Gorillaz Phase One
by YourRhineStoneEyes
Summary: The story of Gorillaz from Murdoc's perspective starting on the day that he met 2D. Contains sexual content, strong language, violence, the usual Gorillaz things. Also Murdocx2D pairing
1. Chapter 1

Murdoc Niccals was never a good man or even a decent man at that. Most people would have wanted desperately to blame his Satanism or the heavy metal music he tended to listen to. It wasn't those things; those things had kept him from blowing his brains everywhere. His father was the one to blame, humiliating him, and screaming at him in fits of drunken rage. His childhood and school life was always there for him to blame, but he never cared much to defend himself when somebody accused him of being disgusting or evil. His usual reply was to just smirk at them and give them the finger. It had gotten him through nearly every situation, until now of course.

His latest rock band wasn't working out; the members of it were talentless idiots. When he had promised his soul to a demon for his flying V bass and the ability to play it hard enough to wake the dead he didn't think he'd end up in a band where he was the only one with any talent. They had only played a couple of shows; the first one ended with them being booed and bottled, the second one had ended with a riot. The riot part had been quite fun, he'd managed to break the drummer's nose, and the arm of some skate punk boy with a pink mohawk. Ever since the last incident he had been planning on starting a new band, he just needed some equipment before he could really get his plan set.

"So what are we doin' again?" The greasy black haired singing asked from the back of the van.

Murdoc rolled his eyes and gripped tighter to the steering wheel as he sped through the nearly empty streets.

"I already told you, you sodding idiot. We're gonna go to that music shop there and rob the place, then I'm kickin' your worthless arses outta my band." He growled through gritted teeth.

The spiky haired man next to him only nodded. They were too stupid to even realize or care that they were out of a band, they were also still stoned. He knew they were a waste, he honestly didn't expect them to help steal anything. He assumed they would have cut out on him the night before, but they made it this far. They were just the usual Goths he found around the local pubs who would talk about Satan and Peter Murphy constantly, talk about death, but fainted at the sight of blood. They did decent with small time crimes, but anything where the possibility of being caught was high they were near worthless. He needed them for this though and after this he would ditch the idiots.

He could see the music shop coming into view and ran his pointed tongue along his bottom lip as he gripped the wheel tighter and pushed forcefully onto the gas pedal causing the car to scream bloody murder as it jerked forward barreling towards the small shop. He had it all planned perfectly; crash through those windows, jump out, grab some things, back into the van, and the hell out of there.

That was of course until the van crashed through the window and he noticed the blue haired boy behind the counter he was about to crash into just standing there staring off into space like he was too out of it to realize there was a car about ready to crash into him. The thought of trying to stop had occurred to him, but before he could switch onto the break he'd already hit the boy, he saw his face slam into the front of the car, then go under. The van came to a stop and smoke began to spew up from under the hood, the doors opened, and his band mates jumped out and fled from the scene.

"Fuckin' worthless, fuckin idiots" Murdoc mumbled as he stumbled out of the van.

Workers and customers stood around staring in shock at the scene, it had to be something new for them to see. He went around the front and looked down to see the blue haired boy lay out on the ground with his legs under the van, the side of his face was bruised and bloodied. Murdoc felt slightly sick when he saw the blood that was soaking into his eye ball causing it to turn black. The boy looked up at him and smiled weakly before blacking out completely, it was a chilling stare. He heard the sirens in the background coming towards the shop, he did the only thing he knew how to do when the chance of being arrested came up; he ran like hell.


	2. Chapter 2

The police had knocked him to the ground and had him in the squad car five minutes later. It wasn't the first time he had been arrested, but it was the most serious charge he'd ever been faced with. The cops hadn't been too happy with him; they reminded him constantly that the boy he hit was only 19, and most likely dead. For some reason it actually bothered him, not a lot of course, but just a little bit. The look and that smile still haunted his mind; he had a feeling he would spend a lot more time than usual drinking and a lot less sleeping. He couldn't figure out why the kid, Stuart, Stuart Pot that was his name. Why hadn't he moved out of the way, was he stoned at work, and why had he smiled like that when he looked at the guy who hit him with the van? Just another idiot, everybody around him was a complete and utter moron.

If the kid died then that was one less idiot in the world.

The attempt at not caring actually made him feel angry towards himself for such a thought. Seriously why in hell's good name was this bothering him so much?

A cop approached the cell with a middle aged man by his side. Murdoc studied the other man; he was short, chubby, in a tweed suit, thick black framed glasses, thick brown mustache, thinning hair, and carrying a brief case. Great they got him the most pathetic lawyer they could find in the whole of England.

"I'm Mr. Turner and you must be Mr. Niccals."

Murdoc rolled his eyes and leaned back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. The cop opened the door allowing the lawyer inside; Murdoc looked up at the cop who only looked down at him with hate. They always hated him and Murdoc quite enjoyed it.

"So 'ow screwed am I?"

"Depends how you want to go about this. The boy that you ran over; Stuart Pot, age 19, he's in college, and was working at the record shop you crashed into the other day. The doctors assumed the worst, his parents certainly had. He isn't dead though, that's the good news, especially for you Mr. Niccals." The lawyer said smiling gleefully.

Murdoc raised an eyebrow under his shaggy mess of black hair as he stared up at the older man.

"Why is tat good news fer me if te kid is alive then?"

"Well I managed to work a deal with Mr. Pot's parents and the court, if you sign these papers I have here with me that state you will take full time care of Stuart as well as some community service during the week days then you'll be out of here today and back home."

"What do ya mean take care of him, don't his parents want him?"

The older man sighed and pulled at his tie.

"Stuart isn't in great shape; he's not in a coma, more like an unresponsive state to put it simply. They aren't quite sure when he will come out of it, yes his mother is a nurse, but the court figured it would make more sense if you were his guardian for this time."

He could feel himself getting annoyed; it wasn't like he had many choices. He kind of wanted to see the boy again, though that blood filled eye still scared him when he closed his eyes and pictured it.

"Fine I'll take care of 'im."

"Excellent; now if you'll just sign these, I'll get them back to the court, and you'll be back home in no time." The older man said excitedly as he handed the forms over to the messy haired man who only whispered obscenities as he signed his name.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Taking Care  
>At first seeing Stuart had made him uneasy; he never showed it though and sure as hell never said anything to even hint towards that. He hated when he had walked into that hospital room with its beeping machines to see the boy's mother standing there with red rimmed eyes and his father giving his son's attacker a look of distrust and hate. They hadn't cursed him or made a move to hit him though, Stuart's mother had only told him what to do to take care of her son, and made sure to remind him several times in her instructions that if she saw one mark or one hint of a cold Murdoc would be in jail for a very long time. She made sure she stressed about his chronic migraines, how if he began whimpering, and shaking that he was getting one. She had given him the prescriptions he needed to take care of the situation and had even followed him back to his shit little flat to make sure it was fit for her son to live in until he was okay again.<p>

The sad thing was that the doctors couldn't even pretend that he'd be alright again. There were things that he wanted to ask her, like why in hell's name his hair was blue, but it was a situation where he knew questions were better off not being asked. Stuart's mother like most mothers showed obvious disgust upon seeing where her son would be living for however long, but didn't say too much. He carried the boy over to the pull out couch and gently laid him down, his good eye was just barely open, and both it and the black eye stared up at Murdoc almost in fascination. If they had been alone he would have smacked him for that look.

He hated that black eye, it looked like it wasn't even there…Was it there; it was just a never ending abyss of darkness with this shine to it.

"It's not missing; just damaged…He might still be able to see out of it, no real way of knowing while he's still in this state….it isn't gone though, it's just dented as they would call it."

Murdoc just barely looked at the woman as she spoke. There was something about the way a mother could care for their child that hurt him, especially in times like this. He'd had a mother, a few actually; there had been the one who gave birth to him, one he rarely saw, and the third was a woman he loved dearly. She was always so kind to him, caring, when he'd come home from school beaten up she would take care of him, tell him he was her little boy, and then his father scared her off….He felt that mix of rage and depression shoot through him, but managed to push it back.

"Well I should be off, just remember what I told you Mr. Niccals. He's my only son; I don't need you to harm him more than you already have." She said her tone was wavering on bitter and a total break down.

He watched as she ran her fingers through the boy's messed blue hair before leaving. He made sure that he locked and chained the door behind her. Now that he was finally alone with the barely conscious boy he felt strange, he felt as alone as he didn't if that made any sense at all.

He ran his fingers back through his greasy hair and sat down on the edge of his mattress. He sat staring at the other man who lolled his head to the side so he could look at him.

"Do you even understand me?"

His voice echoed through the room and he felt idiotic asking the question.

"This is so fuckin' stupid, y'know? I didn't mean ta hit ya kid, it was just wrong timing and all, y'know how tat is mate."

He rubbed his hands up and down over his face and growled in frustration. He should have turned in the names of those sodding idiots he had been with that day, five days in a jail cell just so he could get out and take care of this kid, and pick up trash. What would the cops do, those idiots hadn't done anything, and they were just some idiots he had forced to go with him. If they got charged with anything it'd just be drug possession.

"Well it's yer fault, what were ya thinkin' just standin' there starin' off into space like that? Are you dumb in the head or something like that, just some pathetic dullard doin' nothin' all day. I bet you're just another stoned out college kid and I gotta take care of you."

He didn't care what Stu's mom said, she wasn't there at the moment anyways. He got up and walked over to the boy smacking him hard across the face. It felt good, so did the slaps after that, and the rough pull he gave to the kid's hair before he went back to the bed. Those eyes never left him, he was so drugged up it was pathetic.

"Idiot, fuckin' faceache, I shoulda just taken my jail time instead of this garbage….Dammit how long are ya gonna be like this for anyways?" He yelled at the boy.

A weak moan was his only reply.

This was stupid; it was the equivalent of talking to himself.

"Why's your hair blue like that? It can't be dye, there aren't any roots….Do ya got a girlfriend or are ya into guys, ya seem like you're into guys. Idiot, probably never had sex before, do you even hear me talkin' to you right now? Probably not, I'm wasting my air on you, y'know?...I'm going to bed, why am I even telling you this?"

He turned his back, but could feel those eyes on him. He could feel them on him when he crawled under the ratty black blanket that covered his bed, he could feel them on him as he drifted off to sleep, and that bloodied stare haunted him in his dreams as well. This boy was determined to get into his head and take control of his life without even knowing it. He seemed so stupid and so fucking innocent; it made Murdoc wan to hurt him more. He knew that he would, it was just the Niccals way to hurt things especially if they were a burden on your life in some way.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Pain Donkey

Murdoc had always had a reputation of turning any kind act forced upon him by the courts into utter chaos. Taking care of Stu was not any different, over the months of caring for the kid he couldn't help, but torture him. Sometimes he would hit him for staring at him, hit him when he was drunk, kick him if he scared off a one night stand, or just torture him because nobody would stop him. When he'd find out the boy's mom was coming by he would make sure the bruises were covered well and that the boy was in good condition. He barely spoke to the woman, he generally avoided her actually. He couldn't stand being there; it made him remember his own mom, the one that cared about him. That was one of the other reasons he would beat the boy, it was pathetic, but he would sometimes burn his arm or hand because he hated that Stu got a mom who loved him. Why did that blue haired potato get two loving parents and all the love in the world, while Murdoc sat in grime hoping to never again see the father who ruined his life.

"Come on dullard, down ya go." He said as he pushed the boy's head down under the water.

It was bath time; Murdoc didn't completely hate bathing Stuart. The boy was extremely tall and painfully thin, but quite beautiful. He felt odd thinking such a thing especially about another male, one he had hit with his car. The other reason he didn't hate it was because on occasion he would just hold his head under the bath water until he began flailing frantically. It never lasted too long though, he'd pull him back up, and Stu would wrap his long arms around him clinging to him tightly like Murdoc had just saved his life. After that he would usually smack him for being grateful to such cruel treatment.

He didn't think he could ever understand how this boy worshipped him when he had to know this was the same man hurting him.

"Yer mum would kill me if she knew I did this stuff to ya." He said as he pulled the shaking boy from the bath and sat him down on the floor.

It took some work to pry Stu's arms off of him, he may have been thin, but he was quite strong.

He went to work drying him off then dressing him, he was always careful dressing him. He tried to avoid looking at his body too much and avoided touching certain parts of him, Murdoc didn't like men that way, but sometimes he couldn't help, but think about the younger man that way. It was sick, he was sick; the guy was out of it.

He pulled him back up to his feet and guided him back into the living room where he lay him onto the couch.

"I had a mum like her once, not my real one though….Never knew her…This one was one my old dad had picked up, beautiful woman. She never thought I was a bad kid or nothin', she always took care of me, made sure my dad couldn't find me when he was drunk, and patched me up when kids at school beat on me…They were always such pricks, callin me dullard and faceache…Fuckin' bastards….My dad ran her off, finally got too drunk, punched her, and threatened to cut her if she didn't leave…I cried for days after that…"

He laughed and shook his head trying to make the memory go away.

"Hadn't told anybody that before, probably never will again…"

He looked at the boy, at his nearly lifeless eyes, that stupid look.

"You don't understand nothing I say anyways, so why's it matter?"

Over the past few months he'd told thousands of things to Stu. He'd told him how he never had any real friends, about all of his bands, his deal with Satan, his rock star dreams, and his childhood traumas. Sometimes he swore that the boy understood everything that he was saying, maybe it was just him being psychotic.

"I don't know why I am the way I am….No that's not right, yeah I do…Stupid….When I was fourteen the school thought I seemed a bit off, course hitting puberty young, and spendin' all yer time smokin' isn't right to them….They forced me to go see a shrink, my dad didn't care none either way. They said it was best and he just thought whatever about it, they said I got schizophrenia…Said by the time I'm in my late forties I should be completely outta it, I'm in my thirties now…Y'know how fucked that is? They weren't too nice when they told me either, just blank like robots or somethin'. Fuckin' doctors, Fuckin school….That's why I hit ya, y'know, why I get in fights all the time…Other reasons too, but just I can't control how I feel…I just get real angry and…."

He looked at the boy, his blank gaze, and his arm that hung over the side of the couch limply.

"Never mind, I think I'm more crazy just talkin' to a zombie boy than I am for havin' my mental defect….I'm goin' to the pub, I suppose you'll be fine here by yerself…Not like ya do anything anyways, just fuckin' stare off like tat all the time."

He needed alcohol and possibly a lay; he had only really left the house to do things related to the blue haired little freak. Sometimes he would try to go get some broad even a hooker once or twice, but the moment they saw Stu they would go quiet and just leave. They reacted like the girls in horror flicks when they first see the monster, no matter what the thing is really like they all still freak out, and run for the hills crying bloody murder. Murdoc needed out though and the company of somebody who just wanted to take from him instead of stare at him with worship.


	5. Chapter 5

The pub near Murdoc's place didn't have the best looking of women. After about five drinks they all looked somewhat decent though, after about half an hour he finally picked one out. He'd noticed her looking at him sometimes, he finally went over to her, and just bluntly asked her if she wanted go to back to his place for a bit. She wasn't too bad; she had long red hair, pale skin, green eyes, far too much makeup, a tight white tank top, and black shorts. She dressed like most of the other birds in the area; he almost hated how easy it was to get her to his place. The drive there she kept biting at his neck and groping at his crotch. It went that way all the way up to the front door, but once they were inside, and the light was flicked on it went down hill from there.

"Wot the fuckin' hell is tat thing?" She asked pointing at the blue haired boy in disgust.

Stu turned his head to the side so he could stare at the woman and for some reason Murdoc tried to read his expression.

"That's Stu, he lives here." He said quickly as he tried to get the woman to calm down and stop talking the way that she was about the semi conscious boy.

"Wot's wit his eye, is he retarded or somethin'? Why's he keep starin' like tat, I don't like it, stop staring you little fuckin' freak show." She yelled at him hatefully.

Murdoc grabbed her arm tightly and jerked her backwards, the red head let out a distressed sound before glaring up at the Satanist who was still gripping to her tightly.

"His name is Stuart, he isn't a thing, and he isn't disgustin'. I'm sure as hell not gonna let some cheap broad like you come in here and talk ta him like that."

The woman looked offended as she tried to pull away, Murdoc released her in disgust.

"How dare you talk to me like tat, what you gotta crush on tat ugly little freak? Ya fuckin' him or somefink, I bet he don't understand shit we sayin' right now so why's it matter what I call it?"

His temper snapped and before he knew it he had the woman pinned back against a wall. She looked scared beyond words; he gripped tightly to her arms with his jagged nails digging into her too tanned skin.

"Listen you stupid tramp if ya say one more ting about him t'en I'm gonna hurt ya. Understand, now I want ya te hell outta my home and I better never see your worthless arse ever again."

She nodded slowly, too afraid to even try and speak; he released her and watched as she fled from the flat. Some part of him worried that she would call the police on him, but he didn't care. She had no right going in there and saying those things about Stuart, especially to his face.

Murdoc went over and kneeled in front of the younger man, Stu smiled that drugged up smile of his. The older man reached out and stroked his fingers through his long blue hair. He needed to cut it, it'd looked better spiked.

"Stupid broad, I'm sorry about tat mate, she don't know what she's talkin' about."

He noticed that look of affection and worship fill his mismatched eyes as the Satanist continued stroking his hair.

"You're actually really beautiful, y'know, fuckin' perfect….Ya don't understand anything though, don't know who I am, or how shit I feel about all this. You gotta life you're supposed to live; you've missed about a year of it now. Guess you'll be twenty soon, I'm so sorry about all of this."

He felt sad, he felt angry as he looked into his eyes. He didn't want to hit him this time though, he kind of regretted ever hitting him or burning him. Lately he'd think about kissing him and holding him, it was disgusting to think that way. Not because he hated the idea of homosexuality, that didn't bother him at all. It was the fact that he was a good bit older than him and the boy was barely there mentally. He felt guilty every time he looked at him too long or wondered what his skin would feel like…He needed to stop, but what would it hurt?

"They say if, no, when you come outta this you probably won't remember a thing…Won't remember me at all, so what harm would it do if I did kiss ya? You're so doped up and gone you probably wouldn't know I was doing it anyways."

Murdoc sighed heavily and closed his eyes as he leaned in closer to the younger man. He could feel his shallow warm breaths against his face; he hesitated for a second before pressing his lips to those of the other man's. He kissed him slowly, softly, there wasn't really a response just like he had expected. It only lasted a few seconds before he pulled back and looked down at the floor.

"I'm so fuckin' disgusting, kissing some kid who's barely there. Hope ya don't remember that and wanna kick the shit outta me."

He felt a hand on the side of his face and looked up, he couldn't even really describe the way Stu was looking at him, but he swore he was trying to talk. He actually felt scared for a moment; the last thing he needed was to kiss the zombie boy right when he'd wake up and remember it. He'd probably press charges, his mum would be pissed, but no real words came out. Murdoc took hold of his hand and held it against the side of his face; it took him a second to realize what he wanted.

"Really, there's no way….Nah I'm just fuckin' crazy, haven't had sex in so long I'm thinking you the zombie boy wants me." He said laughing to himself as he let go of the boy's hand and started to stand up.

Stu grabbed hold of his wrist in an attempt to keep him from leaving; he stared down at him, into his eyes so full of worship. He slowly got back down onto the floor and placed a hand on the back of the boy's head tangling his fingers in his hair. He kissed him again and was shocked when the younger man's lips just barely moved against his in a nearly failed attempt at kissing back. Again it only lasted a few seconds before Murdoc pulled away, this time it was more so because the action creeped him out. Some part of him was scared at the idea that this kid understood everything, every hit, every burn, every word spoken to him, and now this. It made him want to hate him, beat him, even strangle him, but he couldn't get himself to do any of those things.

He got up and went over to his bed without another word. He could still feel where the other boy's lips had been and the warmth that came with it, he wasn't supposed to have feelings sexual or other wise towards the zombie boy on his couch. He was just supposed to be there, a wall that he sometimes liked to abuse. Other than that he was just a decoration, Murdoc wasn't supposed to make out with the decoration.


	6. Chapter 6: The Birth of 2D

"C'mon in ya go mate"

Murdoc managed to shove the blue haired boy into the back of his car into a slight sitting position. Stu's head lolled back and he groaned, the Satanist shut the door then got into the front.

"So is he like completely outta it?" A blonde girl asked as she peaked through the window to get a better look at the boy.

They were in an abandoned car lot with a group of people Murdoc sort of knew, mostly from pubs, and some shows. He had needed a break from being inside constantly and it just seemed like the perfect idea, plus with Stu with him he didn't have to worry about him being alone.

"Yeah, yeah luv he's pretty gone in the head. I hit him wit my old van about a year ago, courts left me in charge of him. Can ya believe that?" He said laughing like somebody out of their mind.

A few of the guys who knew him better laughed at the statement, they knew the Murdoc treatment.

"Now I'm gonna show you all a real good trick now." He said as he put the car in reverse then into drive.

He turned the wheel sharply and the car jerked with a howling screech as the tires scraped against the pavement, he saw Stu jerk forward then fall sideways on the seat. He could hear the girls outside cheering and the guys yelling their drunken approval of what he was doing as he continued to whip the car around the lot. Everything was going beautifully until he slammed down onto the break causing the car to come to a harsh stop, his body jerked forward and he nearly knocked his head into the steering wheel, but managed to hold himself back. He didn't manage to stop Stu from flying from the back of the car through the front wind screen.

His eyes went wide when he watched the boy's body shoot through the glass; he landed face down on the pavement sliding a good few feet before finally coming to a stop. With that it began raining, his mind was screaming at him to get out of the car and go check on the kid, but he was too stunned. He was going to prison, the kid's dad was gonna kill him, he was going to prison, he fucking killed him this time.

Nobody said anything; the lot was empty as they all just stood there staring at the motionless and bloodied body that lay on the concrete getting drenched with rain.

A girl let out a shriek and everybody turned to look at her.

"His hand, it moved, I swear it" She mumbled out, her eyes were wide, afraid.

Murdoc looked closely and noticed she was right; Stu's hands were moving. They all watched as the blue haired boy slowly pushed himself up onto his knees and then very slowly rose to his feet. He stood there with his back to all of them for a couple of minutes before slowly turning his head and staring dead at Murdoc. Most people would have been horrified at the sight of this, at the whole situation. He heard the other people as they ran off getting into their cars and speeding off.

Stu stood there with his now dark blue hair flattened down, his pale face was stained with blood, both eyes were nothing but black abysses and blood ran from the newly damaged one. As he stared at the Satanist a nearly sadistic smile spread across his face; Murdoc had never seen something so beautiful before in his life, so perfect, so demonic, and Hell help him for a moment he almost felt love.


	7. Chapter 7

The trip to the hospital this time around had been very frantic. Murdoc spent most of it back in his mind ignoring everybody. He blocked it out when Stu's mom screamed at him and when Stu's apparent girlfriend Paula came in to scream at him for nearly killing her boyfriend twice. After that he'd just been shoved to the side while they all took turns talking frantically to doctors about the blue haired boy's condition. He did notice that Paula would look at him almost with interest sometimes, but then it turned to hateful glares. The doctor's had let Stu's parents in to see him, but told them he was still asleep and that most likely he'd be like that for awhile. They never said anything about pressing charges, Murdoc was pretty sure they were just relieved that their son was alive.

They never let Paula in; they told her that his parents were the only ones allowed to see him until Thursday. She seemed rather angry about that and with one more insanely confusing glare towards Murdoc she was gone. He waited until all of the doctors and nurses were out of sight and slipped into the room where the boy was sleeping. He shut the door quietly and locked it behind him; he turned the bed side lamp on, and took a seat in one of the blue plastic chairs.

He sat with his hands stuffed in his jeans pockets just looking at him almost like he was guarding him. His mind was still filled with that image from the lot that look, that smile….He was like the living dead, something different, something that wasn't even from this realm.

The boy groaned and moved around a bit before finally opening his eyes and slowly pulling himself into a sitting position. He turned his head and looked at Murdoc; those eyes were so black and wet looking, could he see? He had stared at Murdoc, not at him, into him.

"Who are you, wait I remember you from te car lot or somefink." The boy said, he sounded confused.

Murdoc felt angry and mildly hurt that he didn't remember him, maybe he would. He thought he heard one of those doctors say he would slowly remember things, but not too quickly.

"I'm Murdoc; you were in the car wit me. Do ya remember who ya are?" He asked slowly, he wasn't going to scream at him for not remembering.

The boy thought for a bit then nodded slowly.

"Yeah I fink so anyways, unless I changed or somefink, but pretty sure I'm Stu, Stu Pot."

Murdoc smiled slightly.

"Well that's a start then, anything else then?"

He stared off for a while before shaking his head. Murdoc sighed then began to explain everything as slowly and carefully as he could. He tried to read the boy's expression as he spoke, but couldn't find anything there in those black holes. Once he was done he looked away feeling slightly ashamed, he remembered the first incident, that look, and that smile.

"So you kinda saved me life then."

Murdoc looked up at him confused, part of him wanted to scream at him.

"….Yeah mate, I saved yer life."

Why argue somebody who had that much trauma to the head?

"Fanks for tat, I really appreciate it…Have me parents seen me yet, are they okay?"

"Yeah they were in for a bit, so was yer girlfriend…They didn't let her in here though….They're not too happy with me though."

"I am, you took care of me, I owe you for tat."

There was going to be a day the kid regretted saying that.

"Do you um….Do ya know what you look like right now?" Murdoc asked trying to figure out a way to say it.

Stu tilted his head to the side looking more confused now.

"I've only been out fer a year right, ten I shouldn't be tat old lookin."

Murdoc shook his head and bit at his lip to keep from yelling at him.

"No mate I mean yer face isn't in….Hold on a second."

He got up and went into the connected bathroom. He found a small hand mirror on the counter; he looked at his own reflection for a moment. His red and black colored eyes, sharp green teeth, greasy skin, and too shaggy looking hair; he wasn't too brilliant looking himself if he was completely honest. He didn't know if showing the kid his reflection was the best of ideas, but it was better to get it over with than to have those idiotic doctors confuse him anymore.

He handed the mirror to the boy before sitting back in his chair. He watched him carefully and regretted his decision quite quickly. Stu's hands shook and his eyes went wide, he combed his fingers through his shaggy blue hair, touched the small cuts along his face, and finally pulled and pushed at the bruised skin around his eyes.

"I-I…No, no, this ain't me, no way….No, this is a trick den, I don't look like dis." He muttered as he angrily rejected his own reflection.

His dark blue eyebrows arched in confusion and anger as he tossed the mirror to the edge of the bed. He placed his hands over his face and pulled his knees up against himself as he began sobbing.

Murdoc pitied him; all of it was his fault. He got up and sat next to the shaking boy on the bed. He wrapped an arm around him pulling his body close to his own; Stu moved his hands from his face and wrapped them around the older man's midsection holding him tightly. He buried his face against his chest as he continued to cry. He wasn't good at these kinds of things, he rejected people with their emotions, but he felt like he didn't have a choice here. If he did have a choice he didn't want to know about it; he held the younger man close and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I'm hideous, I'm a fuckin' monster. Tat's what I am, I'm repulsive, nobody will want me…She's gonna leave me y'know, nobody will want me after this….I hate this, nobody will wanna look at me."

"Stop that, you aren't hideous alright? Stop saying that about yourself, you're fucking perfect, and if that bird of yours cares about you she'll stick around."

He remembered the way she'd looked at him in the waiting room; that mix of "I hate you" and "I want to fuck you, now". The truth was that girl was as good as gone the minute she saw her boyfriend's new look, but he'd already made Stu upset enough for one night, one lifetime actually.

"Fanks Muds, yer my only real mate y'know tat right?"

"I know Stu, same with you….You should get some sleep, alright?"

"Will ya stay wit me, I don't want ta be alone, and I'm sick of sleepin all the time. Feel like tat's all I been doin'."

Murdoc smiled sadly.

"I can't, those doctors, and your folks will flip their shit if they see me in here with you."

"They just don't get you saved me and all, they'll get it when I tell em….I don't wanna go back to school and work, I wanna live wit you…I kinda remember some fings…I remember you talkin' to me a lot, takin' care of me, and I was happy….I'm happy right now, I wasn't happy at that store though."

"I don't think your folks will like that much kid."

"Please Muds, I really don't wanna go back to tat. I just wanna be around yew, if you want me to tat is."

He thought over it for a moment, it was another mouth to feed…Well one, Murdoc rarely ate that much and from the looks of it Stu didn't eat much anyways.

"Sure mate, you can stay….Just I can't be here when everybody else is, alright? I'll come back when yer girl comes by to see you."

He slipped out of the boy's tight grip and leaned down kissing him on the top of the head before sneaking out of the room.


	8. Chapter 8

"So yer the one who fucked me boyfriend up?" Paula asked as she crossed her arms over her chest and glared up at Murdoc.

"Yeah I am, but he's alright now. Doctor said ya can talk to him and stuff today, said he'll be out by tomorrow."

"Right, I 'ope he ain't too cut up."

"You can go in and see him now." The doctor said as he came out of the hospital room and passed by the two rather quickly.

Paula gave Murdoc one more angered look before walking into the room and slamming the door shut behind her. He shook his head and ran his fingers back through his hair. He should have told Stu she was a flake, that she wasn't going to be able to handle his new look. He listened closely and it wasn't long before he heard the sound of a woman yelling, a couple of minutes later and the black haired girl came storming out of the room. He somewhat expected her to yell at him some more for ruining her boyfriend, but she didn't. She just ran into the elevator and pulled her sunglasses on to cover her frightened eyes from view.

Murdoc went into the room to see Stu curled up on the bed crying. He went over and sat in front of him, he placed a hand on the top of his head smoothing his messed hair. Stu looked up at him, his cheeks were stained with tears, and his lower lip was shaking with each unsteady breath.

"Sh-she….I told ya I'm ugly, she said it right to me face. Said she couldn't date an eyeless freak like me, we need ta go on break, meet otha people…She left me, nobody can love me like this…I don't wanna live like this way."

"Hey, hey don't talk like that. Forget about her, alright, she's a fuckin' flake. She don't deserve you, do you understand me?"

The younger boy looked up at him with those shiny black eyes. Murdoc stroked his cheek wiping the tears away.

"But she was my only love, she's gone now, she's right, nobody will love me, I'm disgustin'."

"Stop that dammit, you aren't ugly. Alright, just listen to me on that. When I saw you stand up that day and stare at me….Blue hair, pale skin, those black eyes starin' at me, and fuck you looked so bloody perfect." Murdoc said his voice trailed off as he ran his fingers from Stu's cheek to back into his hair.

He leaned in pressing his lips to the younger man's. He could feel his body tense and considered pulling back, but he couldn't get himself to, he didn't want to. He continued kissing him, trying to get him to react; he pushed the tip of his tongue against his lips. Stu placed one hand on Murdoc's chest and the other on the back of his neck pulling him closer as he finally kissed back. They kissed slowly, testing it, better than the first time they had kissed. He felt fingers curl and uncurl against the back of his neck and couldn't hold back the shiver he felt. He pushed his tongue into Stu's mouth tasting him, wanting more of him, but it wasn't really the place for that.

The kiss broke, but they didn't let go of each other.

"I remember tat." The younger man whispered

Murdoc felt nervous and disgusting like he had the day he'd kissed him.

"Remember what mate?"

"Yew kissin' me ten pullin' away, I remember pullin' yew back cause I liked it…Why do yew keep kissin me anyways?" He asked looking up at him curiously.

"I like to" Murdoc stated simply

Stu laid his head against the older man's chest and Murdoc held him tightly.

"So wot does tat mean t'en?"

"We're friends….We're just friends that do stuff wit each other tat most friends don't."

It wasn't dating, it wasn't commitment, but he'd still get his blue haired beauty somehow. If he dated him then he'd hurt him emotionally, if he was friends with him he could abuse him, but he could also have sex with him. It seemed like the perfect relationship as he planned it in his twisted mind. For right now though he just wanted to take care of him and nothing more.

They lay together on the hospital bed; Stu with his back pressed against Murdoc and the older man with his arms wrapped firmly around him. Sometimes they would talk, sometimes he would bite at his neck, but mostly they would just lay there in silence. By tomorrow they would be out of this boring white place and back into the dingy badly lit flat that they called home.


	9. Chapter 9

"So do you really remember bein' here at all?" Murdoc asked as he led Stu into the small apartment.

He watched as the blue haired man entered the small rec room and looked around curiously. He scratched at the side of his head then looked back over his shoulder at the older man.

"I fink so, I fink I remember bein on tat couch a lot."

"Yeah well ya got that part right. Only place I really had fer ya when I was takin' care of you." Murdoc said as he took a seat on the worn down navy blue couch.

It wasn't a great place for even one human being to live let alone two, but it fit his needs. Mostly his needs consisted of the occasional ritual, frequent shags, and a place to pass out when he was completely drunk.

He continued to watch the taller man as he walked around the place looking over everything. He finally went and sat next to the Satanist and flung an arm around him.

"I remember somefinks…Not everyfink though, like yew talkin' to me a lot, but not exactly what yew were sayin' to me." He said as he tried to remember more things.

"Well yeah it woulda been weird keepin' a person in my place as some random decoration."

Stu nodded slowly and smiled.

"I've been wonderin' why is your hair blue like that?" Murdoc asked as he ran his fingers through the mess that was down to the boy's shoulders by this point.

Stu looked over at him then ran his fingers through his own hair looking down at it curiously then back at the older man.

"Well…When I was little I was in a tree 'ouse and I fell outta it and landed on me head. After tat my hair turned all blue and stuff."

Murdoc stared at him for a moment then laughed.

"Yer really strange mate," He said shaking his head slowly.

The other man continued to stare at him, exactly how much brain damage could one man endure in a lifetime?

"Do yew think ya could cut my hair for me, I don't fink I like it bein' this long anymore." He said as he continued petting through it.

"Can't promise ya it'll look great, but I could give it a go."

Murdoc reached over the side of the couch and began searching through piles of magazines, rituals, lyric sheets, and finally he found the scissors. He returned and motioned for the younger man to turn around so that his back was facing him.

He hadn't exactly cut hair before, not on willing beings before. There had been a few neighborhood dogs he'd shaved nearly bald, sleeping elders on park benches, and a few knocked out stoners. To try and do a decent job cutting the hair of somebody who asked him to…That he hadn't done before, but from what he gathered so far from the younger man he knew he wouldn't get angry even if he ended up completely bald.

He began cutting along the long dark blue strands, sometimes he swore they changed to different shades every now and again. As he cut Stu's hair the younger boy began humming something and soon the humming turned into singing. He stopped half way through what he was doing and began listening to the younger man's voice. His mind began working quickly as he listened to the angelic sound coming from Stu's mouth. He couldn't believe this, was this why he hit him with his van….It was perfect, maybe the Devil had great plans for him in the future. Maybe his dreams of having the world's largest rock group weren't quite dead yet.

The boy stopped singing and turned to look at him.

"Wot's wrong?"

"Ah…Erm nothing, ju-just done…Hey Stu um what do you think about bein' in my band that I'm starting?"

The boy turned his body around giving the older man his full attention.

"Really, yew want me in yer band?"

"Yes I really do, you got a great voice on you mate. You'd make a perfect singer and ya got good looks on you too…"

Stu blushed and looked down; he began fumbling with his fingers.

"Wot about my eyes; won't tat make people sick when they see us live?"

"It won't and the ones that it does freak they can just sod off, we don't need 'em listenin' to our music."

'Our' he was actually sharing his band with this kid, his ideas, and his lyrics. He was also sharing his apartment and his bed with him so why not?

Stu smiled and crawled onto the older man's lap wrapping his arms loosely around his neck.

"Fank you Muds, yew really 'ave saved me life and all. Givin' me dis place ta live then letting me in yer band. I really do owe you everyfink."

It still scared him how the kid looked at him, how he touched him. He was holding off on abusing him for as long as he could, he wondered if he remembered those things, the times of being beaten and occasionally stabbed. Shit he wondered if the boy would even care about being hit.

He ran his fingers through Stu's now spiked blue hair. He looked over his appearance and realized to most people it would be quite horrifying, but he couldn't see it. He leaned in kissing him quickly, the younger man smiled at him. He kind of liked the way he smiled with his crooked teeth….He needed to stop liking him so much.

"2D" Murdoc mumbled to himself as he looked at the now rather confused man.

"Wot, wot does 2D mean?"

"That's you mate, I'm callin' you that from now on."

"How come?"

"You got two dents in yer head." He said pointing to the black circles.

"Tat's mean y'know makin' fun of me like tat….I do like it though sounds kinda cool."

"Good then from now on no more Stuart, just 2D."

He leaned in kissing the boy again, he kissed back readily. The more times they did this the more eager he noticed the younger man was, he held him closely as they kissed more passionately. Murdoc ran his fingers up under his shirt touching along his pale skin, he groaned as 2D tugged at his messed black hair. He broke away and watched as the singer pulled back quickly removing his shirt and tossing it to the floor.

He placed his hands on the blue haired man's sides gripping tightly. He leaned forward and licked from the center of his chest down to his navel then back up again.

"Yer tongue always look tat way?"

Murdoc looked up at him smirking.

"Not always, told ya about it while you were outta it…Might tell ya again later." He said before moving up and kissing the taller man roughly.

He moved his hands from his sides down to his thighs; he gripped him tightly as he moved up off of the couch with the younger boy clinging onto him. He laid 2D down on the mattress and went from his mouth to his neck; he bit down hard causing the other man to moan loudly. He looked up at him and smiled wickedly.

"So you like tat?"

2D only nodded frantically in reply.

He gave one more nip before pulling away completely; he pushed the boy's legs off from around his lower back and lay down next to him. The singer rolled onto his side and stared at the bassist with a look of frustration.

"Why'd you stop doin' tat for?"

"I felt like it….Come 'ere" Murdoc said as he motioned for the singer to get on top of him.

2D complied and crawled on top of him sitting on his lower stomach with his hands pressed firmly against his chest. Murdoc reached up and brushed stray hair away from his face.

"I saved yer life"

"Yeah I know yew did."

"You owe me your soul."

"Okay" the younger man said shrugging his shoulders.

"You're my singer and my mate, you belong to me now."

The taller man only nodded in reply, no questions, and no obvious signs of worry. At that moment Murdoc realized he could do or command anything of his new found singer without worrying about any protests.

He pulled 2D down and kissed him again, he liked how eager he was. He liked the way his fingers were automatically in his hair and his body pressed tightly against him. Maybe the Devil had added some more good parts to his deal after all.


	10. Chapter 10

Murdoc sat in front of his burned out computer looking through the usual web sites. Every once in a while he looked over at his bed and the sleeping blue haired boy that was laying on it. It was strange how somebody who spent a little over a year knocked out could even want sleep anymore.

He continued looking through photos of nude women, some of the things he looked at he doubted were anywhere near legal. Some photos held what appeared to be women who looked rather dead, some tied up….Usually he would be turned on by these sorts of things, but ever since 2D got out of his zombie state he hadn't really been interested.

"Ew wot are yew lookin' at?"

He looked over to see the singer who was now standing next to him leaning down to get a better look at the screen and the sick pornographic images it held.

"Wot don't you ever look at things like this?" Murdoc asked sounding mildly frustrated.

"Not anyfink like dat…Besides I thought yew said you got me for tat stuff now….Well not tat stuff."

Murdoc clicked out of the web site and turned his attention to the older man.

"Yeah I suppose I said something like that."

2D went and sat down on the bed and looked up at the bassist. The older man went over and sat on his lap; he placed his hands on his shoulders and roughly shoved him back onto the bed.

Murdoc removed his shirt before leaning down and kissing the singer roughly. He had a hand on either side of his head and groaned when he felt fingers digging into his back. The women he'd have sex with were generally just there or tried to make everything dramatic like a porn film. This was something completely different; there was actually passion in the way the blue haired boy was kissing him, the way his nails were clawing into his skin, and teeth nipping at his lower lip. He could feel himself getting hard rather quickly; he ground his hips down against the younger man's causing him to moan in response.

He broke the kiss and went to work on 2D's neck biting hard enough to break the skin then sucking at the blood that slowly bubbled to the surface. He felt fingers tangling in his greasy hair and another hand on his chest. He focused on the pulse under his mouth and the soft whimpers and moans that were made with each rough bite or each caress of his tongue against damaged skin. Murdoc slowly ran a hand down his body to his crotch, he smiled when he felt the singer was as into this as he was. He left his hand there not doing anything, within seconds 2D was bucking his hips and groaning in frustration as he tried to get the older man to touch him. Murdoc just barely rubbed at him taking it slow, the younger man let out a soft frustrated cry and the bassist replied by running his tongue along his jawline before kissing him quickly.

"C'mon more, please Muds"

"More what"

The younger man groaned and his cheeks turned red. Murdoc couldn't help, but laugh at the reaction. He was beginning to think the boy was more interesting out of a coma than he had been in one.

"Please, just…."

Murdoc rubbed at him more roughly this time and watched in amusement as his back arched off of the bed and his eyes shut tightly.

"That?"

The singer nodded quickly.

The bassist continued rubbing and groping him through his jeans finding the moans and expressions he made amusing enough for a couple of minutes. He wanted more than this though, especially for himself. He quickly unfastened the younger man's pants sliding them and his underwear down to his ankles then went to work with his own. 2D kicked his pants off the rest of the way as he looked over the older man's body with a look of mild fascination. Murdoc placed his hand on the side of his face, he kissed him passionately, he felt a hand on the back of his neck, and another on his lower stomach. He reached down moving the hand on his stomach lower silently hinting at what he wanted.

2D broke from the kiss and looked up at the older man.

"I never been wit another guy before, not tat I remember about anyways." He said sounding embarrassed.

"Me either….Just do what you'd do to yourself, alright? You'll know if I like what yer doin' or not."

The younger man nodded slowly before reaching down the rest of the way and grabbing hold of the bassist dick. He began stroking him slowly; his eyes never left Murdoc's as he watched his expression carefully in hopes of not screwing up. Once the initial hesitation passed by he began working at a quicker pace occasionally running his thumb over the tip. Murdoc groaned in reply to each motion of the younger's hand, he began biting and sucking on his neck and then his chest as the singer continued working him. He never thought in his lifetime he would be sexually aroused because of another man and then be touched by another man. He was actually grateful that Paula bitch had left, if it wasn't for that then he wouldn't have this gorgeous man under him right now.

"Stop mate" He mumbled as he reached down grabbing hold of 2D's wrist stopping his motion.

"Did I do somefink wrong Mu'doc?" He asked nervously

"No, no not at all…Just lay back luv I wanna try somethin' wit you." He said speaking softly.

Murdoc sat back on his knees and pushed the younger man's legs apart so he had enough room to settle between them. He reached over the side of the bed and began digging through condom wrappers and a few knives until he found a half empty bottle of lube. He could feel 2D's eyes on him and wondered if he would tell him he didn't want to do that….Then he remembered that the singer would do anything as long as he thought it'd make Murdoc happy.

"Wot you need tat stuff for?"

Murdoc poured some of the substance onto the palm of his hand coating his fingers then his dick with it. He tossed the container back onto the floor then adjusted their bodies until he found a position that he was pretty sure would work for what he wanted to do.

"So it won't 'urt as much."

"Oh okay den"

"It's gonna feel a bit weird, alright?" Murdoc asked before pushing a finger into the taller man.

2D closed his eyes tightly and bit at his bottom lip as the older man pushed his index finger all the way inside of him. He pulled back out then pushed two fingers inside of him, he pulled half way out, and then slowly pushed back in. He watched the younger man's face carefully with each slow movement to make sure he wasn't too uncomfortable.

"Yew alright D?"

The younger man nodded in reply.

Murdoc leaned down and began kissing at his neck and chest; he flicked the tip of his tongue at the singer's left nipple as he pulled his fingers out of him completely.

"If ya don't want to then I won't, it's gonna hurt a lot." Murdoc said honestly as he looked up at the younger man.

"I wanna do it, I'll be al'ight."

He slowly pushed his dick inside of him stopping once he was half way inside, he felt muscles tightening around him, and watched the severely pained look on the younger man's face.

The Satanist reached a hand up softly caressing the blue haired man's cheek; he leaned in kissing him softly.

"It's alright luv, yer doin' fine….Just let me know when you're ready."

"Al'ight"

The bassist slowly pulled out then pushed back in, the singer's body felt less tense this time. He wanted to just fuck him like he would with the women he generally brought back, but this was different. He continued with the slow steady pace hoping he would find the blue haired boy's prostate soon so that it'd be less painful for him. After that point he'd be able to go as fast as he wanted to. He reached down wrapping his fingers around the singer's dick stroking him in time with each thrust hoping to take his mind off of the burning pain.

He continued kissing and nipping along his neck listening as the sounds went from ones of pure pain to ones of pleasure. He pulled out completely then pushed back in except harder this time, he felt fingers digging into his back, and listened to the loud moan that fell from 2D's lips. Murdoc continued with the fast pace, the singer wrapped his legs around his lower back pulling him in further. 2D tangled his fingers in black hair pulling and urging at the older man, Murdoc moved up and kissed him hungrily. He gripped tightly onto the younger man's hips holding him still as he continued pounding into him.

His head felt like it was spinning as he continued thrusting into the younger man, it actually felt better than any bird he'd been with. It wasn't like he wanted men, but he wanted this one. He buried his face in the crook of the singer's neck moaning and growling as he felt the familiar tightening in his stomach. The sound of his name followed by 'God' coming from the blue haired man made him smile. He was God, he was 2D's God, and he knew it would always be that way.

Murdoc reached down taking hold of the singer's dick stroking him in time with each quick thrust. Soon he was coming inside of him; he bit into 2D's neck muffling each moan as he slowed his pace as he rode out his orgasm. The fingers that had been clawing into his shoulder blade were now just rubbing gently. He continued to stroke him; he watched his face liking the pleasure, and mild frustration as he pumped the vocalist closer.

"That's it luv" He whispered as he ran his thumb over the tip a few times before letting go completely.

2D looked up at him confused and slightly angry.

"Please Muds, c'mon yew can't do tat to me."

"Hold on a second, I wouldn't do tat to ya."

He moved down the singer's body trailing the tip of his tongue from his chest all the way down to his belly button. He kept his eyes locked on the other man hoping he got the point by now. Murdoc flicked his tongue over the tip of his dick before taking the head into his mouth running his tongue around it. He watched the realization hit the singer as his eyes widened then fell closed; he reached one hand down placing it on the back of the bassist head. He took more into his mouth sucking slowly; 2D tossed his head back against the bed, and let out a loud moan. He went at a faster pace as he watched the quick rise and fall of the singer's chest as he brought him closer. He pulled off completely replacing his mouth with his hand. He moved up and grabbed 2D roughly by the back of the head, the singer's eyes widened and he let out a small whimper, Murdoc kissed him hard. With that the younger man was coming in his hand and onto his chest, he could feel his body shaking beneath him and swallowed each desperate moan. He released him and broke away from the kiss; Murdoc rolled onto his back and reached over grabbing his jeans off of the floor. He pulled a pack of cigarettes and his lighter out of the pocket and popped a stick out placing it between his lips. He offered the carton to the younger man who shook his head. Murdoc lit the cigarette and took a long drag, he watched as the singer went for his own discarded jeans grabbing out an orange prescription bottle.

"Migraine?"

2D looked at him then put his focus back onto the bottle as he poured four pills into the palm of his hand.

"Thought you only took two of those, least tat's what your mum said anyways."

"Well…I like takin' more tan tat…She don't know though, she'd freak if she did." He said smiling sadly.

He popped the pills into his mouth like candy then settled back down next to the bassist resting his head on his chest.

Murdoc wasn't anybody to judge especially when it came to drug habits. He wrapped an arm around the man's shoulder holding him closely.

"So how was it?"

2D looked up at him and smiled lazily.

"Real good, kinda 'urt for a bit though…I liked it a lot though."

"Good, we'll do it a lot more then." He whispered as he kissed the top of his head.

"I like it wen yew call me luv, it's nice."

"Yeah, you like that? I'll do that more too then."

They laid there for awhile and it wasn't long before 2D drifted off to a drug induced sleep. Murdoc spent the time thinking over the past year and the future. He needed a better place than his flat, he needed more people for his band to be complete, and he also had to wonder just how long he'd be able to maintain the thing he had going with the singer, probably for a good while. In his mind everything was going perfectly.


	11. Chapter 11

The past few weeks had went quite well; Murdoc had showed his songs to 2D and played the bass parts for the ones that were at least half way completed. He loved the delicate tone the boy's voice could hold, usually the sessions would end with talking, or they would end in sex. He was beginning to fall into the pattern quite easily; he rarely got angry with the boy. There were moments he'd smack him in the back of the head if he'd ask something extremely stupid, but it was rare. Besides 2D didn't seem to mind him hitting him too much, the first couple of times seemed to shake him, but after that he just took it.

Today wasn't as interesting as the other days though. The singer had decided to run out, he had made a few phone calls, and said he needed to run out for awhile. Murdoc thought it was odd, but didn't really care enough to ask about it. Instead he took the opportunity to get into the bottle of whiskey he'd found buried under a pile of dirty clothes while he searched through his usual porn sites. He clicked into a link for one video that interested him, but instead of a video he got an advertisement instead. He was about to exit out of it until he really looked at it.

There was a photo of a large building on top of a hill; he could barely really see the building in detail because of how dark the photo was. It almost looked like it was dark there all the time, it was a stupid thought, but that's what he felt while he studied the photo. He began scanning through the words where the person who posted it rambled about hauntings and finally about the owner needing a renter…He looked for a price, but couldn't find one….There was a phone number though; Murdoc got up from the chair and went over to the couch searching until he found the phone right where 2D had thrown it before rushing out of the house. He dialed in the number and wondered if anybody would even pick up; it seemed like some kind of virus, or a hoax.

The phone didn't even get a chance to ring once before somebody picked up.

"Hello, um yeah I'm callin' about that ad of yours on the internet." Murdoc said slowly wondering if he was even talking to anybody.

"Yes, yes the ad, are you interested in the house?"

The voice was that of a man, he sounded old, frantic, and horrified.

"Err…Yeah, how much do ya want for it?"

"Nothing, just meet me at the address…It's on the advertisement, the place is yours. Goodbye."

With that the line went dead. Murdoc held the phone away from his face and looked down at it curiously, he was still trying to figure out the conversation he'd just had. He went back to his computer and looked at the address, he wrote it down, and clicked out of the windows he had up.

A couple minutes later 2D came into the house grinning, he kicked the door shut behind him. He flopped down on the sofa and looked over at the bassist.

"Wot are you so happy about?" Murdoc asked as he went over and sat next to the blue haired man.

His hair had been navy just a week ago, but now it was a sky blue. He wanted to question it, but it'd only be more confusing if he did.

"I got back togeth'er wit Paula, isn't tat great?" 2D said excitedly

Murdoc looked at him for a moment, he felt annoyed, and frustrated.

"Plus she's a real good guitarist; she said she could be in our band if you want her to be."

The bassist nodded slowly.

"Tat's great, so she can really be in yer band den?"

"Yeah….Yeah sure mate, yer girl can be in the band….I thought you weren't getting back wit her though, what happened?"

"Well she called my mum and asked about me, she gave her the number, and she called me. Den we went out today and talked a bit, she said I kinda look cute dis way, and she said you seemed alright. So she said she'd give us anotha' chance and I told her about te band and everyfink. It's great isn't it, we got a guitarist, and I got my girlfriend back too."

Murdoc leaned back against the arm of the couch and glared at the younger man who was completely oblivious to the look.

"Yeah real great dullard….I'm gonna be going out in a bit, found a place online for us to move into….The two of us and yer bird there."

"Great, how much does it cost den?"

"Not real sure, guess nothing actually…Guy just said to meet him at the address and it's mine."

2D tilted his head to the side.

"Tat's kinda odd ain't it?"

"Yeah I suppose it is….Still we need a better place than dis, especially with yer girl movin' in with us….Well I'm going to go, I'll be back, or not if he kills me or something…" Murdoc mumbled as he pushed himself up off of the couch and quickly made his way out of the flat.

He slammed the door behind him and gripped the keys tightly in his hand. He began mumbling obscenities under his breath as he got into Stylo slamming the door shut hard enough to jar the whole car.

Part of him hoped the guy on the phone was a total whack job; he could use an axe to the head right now. He hated that girl and he hated how stupid 2D was to get back with her, she was just getting with him to be in the band. If he had any sense in that empty blue head of his he would have realized that, but he was too stupid.

Murdoc took a deep breath and began looking for the address more closely. Well at least his band was closer to being completed now; all he needed now was a drummer.

He finally pulled up to a tiny shack out at the end of an abandoned road away from everything. It looked nothing like the place he'd seen in the photo, great he was going to get robbed, raped, or killed. Hell why not just be brave and say all of the above?

He grabbed his knife from the dashboard shoving it into his pocket before he got out and made his way up to the small building that didn't look big enough for anybody. He pounded his fist against the door hoping there would be a good explanation behind all of this.

The door swung open revealing a rather small tired looking old man. He looked up at the bassist through blood shot eyes; he looked like he'd seen Hell.

"Alright mate what in bloody hell is this about, this ain't the place from your little picture." Murdoc growled angrily

He put his hand in his pocket ready to stab the bastard if he had to, mostly just because he was pissed off.

"N-no it's…The house is in America, I'm staying here in England you see….It's yours…It's yours…See I have the keys…It's yours, you just have to go see it with me so I know you're serious about taking it from me…That's all, is that alright with you?"

"America, you want me to fly all te way to America just for a stinkin' fuckin' house tat may not even exist? I gotta go wit you den, if you're lyin to me I swear I'm cutting you."

The old man began nodding frantically.

"Yes that's right….Tomorrow morning, I'll take you there. Meet me at the airport at around one PM."

Murdoc stood looking down at the old man. He looked out of his mind, bad enough he'd driven to the middle of nowhere just for this conversation, but now he had to go to another country for a house he barely got a good look at….Then again looking at what awaited him at his flat he couldn't help, but think going to America with some crazed old man for a look at some crap house was actually a decent plan.

"Alright, alright I'll go wit ya."

"Thank you sir, thank you so very much." The man said bowing before running back into his shack.

Murdoc shook his head and shoved both hands into his pockets as he walked back to his car.


	12. Chapter 12

When Murdoc had left without word the next day to go check out their possible new home he had expected a hoax or to be murdered. He hadn't exactly told 2D about it, he was until he saw him and Paula on the couch kissing and whispering to each other. He wanted to punch her then he wanted to strangle him for being such an idiot. Why did he need to tell them anything anyways, they were both so dumb that he could go missing for weeks before they'd realize it.

Per usual the old man was strange acting and looked around nervously at every sound. When they arrived at the property it made the picture look even more shit than it already had been. The place was huge, sat on top of a large hill; it loomed over everything, and had the mad scientist feeling to it. The old man informed him that there was a graveyard in the back, swimming pool, a studio room, and nearly a hundred bedrooms and bathrooms. He also began rambling on about zombies or bad things happening, but Murdoc had stopped listening after he heard recording studio. The man informed him that the place was called Kong, some people recorded in it, other people stayed, some killed themselves, and others had committed massacres. Murdoc honestly didn't care about any of that, so what? A few dead people every now and again, he had a recording studio, and a home where he would be able to avoid faceache and his annoying girlfriend. Once the old man was done rambling on about the history there was a loud screech, with that he threw the keys at the bassist then ran like hell.

He considered going into the place and checking around, but he would do that later when he had 2D and Paula with him. Right now all he needed to do was get back to his flat to make sure the two idiots hadn't starved or burned it to the ground…If they did burn it down though he hoped the girl was caught inside.

He knew that he shouldn't care; it wasn't like he was in love with the idiot or anything. He just didn't like having his property taken away from him, he didn't like the way the kid looked at her like she was some type of a Goddess. Murdoc couldn't see it; he just saw a depressingly ugly girl who got with the dumbest boy in her school, that's all that he saw. He considered telling the singer that his girlfriend just wanted in a band, but he refrained. Mostly because he couldn't risk losing his singer and guitarist when he had just gotten them into his band; his, both of them belonged to him as long as they were in his band.

The ride back home had been boring filled with screaming children and middle aged men looking at the asses of the stewardess's. He managed to spend most of the flight somewhat tipsy in hopes it'd make the people around him slightly more bearable, if anything it made them all that more annoying. He really couldn't argue the violent urges of murderers, he couldn't stand stupid people.

When the plane landed and the door opened he shoved and cursed at people as he shoved them out of his way. He noticed the dirty looks and offended sounds they made as he rudely pushed past them, but he really didn't care. He had things that he needed to do, he needed to pack his garbage, and his two new found band mates. He hated he'd have to try and catch them up on everything and then get on another stupid plane, but it'd just be another few hours and he'd be in Kong….Kong Studios, perfect, it was as musical as 2D's voice.

When he opened the front door 2D wrapped his arms around his neck holding onto him tightly. He placed his hands against the boy's chest and roughly shoved him back; the blue haired man stumbled backwards and fell onto the ground. Murdoc only glared down at him, what made him think that he could touch him like that?

"Get offa me faceache"

"Where 'ave yew been, you've been gone fer ages Mu'doc. I was worried about yew, so was Paula, I fink anyways." He said as he looked over at the girl who was laid out on the couch painting her fingernails red.

He could swear that was one of the few things she ever did.

"Not really, t'ough ya do make dis dump a bit less borin'." She mumbled never looking away from her nails.

"I got us a place to live, it's in the states. Now pack yer shit, we're gonna leave tomorrow morning."

"Wait, wot, movin?" 2D asked as he got up from the floor and looked at the bassist utterly confused.

"Yeah movin that's what I said faceache."

"Why we movin' for?" Paula asked sounding slightly annoyed.

He would have loved to have slapped her; he always wanted to slap her.

"We're movin' cause I fuckin' said so. It's my band, yer in my band. Stop askin' stupid fuckin' questions and pack your stuff up." He yelled angrily

2D looked at him still confused and mildly hurt, Paula shrugged and mumbled something under her breath. Murdoc turned away from them and began throwing things into bags, not everything; just things that he knew were of some importance. Once he was done he noticed the other two sitting on the couch; Paula still working on her nails and 2D staring off into space.

"Fuckin' hell, pack already"

"Why, we aren't goin' anywhere till tomorrow…Plus yew haven't told us anyfink about where we're goin' to." 2D said crossing his arms over his chest.

The Satanist stalked over to the younger boy who went from looking brave to scared shitless within seconds.

"Yer my singer and yer bird there is my guitarist. We're goin to a place called Kong Studios, we're gonna live there, and you do not ask me fuckin' questions." He yelled before punching him hard in the mouth.

2D fell back against the couch then leaned forward coughing and groaning in pain. The vocalist spit three teeth into the palm of his hand, blood dripped in thick threads from the top of his mouth.

"Yew knocked his teeth out, great, fuckin' cunt." Paula muttered angrily.

Murdoc turned to glare at her.

"Shut up and will ya stop with tat god damn nail polish before I shove it down yer fuckin' throat?" He yelled

He grabbed the bottle away from her and threw it against the wall watching it break staining the wall with a red close to the shade that was still dripping out of 2D's mouth. Paula looked at him with disgust then smirked at him.

"Whatever yew say luv." She whispered

He felt like throwing up, he looked back over to the blue haired boy who was still staring down at the teeth he held in the palm of his hand.

"You get cleaned up and you stop fuckin' looking at me, I'm going down to the pub, and when I come back you lot better be packed up."

With that he was out the door slamming it behind him, he heard something fall and break. He honestly didn't care; his fist still throbbed dully from where he had punched the younger man. He felt bad about it, but he couldn't control that and besides it was his fault for pissing Murdoc off so badly. He would get over it, he always got over it when the bassist hit him.


	13. Chapter 13

The house had the classic horror feel on the inside just like it had on the outside. He swore that he had the sound of a man screaming in pain somewhere, but shrugged it off.

"Is tere any booze here?" Paula asked looked completely uninterested in the place.

"Yeah I think so, good luck finding the kitchen though." Murdoc said as he continued looking around the room they were standing in.

He expected it to be completely empty, but instead it was full of high tech gadgets, furniture, and most likely some food and booze. He would hit the alcohol cabinets eventually, but he really didn't want to be alone with that creepy bitch.

He looked over to 2D who still stood there looking around with that blank dumb expression of his.

"Hey dullard gonna just fuckin' stand there or take my bags to a room?"

The singer turned and looked at him then down at the bags on the floor.

"Wot room, wot if I got lost….I thought I saw somebody out in te graveyard."

Murdoc rolled his eyes and dug his nails into the palms of his hands to keep from strangling him.

"I don't care wot room you take them to, just go to one you moron."

The singer nodded quickly as he picked the bags up off of the ground. Murdoc smirked as he watched the singer struggle trying to carry everybody's stuff down the hall way, he could have told the dullard about the elevator shaft, but what would be the fun in that?

He sat down on the large black couch in the center of the room; he heard footsteps and assumed it was either the girl or one of the dead folks that were haunting the place.

"Tat crazy ol' fuck ya got tis place from got some nice booze, like rum?" She said dangling a bottle in front of the older man's face.

He grabbed it away from her opening it and guzzling it like it was water.

"Guess that'd be a yes t'en." She said taking a seat next to him.

He noticed she kept looking at him, not the same kind of looking like at the hospital. He glared over at her hoping that she'd turn her head or get freaked out, but she continued with that annoying staring.

"Y'know yer kinda hot fer a total prick." She said before taking a long drink from her bottle.

Murdoc mumbled something under his breath, he continued drinking wondering if he should find the singer or just keep ignoring his idiot girlfriend.

He felt a hand on his knee and froze, it quickly moved up to his inner thigh squeezing.

"What the hell are ya doin?" He asked sounding annoyed.

If she wasn't their guitarist he would have broken her fingers.

"Wot do ya want me ta do….2D's nice an all, but not completely t'ere in da head…Yew t'ough…."

He grabbed hold of her wrist and shoved her hand away. She looked at him with annoyance like nobody had ever turned her down before. He didn't even say anything to her, he just left, and made his way into what he was pretty sure was the kitchen. The old man had given him a map to the place, but said that sometimes new rooms would appear. None of it made sense to him, he didn't really care though, he swore he saw two little kids running through the hall way.


	14. Chapter 14

"Wot the hell is tat?" Paula asked looking over the large metal thing that sat in their parking garage.

Murdoc patted the side of it and grinned at his two band mates.

"My Winnebago, since I can't really stand either of you dullards I decided I need a place to get away from you."

"Whatever"

"Tat's not nice" 2D said sounding mildly hurt.

Murdoc rolled his eyes at the two of them.

"Now when I'm 'ere I don't wanna see either of you, ya come in without askin' me and I smash yer fuckin' face in. Got that?"

Paula nodded, shrugged, and then went back into the house. 2D stood there staring at him like he was trying to figure something out.

"Why you always wantin' ta get away from me for?"

He thought about just slapping him or kicking him in preference to a real response, but he wasn't in the mood for that. He also couldn't help, but feel bad at the look of hurt and disappointment on the singer's face.

"I need my privacy mate, ya got yer bird t'ere to keep ya company."

"Yeah, but she don't pay too much attention ta me. Unless she wants sex and even den….I don't know, just we don't hang out like we did back in England, I miss tat ya know."

He didn't like thinking about 2D having sex with her, she was disgusting inside and out. He really didn't like remembering how things were before Paula showed up, how great it was, and then the day the singer came into the house over joyed he got his girlfriend back.

"Whatever, look I'm goin' in the Winnie, bother me, and I smash yer fuckin' face."

Murdoc went inside slamming the door shut behind him, he had a feeling 2D was still standing there. He really didn't give a fuck; the idiot could go into the graveyard and get attacked by zombies for all he cared. Then again knowing his zombie movie obsession he'd probably enjoy that.

He opened the small fridge that sat next to the broken down table and grabbed out a beer. He wondered if he'd been drinking more since the move or it just seemed that way. He couldn't stop thinking about 2D and all the things they used to do. He'd kill him if he ever really brought it up, he'd definitely murder him if that bitch ever found out about it. He really needed to stop it; he had more important things to think about right now like where in hell he was going to find a drummer. So far his band had kind of jus fallen into his lap with hitting 2D with his van and then Paula coming along a little over a year later. He wondered if he could just get very drunk and go driving until he ran somebody down, maybe he'd get lucky and they'd be a drummer.


	15. Chapter 15

Murdoc stalked up behind the large man who stood behind the counter in the record store. He put the sack over the other man's head and shoved him down onto the floor. The floor shook with the impact of the larger man's body.

"Get offa me dammit." Came the muffled voice from under the bag.

The bassist knocked the man hard in the back of the head satisfied when the body under him seized its struggling. He went to work tying the man's hands behind his back then binding his feet together. Murdoc stood back and looked down at the large unconscious man, he groaned knowing he'd have to drag him to his car.

"Well 'ere we go t'en" He mumbled as he hooked his hands under the larger man's armpits and began dragging him out of the store and into the empty parking lot. It took him nearly half an hour to hoist the younger man into the back of the car.

He heard the other man groan and hoped he wouldn't wake up yet. He just needed to get him into the house which took him another thirty minutes. He thought about making the dullard and his girlfriend help, but knew they were useless. He managed to drag the large man into the rec room and dropped him carelessly next to the couch catching the attention of his two band mates.

"Wot the fuck is dat?" Paula asked

She stopped painting her nails and got up from the couch walking around to look at the man laying on the floor.

"Who's there, where am I? Where the fuck did you take me to?" The hooded man began yelling.

Murdoc removed the sack from his head and dropped it to the floor revealing a dark skinned bald headed twenty something year old with milky white eyes. The man looked around the room frantically looking over everybody. His eyes stopped on 2D as he studied the other man.

"What the fuck is up with him?"

"My eyes are all bloodied up n stuff cause of Muds over t'ere." He said pointing towards the Satanist.

"Shut up 2 dents."

"You're the mother fucker who brought me here, what do ya want. Minute you untie me I'm breaking your arms off and shoving them up your ass you greasy fuckin' prick."

Murdoc rolled his eyes.

"Wait a second is this who I tink it is ten?" Paula asked pointing to the angered man.

"Yeah it is lovely, Russel Hobbs the possessed hip hop drummer. I heard about him and decided he'd be perfect for our little group here."

2D looked from Paula to Russel then finally to Murdoc, his eyes went wide with realization.

"Yew kidnapped tis guy to be in our band, 'ow could yew do tat Mu'doc?"

He sounded bewildered almost like this was something completely out of the bassist nature. Paula only smiled and winked at the older man, he felt sick.

"Now will one of you fucking weird-os tell me what's going on here?" Russel asked sounding more confused than angry at this point.

"Genius over tere started a band, don't really got a name ye-"

"Gorillaz" Murdoc said as he glared at the younger girl, she rolled her eyes.

"Okay, Gorillaz….He said we needed a drummer t'en and went off, picked yer fat ass up, and now 'ere you are."

"I can't believe yew did dis, yer fuckin' insane. I don't' want no part in dis." 2D said shaking his head violently.

Murdoc walked up to the singer and smacked him across the face. He shot him another threatening look before turning his attention back to the bound man on the floor.

"Basically what the bird here was sayin' is we; I want you in my band as the drummer."

"You gonna untie me or keep me locked up in some fuckin' torture room or somethin'?"

The bassist gritted his teeth; the younger man smirked up at him.

"I'll untie ya, just gotta play nice."

"Yeah or else you gonna hit me like you do that kid with the blue hair over there….Why is your hair blue anyways?"

"He fell outta a tree house." Murdoc answered before the singer could even open his mouth.

"Okay then….you people are fucking weird."

"We knew tat already luv" Paula said smiling

"Do something worth while and untie our newest band mate." Murdoc said glaring at the guitarist.

She shot him a look, but followed his instructions.

Russel slowly stood to his feet, he towered over Murdoc and Paula by a good bit, but wasn't too much taller than 2D. He rubbed at his wrists looking at them for a second then looking around at the other people in the room.

"I'm Murdoc Niccals by the way, bassist, and creator of this band." The Satanist said smiling with pride.

Russel raised an eyebrow and shook his head looking at the older man like he was mentally off.

"The black eyed idiot over t'ere is 2D, the flake over there is Paula."

"What do you guys do in the band then?" Russel asked curiously

"I sing and I do keyboards too, Paula is our guitarist, she's real good at it too." He said smiling lovingly at the girl who just ignored him.

"Well tis is borin' I'm goin to my room." She announced before turning and leaving.

Murdoc really wished that she would just disappear, but she wasn't bad as a guitarist.

"So you guys live here, shit I thought this place was just some ghost story." The drummer said looking around looking mildly scared.

"yeah some old loon sold it ta me, screamin' about zombies and such."

"It's true too, I saw em the otha night, t'ey attacked me and everyfink. I tried to get Mu'doc to help me, but I don't fink he could hear me." The singer said looking over at the bassist.

Murdoc grabbed a bottle of whiskey up off the floor and began drinking from it.

"Yeah I heard ya mate, just didn't really give a fuck." He said shrugging.

"So yew really are haunted by yer dead friends and everyfink?" 2D asked as he studied the taller man's white eyes.

Russel nodded slowly giving a small smile to the singer.

"Yeah, Death came for them, but he left me….Left them with me, I don't know why, but it's like it isn't my time to part with them yet….It scared me at first, especially when I had the demon, but I think it's gone…I still feel something dark inside of my head though, it scares me….I don't know how to get rid of it without hurting my friends." He said lowering his head.

"Well tat's nice and all, I'm goin back to the Winnie. Y'know the rule; botha me and I bash ya Fuckin head in." Murdoc said as he turned and left the area.

He needed a rest; he'd just dragged a rather large man from a store to a car then from the car into his house. He knew that tomorrow morning they would make some demo tapes, send them to some labels, and a few other artists. They would sound great now that they had a urban legend in their band, their look, and sound would be perfect….Almost perfect, Paula tended to kill that perfect vibe, the way 2D looked at her, then the way she looked at Murdoc. He wanted to break the whiskey bottle over her hread.

He sat down in a rickety wooden chair and opened a bottle of beer once the whiskey was completely gone. A few more hours of drinking and then he would pass out, it sounded like a good plan. That was until the light knocking on the door.

"Wot the fuck do ya want?" He yelled angrily at whoever was bothering him.

It was probably dullard or ghost boy.

"Mu'doc I need ta talk to ya." The female voice called from the other side of the door.

He cringed at her voice; she wanted to be alone with him. He thought about just telling her to sod off, but opted instead to let her in even if it was against his better judgment. He got up and opened the door revealing the girl standing there in her black tank top, red jeans, and too much red lipstick. She always wore too much makeup, he hated it, and hell he just hated her. She walked inside looking around almost fascinated even though she'd spent weeks insulting his little home on wheels.

"Well wot ta fuck do ya want?" He asked feeling aggravated.

Her eyes fell on him and she smirked as she moved closer to him. He backed up until his back was against the bathroom door; she pressed her body tightly against his. She placed one hand firmly on his chest and looked up at him with that seductive grin.

"Yer a real bastard ya know….Nothin like D, he's so nice and gentle….Real gentleman actually, you ain't tat way t'ough…I like it….I know how ya feel about me." She whispered as she moved her hand slowly down his body.

He could feel himself tense, he felt like snapping her neck. He kept his mismatched eyes locked on her wondering if she was serious right now. He hated how she talked about 2D like all of his good qualities were obvious reasons to want to cheat on him; he wondered how many times she'd cheated on him in the past. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep this bitch in his band.

"Yeah ya noticed huh?" he asked trying to keep his tone flat.

"Mhm I bet ya like it rough, he always gets upset when I'm too rough wit him y'know…I know ya don't wanna hear tat kinda stuff about yer mate and all….When I first met ya I wanted to knock yer teeth in, but ya kinda grown on me…."

Her hand cupped his crotch and began rubbing. Usually when a woman touched him no matter how old or how ugly he would get aroused. This time he just felt like puking, he felt like stabbing her. He couldn't believe this tramp thought she had the right to touch him like that. He reached down grabbing her wrist tightly and jerking her hand away. Pain flashed across her face, but turned to annoyance.

"Get out"

"Wot?"

"Get out now, don't fuckin' touch me like tat." He said letting go of her and pushing her towards the door.

She walked out of the Winnie and looked up at him. The look of annoyance turned to one of amusement within seconds.

"You'll change ya mind, tey always do." She said winking then walking away.

Murdoc gritted his teeth and slammed the door shut.

"Stupid fuckin' slut, touching me like tat….I can't believe Stu is wit some piece of shit like her, god dammit." He growled kicking a wall hard enough to crack it and send pain shooting through his foot.

He cursed under his breath and went over collapsing on his bed staring up at the cracked ceiling. His head was throbbing and he could still feel where her hand had been on him, he hated what she'd said. He hated knowing all she was doing when she had sex was 2D was hurting him; he hated the idea of that rotted bitch fucking him at all. He needed to find a way to get her out of the band.


	16. Chapter 16

The recordings were going fine until three tracks in when Paula suddenly forgot how to play guitar. They'd be going along beautifully until the wretched girl would slip making a loud screeching sound echo from the guitar. It happened nearly every thirty seconds; Murdoc would generally shoot her a look to which she'd smile back. Russel sat behind his drum kit shaking his head sadly with every frantic note the girl hit. The Satanist put his bass down on the floor and folded his arms across his chest as he glared at the young woman. 2D backed away from the microphone and looked down at his girlfriend with a look of worry and concern.

"Yew al'ight luv?"

She rolled his eyes at him and waved her hand dismissively.

"Yeah, yeah I'm a'light stop wor'yin so much Stu."

"Ya 'ight tat sounded completely fuckin' fine. Wot the fuck do ya think yer doin?" Murdoc yelled feeling two seconds away from strangling her.

2D shot the bassist a look like he was silently warning him to back off.

"Don't ya dare look at me like tat." He growled pointing a finger at the singer.

"Well ya shouldn' be yellin at 'er tat way Mudz, she's doin te best tat she can ya know." He said wrapping his arm around the guitarist waist.

Murdoc snarled as he looked at the two. Paula grinned at him; she probably thought he wanted her. Not in a million fucking years

"Well if ya girl t'ere woul' stop fuckin' up me music ten I wouldn't be yellin at her."

"Not my faul' tat guitar is shit." She said moving away from the vocalist who looked at her sadly.

"Yew said tat about the past five guitars ya stupid cow."

2D stepped forward glaring angrily down at the bassist.

"Now ya leave 'er alone al'ight Mu'doc, she's pa't of ta band and me gi'lfriend."

"I don' fucking care if she's ya girlfriend you moron. She can't get one stupid song right."

"She's a good guita'ist"

"Get outta my face you fuckin' idiot."

He pulled his fist back ready to hit the younger man. A hand wrapped firmly around his wrist jerking him backwards almost to the ground. He looked up to see Russel standing behind him holding his arm tightly.

"Enough I'm sick of seeing you beat D up, I've only been here for two weeks and all you've done is hit the poor kid. Yeah his girl isn't a great guitarist, she was doing fine until lately, but that might be because we all need a break. Now let's just go relax for a bit then try this again later, alright?" Russel asked as he looked from the still seething bassist to the sadly confused singer.

"Fine, now let me te fuck go you fat fuckin' idiot." Murdoc said trying to jerk away from the younger man.

Russel let him go, he gave him one more annoyed look then looked at 2D giving a small smile.

"Good, now I'm goin' to go get something to eat. D wanna join me?"

The singer smiled and nodded.

"How about you two?" he asked looking from the guitarist and bassist who both stood with their arms crossed over their chests.

"No" Paula replied shaking her head.

Murdoc just growled in response.

Russel walked out of the room with 2D right behind him which left them alone again. Murdoc avoided the woman, he hated her, he hated last time that they were alone. Ever since that happened she made everything into a show when she was with 2D. Anytime they'd be in a room together she would grope on the singer or make out with him, but her eyes were on Murdoc the entire time. He swore that Russel had noticed the exchanges and the way the girl would try and brush against the older man when she had no real reason to. He knew the drummer probably thought this was all his fault, he'd noticed the almost constant flow of women going back with Murdoc every other day.

He grabbed his bass and sat down on the floor and began playing different songs that came into his head. He could feel her staring at him, he hated it. He wanted her to stop staring; he wanted her to leave 2D, and Kong all together. He needed a guitarist, but of lately she seemed pretty damn close to worthless. He tried to think of the last time he'd really talked to the vocalist, they hadn't had a real conversation in ages. He was pretty sure the last time had been back in England before Paula came back into everything.

He was pretty sure the last time they'd really talked was after they'd had sex for what seemed like the hundredth time. He'd had the blue haired man promise him that he would be the only man he'd ever have sex with, after that the singer had curled up at his side with his face buried against his chest. 2D had started talking about his childhood, about how he'd be picked on sometimes for how slow he was, Murdoc talked about how he'd been beaten on for looking weird. They'd spent a good while talking about their childhood memories then began talking about life goals. It'd been nice; just laying on the worn out mattress holding onto the vocalist while they talked about anything. He'd never been able to do that with another human being. He always had a small fear in the back of his head that he'd never be able to really talk to somebody, care for somebody, and be nice to somebody. He knew that his mental disorder caused a lot of blind and randomly triggered rage, but 2D had soothed it a bit….of course that was until Paula came back.

He let his mess of hair fall over his eyes as he sat awkwardly bent over the bass. His beautiful flying V, the one he'd promised his soul for, the soul he would give away when the time came….Maybe

"Ya real good at tat y'know?" The female voice said from beside him.

He could feel her leg brush against his and jerked away from her.

"C'mon Mu'doc, I can' stop thinkin' about yew….Even when I'm with D I'm thinkin' about you, how much betta you would be." She said placing a hand on his inner thigh.

He felt his heart tightening in his chest as he sat his bass down on the floor in front of him. He turned facing the young woman who stared at him with fascination. He placed a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her towards him crashing her lips into his. She kissed back eagerly, hard as her hands slipped up under his shirt. Her nails dragged down his flesh making him groan into her mouth, she tasted horrible. Her hands felt disgusting on his skin, fucking hell why was he doing this?

'What's the matter with me? What's the matter with me?...'


	17. Chapter 17

He hated himself, why was he doing this? Why was he in this wretched bathroom stall with his repulsive woman?

Paula's claw like nails continued digging into his back leaving welts in their wake. Her lips were pressed against his neck and he felt teeth digging into his flesh. Her body was hot all around him, he hated this feeling, and he hated all of it. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to think away from there, away from her. He tried thinking about something else to keep himself aroused; she didn't even seem to notice. He thought about 2D, about the soft moans and whimpers he would make when they'd had sex, the way his spiked blue hair would stick to his face. He tried to focus in on every sound and the feeling, anything to make him forget about the woman he was currently having sex with.

He felt fingers wrapping around his throat, thick, and strong. He was pulled away and thrown back down onto the filth coated ground. He looked up to see Russel standing there glaring down at him with his fists clenched at his sides. In no time he had the bassist up on his feet and pinned back against a wall.

"What the fuck do ya think you're doing, huh? I knew you were a fucking prick, but I never thought you'd sleep with your best friend's girl." He growled angrily as he stood over the older man.

Murdoc felt himself shaking, he didn't even care that he was nearly naked and soaked in sweat. He was scared shitless of the damage the larger man could cause him especially in this state of rage.

"So tell me what the fuck is it with you, you just don't give a shit about anybody but yourself or you just like hurting the kid?"

"I-I…It's none of yer fuckin' business you fat fucking bitch." He screamed angrily up at the younger man.

With that Russel punched him in the face, he could feel and hear his nose breaking with the impact, his head knocked back against the wall. He slid down to the ground, his face was throbbing, he put his fingers lightly against his nose and pulled away to see them soaked with blood. He didn't even look up at the drummer; he was ashamed, and embarrassed. He heard heels clicking on the tile and knew that Paula was leaving the room before anybody could remember that she was even there.

"You get your fuckin' ass cleaned up while I go tell 2D." Russel said, his voice was even, threatening.

Murdoc's eyes widened, he shakily stood to his feet and stumbled forward nearly falling down. He tucked himself back into his jeans and wiping some of the blood away from his face with the back of his hand.

"Wait, no, no way you aren't gonna tell him. I'll tell him okay?"

Russel turned back glaring down at the older man for a minute before shaking his head slowly.

"No man I'm doin this, you already did enough to the poor guy. When I'm done then you can talk to him."

He watched as the drummer left the room, he was all alone now. He went over to the sink gripping to the sides of it tightly mostly to keep himself from falling. His body shook with fear and from the force of being knocked down by the larger man. He looked in the mirror to see his nose was more crooked than it had been before, slightly swollen, and soaked in blood. He turned the water on and began rubbing at his face not caring about the stinging pain. He looked back at his reflection to see his eyes watering and new blood slowly dripping from his nose; he'd get it when it completely stopped. He stood there for awhile and stared at the stall, stall number three.

Murdoc had taken her to the generally abandoned restroom knowing that he was the only one to use it. The place was coated in grime and the smell actually battled against the foul stench of hell. He figured that nobody would look for them and nobody would dare go into these bathrooms. He could have taken her to his Winnebago, but she wasn't worthy of that. Plus somebody would have seen them, would have asked why they were together, why her hair was messed, and his neck was bruised. He hadn't wanted to answer those things, he didn't know what he expected, really what was going to happen?

What would have happened after they shagged, he couldn't just throw her out of the band. He couldn't have told 2D that he'd just had sex with her, he would have had sex with a woman he couldn't stand because of….he didn't know.

He made his way out of the restroom and down the hallway towards 2D's room. He made his way slowly, but stopped when he heard screaming. He took a deep breath and kept walking until he stood before the closed door. He slowly cracked it open and looked inside; Russel was nowhere to be seen, all he could see was 2D sitting in the middle of his bed with his phone in hand screaming into it angrily as tears poured down his cheeks.

"Fock you, bot' of yew…Yer outta te band, no I don' wanna fuckin' talk abou' it. I loved yew, how could ya do tis to me, yew nevah loved me. Nobody fuckin' loves me….Fo….Jus'….Stop it Paula, jus' stop, just sod off you stupid slut. Tat's all yew are is a worthless fuckin' whore." 2D screamed before throwing the phone across the room, it hit the wall hard and shattered.

Murdoc felt himself tense; the singer now had his knees pulled up against himself and his head bowed. His body shook violently with every painful sob; it kind of reminded him of those times in the hospital. Except now he couldn't hold him or tell him that it was alright, he was part of the reason the singer was in such in a horrid state. He'd seen 2D cry many times before especially when he'd yell at him too much or punch him far too hard, but those things hadn't really bothered him much. He didn't care if he made him cry through some torment or physical pain, but this….This was something completely different.

He took a deep breath and walked into the room, the singer never noticed him.

"D?" He asked his voice soft.

The boy stopped shaking but never turned his attention to him.

"Go away." He said, his voice was firm, angry.

"C'mon y'know she was a flake, she wasn't no good for ya. Yew can do much betta t'an her, ya know that. Besides she was depressingly ugly and dumber than all get out, you don' need her."

"Shut up, ju't shut up…Yew…." The blue haired man lifted his head turning his attention fully on the bassist.

He looked pissed off, an emotion Murdoc had never seen on the singer before.

"I fockin' 'ate yew, I t'ought that yew cared about me, tat yew would neva do nothin' like dis ta me! I t'ought I coul' trust you, but no….Yew….I fucking hate you, I don' wanna see you, I fuckin' loved her, and yew fuckin' ruined it fer me. Yew went and….Jus'…" He trailed off bowing his head, he ran his fingers through the tangled blue locks gripping tightly and yanking.

Murdoc didn't know what to do anymore, he could still feel blood running down his face, but he didn't care. Part of him wanted to make the younger man stop pulling at his hair, to calm down, but he couldn't do it. There wasn't anything he could say to him, anything he'd said so far had only pissed him off more.

"I'm….It was fer the best mate, she wasn't any good for you or ta band."

2D looked up at him glaring, he was shaking again. He stood up from the bed and walked up to the older man now only standing a couple of inches away from him.

"Don' call me tat, neva call me tat again, I'm not yer mate, I'm nothin' to yew. Yer nothin' but a disgustin', ugly, old fuckin' bastard. You don't love nobody, but yerself, you don' care about me, just ya stupid fuckin' band and yer booze. You're nothin' but a worthless piece of shit, get outta here, I don't wanna talk to ya no more." The younger man screamed as more tears ran down his cheeks.

Murdoc could only stand there taking in what he was hearing. He didn't have anything to say and he made no move to leave. The singer growled angrily, he placed his hands firmly against Murdoc's chest roughly shoving him back against a wall causing several frames to fall and crash to the floor. His eyes widened as he looked up at the younger man, 2D had never dominated over him before. Generally Murdoc scared him to death, but right now nothing scared him, or maybe everything did.

"Don' fuckin' come into my room, eva again." With that he backed away and stalked back over to his bed.

The Satanist watched as the blue haired man climbed onto the bed curling up into a small ball on his side. The sobs started again, this time Murdoc slipped out the door making his way quickly out to the parking garage. He didn't want to deal with Russel again; he just wanted to be back with his alcohol supply, and some of the drugs he'd stolen from 2D over the past few months. He would take an entire damned bottle if it would kill his emotions. He shuddered thinking about the rage he'd seen on the singer's features, the way his voice shook, his body….He had been falling apart, losing whatever was left of that little mind of his. Murdoc had driven him over that edge, he wondered how long it'd take for him to come back, and pretend nothing ever happened.


	18. Chapter 18

It'd been a week since Murdoc last saw the singer, in his mind a week had to be long enough for the boy to get over his cheating girlfriend. Murdoc had been able to drown a good bit of his guilt with alcohol and one night stands, sometimes he would play bass, and then sometimes he would just lie in his bed and think about everything. He'd wonder what would have happened if Paula had never dumped him in the first place, what if she'd just never came back after the first break up, and did he even really want to know? Murdoc didn't do relationships; he'd try them every now and again. Generally the girl would turn out to be out of her mind or he would get bored of her love and affection, he hated that. He hated he could see those things in 2D's face without them even being in a relationship. This wasn't a relationship and it was hard to believe it was even a friendship, but now it really was nothing.

He made his way through the house with his mind set on screaming at the younger man. He was angry mostly at himself, but also at the blue haired man for staying away for so long. Some part of him had to have known his girl was like that.

"Where do you think you're going?" Russel asked before the Satanist could even start down the hallway.

He could feel his anger rising further as he turned around to stare at the larger man.

"Where the fuck do ya tink I'm goin' to, I'm gonna tell dullard ta stop bein' such a fuckin' girl over tis whole thing."

"No, you aren't talking to him, last time you talked to him you just made it worse. The kid lost his girlfriend because of you and you screaming at him won't make it better."

Murdoc rolled his eyes and dug his jagged nails into the palms of his hands. It wasn't like he would hit the drummer; he wouldn't dare do something like that. The man towered over him like a skyscraper, hitting him would probably be the last thing he'd ever do in his lifetime.

"Fine t'en I'll just go have a nice little chat wit him."

"No"

"Why the bloody hell not?" The bassist screamed feeling frustrated beyond words.

"He doesn't want to see you, not for awhile anyways. He needs more time to himself, I've been talking to him every now and again when I take him food. He hasn't come out and eaten for a while now, he's really upset about what you did to him man. He trusted you and he really loved that girl, I hated her as much as you did, but still it wasn't a right thing to do…What the fuck were you thinking anyways?"

"I was t'inkin' that I had some trashy girl climbin' all over me tat I wanted outta my fuckin' band."

The drummer only shook his head silently showing his disapproval.

"How about we just focus on finding a new guitarist." Russel said in hopes of keeping the older man away from 2D.

Murdoc felt the anger quickly fade away, he took a seat in the chair across from the younger man. They really did need a guitarist; they were in a city full of want to be musicians who would grab at any opportunity. The tracks they had recorded had already been sent to a few different companies and various artists they hoped would accept and if they didn't Murdoc would just have to pressure one or more into making a deal.

"I'll put some ads out, just call some idiots out 'ere to Kong. See if any of 'em don't suck too bad."

He hated having to find a new guitarist; he hated having to look again. He knew his standards, that anything even a little bit less than perfect would be rejected. Though when he thought about it the new band auditions would be a good excuse to get faceache out of his room even if it was just for a few hours…


	19. Chapter 19

Great another hippie, Murdoc placed his face in his hands as the long haired twenty something year old in his vest, bell bottoms, and sandals stood before them strumming at his guitar. The sounds that the guitar made were God awful, but the player seemed far too stoned to even notice. Murdoc had the sudden urge to grab a fist full of his too long brown hair and yank it until it all came out. He looked over shooting Del a look silently signaling him to get rid of the latest failure.

The ghost looked just as annoyed as he did as he moved in grabbing hold of the guitarist and tossing him out the front door.

"Man that was fuckin' bad, all these mother fuckers are bad actually." He said as he went back to his spot next to Russel who was currently out of it.

"Next!" Murdoc screamed

He hated this; he hadn't done auditions for a very long time. He never liked them, after the first hour everybody sounded God awful. There had been two or three that were decent, but the way that they looked made him sick to his stomach, some of them he had the feeling would try and take the band from him. He didn't like that idea; his paranoid side told him his band mates would go along too willingly with that.

A tall slender girl came into the room holding a guitar that looked like she had just bought it. The minute she hit the first chord his suspicion was confirmed; she'd never played in her life, she just bought the damned thing maybe twenty minutes ago, and thought she could fake her way into a band by wearing too much black and trying to appear 'deep'.

Murdoc shoved away from the table and stormed out of the room. He waited for Del to yell after him, but the ghost didn't make a sound. He knew he could leave him in charge of tossing out the worthless idiots trying to worm their way into Murdoc's band. He also knew that while Russel was out he had the perfect opportunity to try and force 2D out of his room.

He paused outside of the singer's room thinking back to the last time he'd been in there. How hard he had been crying, how violently his body had been shaking, and the hateful tone his voice had held. He felt chills as he thought back on it, about the emotion, emotions he'd never seen come from the lanky man. He was usually just sad or too fucking happy, Murdoc couldn't stand either emotion, but they were preferred over the darkened one he'd had that day.

This was stupid; he just needed the idiot for a few hours. After that he could go back to his room and cry some more.

He slowly pushed the door open to reveal the singer lying on his bed staring up blankly at the ceiling. Somehow he looked thinner and paler than he usually did, he almost looked dead actually. Any rage he had before was completely gone leaving him lifeless at this point. The bassist made his way over to the bed and leaned over the younger man waiting to be noticed.

"Wot do ya want, I told yew not ta talk ta me no more." 2D said, his voice came out scratchy and weak.

"Ya look like shit, now I got a ton of talentless guitarist auditionin' out there. If I gotta sit through that shit with Russel and Del then you do too." He growled as he pulled at the singer's arm.

2D jerked his arm away and glared up at the older man. He slowly moved into a sitting position letting his long legs dangling over the side of the bed.

"No" He whispered, his voice came out hollow.

"What, what do you mean no?"

"I'm not doin' it Mu'doc, I can't do t'is anymore. All ya do is scream at me an' beat me up all da time and den ya go and….I just….I can't do it no more, I'm done." He said shaking his head slowly.

He wasn't sure if he was ready to strangle him or have a complete mental breakdown.

"Ya better not be sayin' what I think yer saying." He said trying to sound threatening.

The singer stood up and looked at him sadly.

"I'm leavin' te band, goin' back to my mum and dad's house. I can't take tis anymore."

"Wot I give yew a band, a place ta live, and ya rather go back to England and wot…Work at tat stupid fuckin' carnival, get paid shit, and have sex with more girls who will just shag the first guy they see?"

"Yew 'ad no right ta do tat to me, I really did love her…..I rather do anyfink than be around you." He said bitterly before leaving the room.

Murdoc ran after him, he caught him half way through the hall way grabbing him and slamming him back against a wall.

"Yew ain't goin anywhere, tis is my band, yew owe me ya fuckin' idiot." He growled angrily at the younger man.

He still looked lifeless; he was probably on more of his stupid pain pills. Those things always seemed to make him more off in the head than usual.

"Let go of me, I told ya tat I'm leavin' and tat's it." He said as he tried to get out of the older man's grip.

"Hey Murdoc you got a package." Russel yelled from the rec room.

The Satanist growled as he let go of the vocalist, he didn't say anything else to him. He just started making his way back to the current audition room, he assumed the drummer had woken up, and sent all of the talentless idiots back to their homes. He could feel 2D behind him, he had the minor urge to turn around and punch him in the face, but resisted. At least he'd gotten the kid out of his room even if he was trying to leave the band; there was no way that he would leave. He was like a stupid little puppy dog, he couldn't be away long at all.

"Wot the fuck is it fat arse?" He asked as he looked over the large FedEx crate that sat in the middle of the room.

Russel shot him an angered look before looking at 2D.

"Hey D, good to see you man."

"Hey Russ" He replied sadly.

Murdoc looked over the box and noticed all of the stickers were in what he sure was Japanese.

"Japan, wot te fuck, who ordered this?" He asked as he turned looking at his two band mates.

"I didn't, I been in me room all tis time."

"Hey man I don't order shit from the internet….Besides I don't touch our computer, last time I did I got all these sick porn sites…Man you got some real fucking issues."

"Shuddup and open the fuckin' box."

"I ain't your fucking help; it's probably some more of your sick shit." Russel said crossing his arms over his chest.

"Bloody hell just open te Fuckin box."

Russel sighed heavily before leaving for the kitchen, a few minutes later he returned carrying a crowbar. He shot the bassist a look before going to work on tearing the large crate apart. The front crashed onto the gray carpeted floor and more papers fell out. They stood around the box looking at it, but all they could see was darkness. 2D was the only one to move closer to the entrance, they watched as the singer leaned his head inside looking around for whatever had been delivered to their home. A few seconds later he screamed and fell back to the ground, his black eyes wide.

"T'ere's a girl in tere, a little girl." He cried out looking confused and horrified.

Russel looked at Murdoc with shock and disgust.

"Man I fuckin' knew you were messed up, but seriously?"

"Yew actually t'ink I would do somethin' like tat, wot t'e fuck do ya think I am some kind of sick pervert?" He asked feeling pissed and slightly offended.

"That is the dumbest ass thing you have ever asked me."

They turned their attention back to the crate when they heard mumbling. A young girl slowly stepped into the light taking in her surroundings with fear and curiosity. She appeared to be around ten years of age at the oldest, her hair was a mix of blue and black and just came to her shoulders, she wore a white shirt, and white pants. She studied the three men for awhile like she didn't know how to react. Murdoc was still trying to get past the fact his singer threatened to quick and now they had a small Japanese girl in their house. The girl turned her full attention on 2D and her eyes widened in fear, she ran back into the box and began screaming sometime in Japanese. Murdoc swore that somewhere in there he could understand the word demon. The singer only looked extremely confused.

"Wot did I do, she's t'e one in te box, why she seem scared of me for?" He asked sounding almost hurt.

"Yew don't got any eyes you fuckin' moron."

2D looked up at him like the realization just now hit him.

"Oh…Right….I'll go get 'er ten." He said as he stood to his feet and made his way back into the crate.

They heard a high pitched cry then a few cuss words as 2D was thrown from the box and the young girl landed on top of him with one hand firmly around his throat and the other pulled back in a fist ready to hit the man she thought was some demon trying to kill her. Murdoc leaned back against the wall lighting a cigarette as he watched the situation unfold. He didn't know why a small girl had been delivered to their house, but it was keeping him amused for the mean time. He could feel Russel staring at him with strong disapproval and gave him the finger.

"You're a fucking prick" He mumbled as he went over pulling the small child off of the vocalist.

He held her in the air back the back of her shirt. She continued kicking and screaming in her language, she looked at the large man holding her with that same look of fear and rage. 2D stood to the ground and looked closely at the small girl who turned to him and growled. Murdoc laughed.

"Hey faceache she likes you as much as I do."

Murdoc walked over to the crate and noticed a red piece of paper at the entrance of the box. It was one of the flyers he had made for the band auditions; he held the paper up so his band mates could see it. They looked at each other in confusion then back to the young girl who had finally stopped fighting and just dangled in the air with her arms folded across her chest looking frustrated.

"She's our new guitarist?" 2D asked sounding painfully confused.

"No way she's, wot ten?"

"This is weird man, you ordered a little kid off the internet to play guitar for us?"

"Will ya stop thinkin' I'm ordering Japanese kids off of the bloody internet?" Murdoc yelled angrily.

The girl turned her attention to the angry man and tilted her head in curiosity.

"I fink she might like yew Mu'doc, she'd be te only one." 2D said mumbling the last part.

Russel laughed; Murdoc slapped him in the face. The action caused the young girl to begin screaming again except this time at the bassist.

"I don't think she liked you doing that."

"Too fuckin' bad, he's my singer I can do whatever I fuckin' want to him."

"Was yer singer, not no more."

"Wait, what, you're leaving D….Dammit Murdoc what did you do to him this time, I told you not to fucking talk to him anymore." The drummer yelled angrily.

"I'm not yer fuckin' kid so stop treatin me tat way you fucking lard. I did while yew were all out of it, he already decided to leave before that."

"First you hit him with a car, then you throw him through a windshield, you knock two of his teeth out…"

"Three I believe" Murdoc corrected smiling proudly.

"Look you really need to stop messing with the kid; it's really fucking with his head."

The bassist looked at 2D who appeared to not have heard a word they had said. He was too busy studying the young girl who was staring at him with just as much curiosity. She reached out grabbing at his hair with her small hands, he leaned his head down so she could look through it more thoroughly. She seemed pretty fascinated by the light blue.

"Ya like it? It's really like tat ya know." He said sounding proud.

He stood up straight and the girl leaned in studying his blackened eyes. She reached out touching along his face like she was checking to make sure that he was a human being and not some demonic fiend that wanted her dead. She smiled shyly then looked back at Russel.

"He's al'ight, his eyes are just tat way cause he's possessed by his friends, tat's all." 2D tried explaining to the little girl.

Russel sat her back down on the floor, this time she didn't attack or run. She just stood there looking up at the three men.

"I don't think she understands anything we're saying D."

"Hey sounds like you." Murdoc said bitterly.

"Shuddup Mu'doc"

2D sat down in front of the small child and they continued staring at each other. Murdoc was beginning to lose interest; he took another drag from his cigarette and looked around the room.

"She seems pretty fuckin' useless to me. She's a kid, can't even speak a word of fuckin' English. Wot good would she be in my band?"

"Wait yew ain't getting rid of her, I can teach 'er English and she gotta play guitar if she came wit tat flyer of yers." The singer began rambling as he looked up pleadingly at the bass player.

"Fuck, fine, Russ go get a guitar from the studio."

"Man fuck you, I'm not your damn man servant."

"Just do it you possessed fucking fat arse."

"I should just bash you with this damn crowbar." Russel said before leaving the room.

Now it was only the three of them, he considered talking to 2D about what he'd been saying earlier. Actually he wanted to talk to him about a lot of things, but he was beginning to sober up. He really didn't want to talk to the singer about anything if it meant he'd be doing it sober with all of his feelings intact. He watched the taller man sitting on the floor trying to teach the young girl some English words. He really wasn't into the idea of taking care of a little kid, he hated children. He couldn't stand them when he could understand them and he was pretty sure a little kid screaming in a language he couldn't understand would only be worse.

Finally Russel returned with a red guitar in hand. When the small girl saw it her eyes lit up and she began jumping up and down grabbing for the instrument. The drummer handed it to her and within a minute she began playing it beautifully. The three men stood there staring down at the little girl who played the guitar better than any professional they had seen in their lifetimes. He really hated the idea of taking care of a kid, but his band desperately need a guitarist, and this was the only time that day he didn't feel like stabbing his ear drums.

The girl stopped playing when she noticed them all staring at her. She sat the guitar down next to her and looked around worried.

"Holy-"

"Shit" 2D finished

"There's no way in hell you're going to tell me we can't let her stay now." Russel said as he looked over at the Satanist.

"She can stay, but we gotta get a translator fer her…What the fuck is her name anyways?"

"Hey luv wot would yer name be?" 2D asked looking at the young girl.

She tilted her head to the side as she tried to comprehend the question.

"Yer name, yew, wot are yew called?"

She continued staring blankly.

"I'm 2D" The singer said pointing to himself.

She stared a bit longer before realizing what he meant.

"Two….T-two….D….2D" She finally managed out as she pointed at the older man smiling.

The singer smiled and nodded his head.

"Good, good, and tat's Murdoc." He said pointing at the bassist who rolled his eyes.

He was bored as hell by this point, they solved the guitarist problem at least they had that over with.

"Mu-Mur….Murdoc…..Murdoc" She repeated again as she stared up at the older man.

He wanted to say that she looked as dumbly innocent as the dullard did, but he couldn't. The way she'd been ready to fight and something about her eyes told him that there was something darker to the little girl. It could have just been his paranoia talking, but he had the strangest feeling that she wasn't just some random child who had been abandoned by her parents.

"Tat's Russel"

"Ru-Russ-Russel"

"Good, good, and yew are?"

She looked confused again, she opened her mouth a few times trying to say something, but nothing came out for awhile.

"No-Noo-Noodle….Noodle, Noodle" She repeated as a smile spread across her face.

2D tilted his head as he looked at her.

"Yer name is Noodle, tat's an odd name fer a little girl."

"I doubt tat's her name faceache, just a stupid word she knows."

"Noodle, Noodle"

"Great now she won't stop sayin' it, good job dullard."

"She'll stop when she wants to, so yer name is Noodle" He said pointing to the young girl.

She nodded her head slowly in reply.

"Well this is boring as shit, I'm goin back to the Winnie to get drunk. I'll see you lot in the morning, ya bother me and I kick yer ass. 2D if tat kid comes near me I'm breakin' some more of yer teeth." Murdoc said before quickly leaving to the parking garage.

He could tell by the way the blue haired man had acted with the kid that he wasn't going to leave anymore. She was becoming quickly attached to him, probably because of his brightly colored hair and lack of real eyes. Little kids always liked strange looking shit, there was no way that he would leave the band….Not like Murdoc thought he was really going to leave anyways, 2D was too idiotic to be able to make it on his own, he'd always need the Satanist.


	20. Chapter 20

Murdoc woke up with a throbbing headache like he generally did after a long night of drinking followed by passing out. He got out of bed and managed to pull on his jeans from yesterday before stumbling out into the lot then into the house. He knew that most likely everybody was still asleep, he hoped so anyways. He didn't think he could handle hearing the little girl ramble on in Japanese this early in the morning. When he came to 2D's door he stopped and peeked inside; the singer was curled up with the little kid against him. They looked happy, he hated admitted the small girl was kind of…adorable; he also hated admitting he felt something for the singer for a moment there. He closed the door and quickly made his way to the kitchen. He needed more alcohol and more cigarettes; he hated those feelings of caring and kindness. He used to crave them when they would come, especially towards 2D, but that was back in England in another time. As far as he knew Russel didn't know about those times and if the singer had told him about them then Murdoc was pretty sure he'd break the singer's neck.

"Hey Muds" The drummer said trying his best to sound happy.

The Satanist only growled back in reply as he grabbed a fresh bottle of whiskey from the cabinet then flopped down in a wooden chair kicking his feet up on the table just a few inches away from the plate the drummer was eating from.

"How many hours do you spend sober?"

"None"

"So you think D is gonna stay in the band?"

Murdoc looked at the bigger man for a second then back to the bottle he held tightly in his hand like somebody would take it from him.

"Of course he is, idiot wouldn't last two seconds away from here."

"You really need to stop beating on him so much; even Del thinks you're going to run him off."

He glared at the drummer, he was angry at the statement mostly because it was one he knew held truth to it.

"I don't beat on him tat fuckin' hard, not like he's smart enough ta care anyways." He said smirking to himself as he took another long drink.

"That's what I'm talking about, man I don't even know why he's nice to you in the first place."

"He's stupid, tat's why." Murdoc mumbled hoping to drop the topic.

He heard walking near by and knew that one or both of them were awake. A minute later the small girl came into the kitchen and hopped up on the counter grabbing a couple of strips of bacon shoving them into her mouth. 2D came in and sat down across from Murdoc, but never looked at the older man.

"Hey D I was thinking about taking Noodle out shopping today and finding some stuff so she can have a room of her own, you wanna come with us?"

Murdoc knew what he was doing, why did he act like if they were left alone for just one second the singer would end up crying. It was pathetic, he could be alone with 2D and not hurt him, it was something that rarely happened, but it could happen….Actually he kind of did want to have a real talk to him for the first time in ages, but by the time he would be half way through his bottle the feeling would be gone.

"He ain't goin anywhere, I need 'im here wit me today."

"What for?" Russel asked sounding annoyed.

"Vocal tracking, I also need ya to hurry wit yer decorating and girly shit so te kid over t'ere can do some guitar for our record."

"Do you want to hang around here?" Russel asked looking at the blue haired man.

2D smiled sadly and nodded.

"Sure, I'll stay, don't worry I'll be al'ight here with Mu'doc."

He wasn't sure which of the two he wanted to hit more. The bassist looked back over to the counter to see Noodle now eating pancakes; he wondered when the last time she ate was. He kind of felt bad thinking about how long she had been inside of that box going from planes and ships and vehicles. He hated the idea of somebody doing that to a kid, it made him think of his childhood, and all of the neglect. If they ever found the girl's parents he had the feeling he would punch them for thinking it's okay to ship their daughter off to a strange country so she could join a band, live with some older men….It really was disgusting when he let himself think about it long enough. Enough thinking, he needed to drink more, he was still feeling things. He looked over at 2D realizing he'd spent most of the time at the table with his head bowed. He looked pretty when he was this sad, but not the usual kind….He just seemed extremely broken, all because of Murdoc and his lack of self control….He wanted to punch him just for making him feel guilty. He hated guilt; it was an emotion for those that were weak. The younger man had made him feel it more times than he was willing to count.

"I think we're going to get going, I'll try to get back by lunch. Come on baby girl let's go get you some stuff for your new room." Russel said as he helped the girl off of the counter and onto his back.

She wrapped her arms around his neck holding on tightly, Murdoc watched as the two left. The moment the door shut behind them everything felt too quiet, too tense, and too strange. He got up from the table and made his way to the recording room, he really didn't give a shit if the singer followed him there or not. He needed away from him; it was strange how before he wanted to see him, but now he just wanted him to fuck off.

Murdoc picked his bass up off of the ground and began playing different notes on it. He played through songs they had recorded and ones that he was still in the process of making. Some of them were harsh and then others sounded rather depressing. He could feel the vocalist staring at him, he wondered if he was just staring because he was scared to do anything else, or if he was actually interested in the older man's playing.

"So yew stayin' in te band now cause of the kid or are ya still leaving?" Murdoc asked never looking up from what he was doing.

"I-I'm stayin, but only cause t'is is wot I wanna do and I really like Russ and Noodle is real adorable, I'm real good wit kids so yew don't gotta worry about her or nofink."

"You don't even got kids dullard, wot te hell do yew know about em?"

"More t'an you do."

He looked up at the bitter remark; the singer shrunk back and hung his head.

"Ya still pissed off at me about….Erm…Y'know" He said trying to avoid saying it.

There was silence for awhile and he wondered if the blue haired man was even in the room anymore.

"No….I…I was neva really angry at yew anyways….Just…I feel, I still feel hurt y'know…Yew were supposed ta be my mate and t'en you….Wit her…Just it hurt y'know, thinkin' yew could do tat to me hurt more than her doin' wot she did…"

"You said you hate me, can't say wot you don't mean kid." Murdoc replied ignoring everything 2D had said.

He heard it, but he didn't really want to. He didn't want to acknowledge how much pain he caused him. He didn't like thinking about those hurt looks he gave him constantly, he really had hoped the younger man was so stupid that he'd just forget all about it.

"I really did wanna 'ate yew, but I couldn' do it….I care about yew too much ta hate you, but t'en I started hatin' myself cause I couldn't…..I couldn' do it Muds, but I really want to….Yer always hurtin' me and tat really hurt me and I still couldn't hate you….I just wanted ta know why yew did it."

Murdoc took a deep breath and shook his head letting more of his hair fall over his eyes.

"I don't know….She kept touchin' on me all ta time and….I was gonna tell you, ever since te hospital that girl of yers just kept on lookin' at me and comin' onto me sayin stuff to me…I was gonna tell ya, but figured you'd be too fuckin' stupid to get it…So I just went fer it, I don't know why….Not like I wanted her, gross bird….It didn't mean anything D." He said trying to dismiss the whole thing.

"I woulda believed yew, yer my best mate, yew should have told me instead of doin' wot yew did." He said still sounding hurt.

Murdoc stopped playing and sat the bass down on the floor. He looked at the singer wondering if there was anything else that he wanted to say to him. He took another long drink from his bottle and decided that he was done feeling things, especially guilt, and the constant urge to kiss him.

"Come on dullard time fer vocal tracks." He said turning away from the taller man.

2D didn't try to say anything else he only did what he was told. They went over a few of the songs they had already mostly completed then worked on a few new ones they had been working on for the past few months. He loved listening to the sound of the younger man's voice how broken or angry it could sound; he loved how intense he was when he was singing. He wondered just how long he could drown out his feelings towards the younger man, they weren't exactly romantic….That was something he would never be capable of, but he did like the thought of getting back to where they had started before going to Kong.


	21. Chapter 21

Murdoc walked into the kitchen to see the blue haired singer seated in a chair while Noodle sat on the table in front of him with her legs dangling over the edge kicking slowly back and forth.

"Al'ight now let's try another word, shall we?"

The small girl tilted her head to the side in confusion for a moment before nodding slowly. They really did need a translator, he knew Russel wasn't looking; he'd spent the past three days getting the small child's room ready, and sending out their demo tapes that had been completed. The bassist had to admit he was kind of afraid to ask the drummer for anything else after seeing just how on edge he had been lately, so most likely he'd set to work on it himself, like everything else.

"She don't understand one fing ya sayin' to her." Murdoc said mostly to let them know he was in the room.

The girl looked over at him smiling and waving; she said something in Japanese and bowed her head. Murdoc smiled back, 2D only looked at with him slight annoyance.

"She knows some words, like 'hi' and 'food'….Not much else t'ough." He said scratching at the side of his head.

He continued looking at the singer and thinking over the last time they had talked. He hadn't said much, 2D had been the one explaining how hurt he felt by everything, and confused. Murdoc hated that he hadn't said anything back, hadn't really shown any emotion. He'd shrugged the entire conversation off like it had been no big deal, like small talk. He would talk to him now, but Noodle was there….She didn't understand a damned word of English though….He still didn't want her around just in case he felt the urge to punch the younger man. He noticed the Japanese girl tended to get angry when the Satanist would hit the dullard.

"Hey D ya think yew could get girlie there outta the room, I need ta talk to yew."

The singer stared up at him blankly for a moment like he had to really consider it. Anytime they were left alone it didn't go over too well, it usually ended with some kind of violence, or negative emotion. There hadn't been any positive emotion between them since they left England. He would like to say Kong was to blame for that, but it had been their last guitarist, and Murdoc's inability to commit to things like 'love'….He didn't love the boy, at least he wouldn't let himself go anywhere near that.

"Uh sure Muds….C'mon luv let's get ya to Russ." He said picking the girl up from the table and carrying her down the hall way in search for the drummer.

Murdoc went into the rec room and sat down on the couch. He wasn't really sure what he was going to say, he was starting to realize that expressing his feelings to 2D had been easier when the boy had been nothing but a human wall. Yeah he'd said things to him once he had woken up, held him, caressed him, and treated him like a human being….Once all of that changed though it really had changed, the boy never stopped looking at him that way though….Lately he looked at him with fear and that broken heartedness, but the love and worship was still there. He hated all of it, sometimes he wished the singer hated him like most people that he knew….He could feel himself getting angry already and forced himself to calm down. He didn't need to start the conversation by knocking more of the kid's teeth out.

"So wot yew wanna talk about?" The singer asked as he sat down next to the bassist.

There was barely any space between them; it'd been like that lately. He was like an abused animal who after a few days of licking its wounds would come running right back to you.

"I'm sorry about everything, the van, yer girl, knockin' out yer teeth….Treatin' ya the way that I have."

"It's okay….I'm not really upset over 'er anymore, still 'urts t'ough…..Why are yew apologizing now?" The singer asked slowly not sure what could set the older man off.

"Do yew remember how things were back in England before yer girl came back to ya?"

2D nodded slowly and looked away shyly, Murdoc smiled.

"We both know she wasn't good fer ya or my band and I really miss how t'ings were back t'ere."

He felt awkward, he wasn't sure why. They had been together numerous times in those few weeks, but it had been ages since things had been that way. They were living somewhere different, they had a band now so they weren't living alone, and they were getting closer to really being something. He was getting closer to having money and all the women that he could ever want, he didn't like the thought that 2D would want more than a relationship that even Murdoc couldn't put a label on. He needed him though; he needed him as much as he hated his guts for needing him back.

"I miss it too, t'at was real nice….It didn't feel really right when I got back wit Paula, I t'ought I'd be happy, but I wasn't….I noticed you got real weird when I got back wit her and I kept t'inkin about yew a lot…..She wasn't wit me te way yew were wit me." The singer said hanging his head letting hair fall into his face.

Murdoc reached over combing his fingers through the blue locks. 2D looked up at him blushing slightly; the bassist let his hand move from the singer's hair to his cheek. The singer reached up placing his hand over Murdoc's, he looked at the bassist with that usual look of worship. That look he remembered so well, it had always been there. Ever since the day he had hit the boy with his van there had been this utter fascination in those eyes that were now nothing but blackness. It always scared him, angered him, but right now it made his heart constrict. Everything he was feeling right now towards him scared him, but he wasn't going to push him away right now, he needed him, and he needed his singer.

"I really missed yew mate" The Satanist whispered

"I missed yew too"

Murdoc moved in closer leaving just barely a couple of inches between their faces. He could feel 2D's warm breath against his skin; he only hesitated for that couple of seconds before breaking the distance pressing his lips against the younger man's. The kiss was soft, slow, and nervous just like the first couple of times they had kissed. He could feel fingers tangling in his hair; he placed his hands on the singer's hips pulling him against him as the kiss deepened. He prodded his tongue against the younger man's lips; 2D parted his lips willingly letting out a small whimper as the kiss grew more heated. He missed him and the taste of cigarettes that almost always flavored the inside of his mouth.

There were a million things wrong with this, but he honestly didn't care right now. He was reliving the times they'd had back in England when it was just the two of them.

He groaned when he felt hands sliding up his shirt and short fingernails raking over his sides. He bit at the blue haired man's lip before breaking away completely. They both stared at one another with that hazed stare like they were both millions of miles away in another world. 2D leaned in and began running his tongue along the side of the bassist neck.

"Fuck D, c'mon mate we can't do tis out 'ere."

The singer pulled back and looked at him in confusion.

"Why not?"

"Russ and Noodle, remember, t'ey don't need ta come out and catch us." Murdoc said as he looked down the hallway making sure nobody was coming.

"Al'ight t'en we can go to te Winnie t'en."

"No, let's go to yer room luv, yer way better t'an tat damned t'ing." The Satanist said

He stood up from the couch and began walking down the hall way to 2D's room with the lead singer right behind him just like always; he always followed him no matter where it was they were going to. He knew the Winnie would have more privacy, but it was filthy in every meaning of that word. It was the place he took hookers and groupies, it wasn't a place he would willingly take Stewart to.

2D walked into the room and made his way over to his bed, he sat down looking at the bassist, waiting. Murdoc made sure to shut and lock the door behind them, he wondered how pathetic it was that he cared what his band mates thought, especially since one seemed nearly oblivious to everything around her.

"So why can't t'e others know about t'is?" 2D asked sounding more confused than hurt.

Murdoc settled on the younger man's lap and the singer wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Cause t'ey don't need ta know, nothin' ta really know anyways." He said before leaning in and kissing along the younger man's neck.

He wanted to re-mark him; he wanted all traces of Paula off of the vocalist. He bit into 2D's neck causing him to let out a small moan. He bit harder and could feel fingers digging into his back; he began sucking on the sore skin then lapping at it with his pointed tongue. He moved to another spot repeating his previous actions except with harder bites. Each time the blue haired man would moan more loudly, he thought about telling him to keep quiet, but he couldn't get himself to. Murdoc pulled back, he reached down grabbing hold of the hem of his own shirt and quickly pulled it up and over his head dropping it to the floor. 2D mirrored his action and Murdoc couldn't help, but look at the pink scars on his pale chest and stomach.

"Yeah Paula did t'at, she'd get angry or bored, and start cuttin' at me like t'at." He said casually like it didn't matter.

Murdoc could tell by how far away and odd he looked while talking about it that it obviously did bother him still. He placed his hand on his cheek regaining his attention; he leaned in kissing him hungrily. He pushed the taller man back onto the bed now straddling his lower stomach. He groaned into the kiss as nails dug into his back. He moved a hand down to the front of the singer's pants grabbing at him, 2D moaned into the kiss at the sudden sensation. The older man began rubbing at his erection through the material of his jeans.

He broke from the kiss and looked down at the younger man as he continued rubbing him. His eyes were just barely open and his head was tossed back against the bed as moans and whimpers fell from his mouth. He liked how he reacted to his touches, even to the way he looked at him. He stopped rubbing at him and stood up from the bed. 2D pulled himself up on his elbows and stared up at the older man with so much frustration he looked like he would cry. Murdoc smirked at him and shook his head letting his hair fall over his eyes. He quickly unfastened and removed his jeans and underwear kicking them to the side. He could feel the singer's eyes on him and couldn't help but smile.

He watched as 2D went to work quickly unfastening his own jeans, he couldn't help, but chuckle as his long fingers fumbled with the belt buckle, and zipper. He liked how his face turned red when he got embarrassed or very frustrated. The singer pushed his jeans and underwear down to his ankles and kicked them off the rest of the way. Murdoc crawled back onto the bed hovering over him; he leaned down kissing him quickly. The blue haired man wrapped his arms around his neck trying to pull him down closer. The Satanist dipped his head down placing quick kisses against his collar bones and the center of his chest.

"I'm te only man you've ever had sex wit, right?" He asked looking down at the younger man.

"Yeah, o' course yew are." 2D replied almost like the answer was obvious.

He knew he couldn't and probably never would stop the singer from having sex with women, but he liked knowing he owned that part of him. He'd always own some part of his mind and his body and that was all the bassist needed to know.

Murdoc ran the tip of his tongue from 2D's chest down to his navel. He felt fingers tangling in his hair urging him to go down further. He stopped and stared up at the younger man who looked down at him with desperation, he loved that look, and the way he needed him. He moved down further, he wrapped his fingers around the singer's dick stroking it a couple of times before pressing his lips against the head. 2D let out a breathy moan and let his head fall back against the bed; the Satanist flicked his tongue back and forth over the tip causing the younger man to arch his back off of the bed. He took the head into his mouth sucking slowly; he loved every loud and nearly frustrated moan that came from the blue haired man. He took more of his length into his mouth sucking harder; he continued wrapping his long tongue around his dick causing the singer to cry out more loudly with each passing second. Murdoc pulled away completely and moved back up his body kissing him roughly. He tangled his fingers in his light blue hair roughly pulling his head back before breaking from the kiss.

"Quiet, I don't need yew getting' Russ or Noodle 'ere wonderin' what's goin on." He whispered before biting at the vocalist neck causing him to whimper in reply.

"Sorry Muds, t'at just felt really good, I forgot yer um…Y'know" 2D said sounding too embarrassed to finish his statement.

Murdoc looked down at him smirking. He looked over at the night stand next to the bed and noticed the small bottle of lube among the pile of junk cluttering the small space. He reached over grabbing it up then dangled it in front of the younger man's face, the singer blushed.

"So yew been waitin' fer me or just thinkin' about it." He asked teasingly.

He didn't really expect an answer; he'd learned the singer wasn't really comfortable with talking about sex. He'd say things, but they were usually in ways a kid would do.

Murdoc poured some of the substance into the palm of his hand and reached down taking hold of his own dick stroking it until it was fully coated. He wondered if it'd hurt 2D as much as it had the first time, it'd been a while since they last had sex. The last time they had been to the point it only hurt for a minute, but he doubted the singer would really object to anything the older man wanted.

He slowly pushed a finger inside of him and the singer moaned softly. Murdoc leaned down kissing and biting along his neck, he had one hand on his thigh gripping tightly as he pushed another finger inside of him. He pulled his fingers half way out then pushed them back in doing his best to stretch the younger man. He focused on his heavy breathing and soft moans; he looked up at him seeing a look of frustration, and knew it was alright to move along.

He pulled his fingers out and sat back on his knees. He pushed 2D's bent legs apart further so he could settle between them. He slowly pushed inside of him never taking his eyes off of his face checking for any sign of pain. He was almost half way in when the younger man let out a small pained cry. He stopped and stayed still for awhile.

"Yew al'ight?" He asked as he continued checking the singer's face.

"Y-yeah I'm fine, jus' 'urts a bit t'at's all."

"Sorry luv" Murdoc whispered before pulling back out then pushing back in.

He leaned down kissing the younger man slowly hoping to take his mind off of the discomfort. He could feel his body tense and began gently stroking the side of his face as he continued pushing inside then pulling out. He kept at a slow pace waiting for the younger man to relax his muscles; he would, but quickly tensed back up. Murdoc pulled back and looked down at him noticing the look of pain on his face.

"Try to relax, al'ight? Yew remember, it'll make it easier on ya."

2D nodded slowly and took a deep breath; his muscles slowly began to relax. Murdoc leaned down and began kissing and biting along the side of his neck. The blue haired man tilted his head to the side exposing more of his neck to the older man. The Satanist pulled out then pushed back in quicker this time, the younger man cried out in a mix of pleasure and pain this time. He pulled half way out then shoved in at the same moment he bit into his neck hard enough to break the skin.

Legs wrapped around his lower back and fingers clawed at his back, Murdoc gripped tightly to his hips as he tried to aim for that one spot. 2D's back arched off of the bed and he let out a loud moan, Murdoc smiled against his neck knowing he'd found it. He picked up his pace thrusting more quickly and harder into the younger man this time hitting his prostate with every other thrust of his hips. He couldn't help, but moan at the feeling of the singer's body around him. It felt even better than the times before; he moved up kissing him roughly. The kiss was hungry and desperate like they would lose each other if they ever parted. The blue haired man's body moved in time with his trying to meet him thrust for thrust, he reached down wrapping his fingers around the taller man's dick stroking him slowly then quickly.

Murdoc broke from the kiss and buried his face in the crook of the black eyed man's neck. He closed his eyes tightly and focused on the feeling of his body wrapped around him and the sound of his labored breathing and loud moans. He dug his jagged nails into his hips with each frantic thrust as he brought himself closer, he could tell by the moans, and nearly unintelligible words falling from the singer's mouth that he was close to the edge. With a few more strokes 2D was coming into his hand and onto his own stomach, his body tensed, nails digging into the bassist back as he rode out his orgasm. His body slowly relaxed as he rode it out, with a couple more thrust Murdoc came inside of him. He really wanted to say that this feeling was better than the drugs he spent a good portion of his lifetime doing. He bit into the taller man's neck muffling each loud moan, he felt fingers combing through his hair as his thrusts slowed then eventually stopped. He pulled out and lay down on top of the younger man's sweat soaked body. An arm wrapped lazily around his back while fingers still combed through his hair in a nearly comforting matter.

"I really missed yew Muds, so wot are we again?"

"Friends t'at do stuff most friends don't do, that's all mate."

"Oh al'ight t'en….Can yew stay fer a bit, I don't really want yew ta go."

"Sure Stu, I'll stay fer a bit, I gotta go check on Russ and see if he's gotten anything done though."

"Hey yew haven't called me Stu in a real long time now, I kinda like 'earing yew say it."

Murdoc closed his eyes and sighed heavily, he felt exhausted. He knew he would have to move, hopefully nobody would realize how long he had been in 2D's room.

"Well don't get used to it." He mumbled before falling to sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

Murdoc woke up with the blue haired singer pressed up against him with his head on his chest and with one leg thrown over his lower stomach. He reached up running his fingers through the tangled blue locks noticing how the tips looked to be a darker blue lately. He watched 2D's face as he slept, his eyebrows were knitted together and he looked like he was in pain, he whimpered softly and buried his face against the crook of Murdoc's neck. He was getting a migraine; the older man began lightly caressing the back of his neck. He remembered the first time he'd witnessed one of the younger man's migraines. They had been sitting on the couch and he had noticed how he began rubbing at his head and muttering to himself and shuttering. He had felt bad for him, the way he had been shaking so badly he could barely get the cap off of his pill bottle. Murdoc remembered shutting all the blinds and letting the younger man lay on his lap shivering and whimpering in pain.

"Hey wake up dullard ya gotta take yer pills." He whispered as he gently shook the singer's shoulder.

2D groaned in pain and pushed at the older man silently asking him to leave him alone.

"C'mon D I'm not letting ya lie 'ere shakin' like tat all night."

The younger man opened his eyes and looked up at him, he was definitely in pain.

"Can ya get 'em fer me, I left em in me dresser."

Murdoc rolled his eyes as he got up off of the bed. He picked his jeans up from the floor and pulled them on before making his way over to the dresser. He hated having to find things in the singer's room; it was nearly impossible most times. Drawers were always stuffed full, the closet was a hazard zone, and the floor was covered in clothing and notebooks. He would scream at him for it, but his space wasn't much better. After a bit of digging and cursing under his breath he found the little orange bottle.

"Here" He said tossing the container onto the bed, it landed next to the singer's head.

The younger man flinched and whimpered, he blindly reached over grabbing hold of the bottle. He struggled for a minute, but finally managed to pop the cap off of it. He shook four pills into the palm of his hand and popped them into his mouth. Murdoc watched him swallow them easily; there was no way to say the kid wasn't addicted to those stupid things. He'd say that he needed to take more than two, but then there were times he would take them just because he liked the light headed feeling that they would give him, and supposedly calmed his nerves. Though the Satanist had to admit he was less likely to get frustrated or frantic when he was all doped up, thought he rather see him smoking weed like he often did than pop those fucking pills.

"Yer gonna end up over dosing on those damn things one day." Murdoc said as he went in search for his shirt among the pile of clothes.

2D curled up on his side and watched the bassist.

"No I won't, I been takin' 'em since I fell on me head. Two stopped workin' after a bit, so I started on more t'an t'at." He said like it was a logical thing to do.

Logic would be going and getting a stronger prescription, but he didn't want to see him tripping on something stronger than whatever he was currently on.

"Yeah, sure whatever ya say dullard."

"Sides yew take 'em too, I know yew been stealin' em from me."

Murdoc looked at the younger man not sure whether he was amused by his neurotic behavior or slightly unnerved.

"Ya really need ta get t'at problem of yers checked faceache." He said as he finally found his shirt.

"Fanks fer getting' me pills fer me." The younger man said sighing.

His voice sounded distant and he had that doped up smile on his face as his eyes fell shut.

"Yeah, whatever….Look yew might wanna put some pants on before I get outta here."

2D nodded slowly, but continued to lay there. Murdoc sighed in frustration; he grabbed a pair of ripped blue jeans off of the floor and tossed them at the singer. The boy grabbed them and slowly went to work pulling them on, the whole process took nearly three minutes. No he really didn't even want to picture him on anything stronger than whatever he was currently on.

"I'll see ya later" Murdoc mumbled as he left the room closing the door behind him.

He looked both ways down the hallway hoping nobody noticed he'd been in there and especially how long he had been in there. He made his way into the kitchen grabbing a bottle of beer out of the fridge then going into the living room. Russel sat on the couch with Noodle by his side, the two sat with controllers in their hands as they focused on whatever video game they were playing. He gathered they'd been like that for hours and probably wouldn't have noticed if the house had fallen to the ground. Noodle was rambling something off in Japanese, every now and again she would throw in an English word, but he doubted it was used in the correct way.

"How long 'ave yew two been doin' this fer, did ya get t'at stuff done I asked ya to?" Murdoc asked as he kicked his feet up on the coffee table.

Russel shot him a dirty look then turned his attention back to the TV screen.

"Yeah I got your shit done for you, lazy ass mother fucker. Now it's your turn to do something for once, all I ever see you do is sit on your ass smoking cigarettes and downing whiskey…Oh and beating up on 2D every couple of hours. Where is the kid anyways, ya finally beat him to death?"

Murdoc rolled his eyes at the comment. Sometimes he swore the drummer had too much of a mother instinct, it was either that or just total bitching.

"I didn' kill te fuckin' idiot. He's in his room sleepin', got another one of his soddin' migraines."

"Did you get a translator for Noodle yet?"

"No, I'll work on it….Erm tomorrow, yeah I'll work on t'at tomorrow."

"Seriously, you rip my ass when I don't do every single thing you tell me to when you tell me to do it, but you can put this shit off for fucking ever?" The drummer yelled never looking away from the screen.

Murdoc glanced at the TV in time to see the car he gathered Russel was playing as burst into flames. The large man groaned and rubbed his hands over his face in frustration. Noodle stood on the couch hopping up and down happily rambling in words neither man could understand.

"Ya just lost a game to a little girl mate." Murdoc said smirking.

"Shut the fuck up."


	23. Chapter 23

It took Murdoc about three weeks to finally find a translator for Noodle, he'd nearly forgotten all about it until Russel started yelling at him for never doing anything. In that time 2D had managed to teach the girl about eight different words, the bassist still couldn't really figure out how.

Murdoc hired a guy named Alan, he sort of knew him, but just barely. He would come in for a few hours to help the girl with studies and some lessons on the English language. During her time living there she'd picked up some slang terms that Alan hadn't been too happy about her knowing, but she was in a band so she was going to hear way worse. He liked the thought that in a way Alan could watch after the girl while the rest of the band would be busy with fans. Which to Murdoc meant a few autographs, some shots of whiskey, and a few lucky groupies back at the hotel. They hadn't started touring yet; there was a label interested in them though. Russel had told him about them, but they were still on the fence about their style and the way that 2D looked. Murdoc had sent them a little message or two to help them along the process and to get over the singer's looks; so far they had been playing along just fine.

Currently though the bassist was sitting in the rec room with a nearly full bottle of whiskey and a cigarette between his lips. He noticed he drank more, he also noticed that 2D smoked more and seemed to take more of his pills along with a few other kinds of drugs. Sometimes he wanted to punch the singer for the things he was doing, but why bother? He'd done most of everything and still did a good bit himself; he didn't have complaining rights that was for damned sure.

He liked how things were becoming more relaxed between the two of them. Yeah he would still get pissed off and beat the singer up, but the taller man never really seemed to mind it. He'd flinch or make sounds like a hurt puppy, but never really said anything or showed any real fear towards the older man. He would still stay up with him, take chances to talk to him when they were there, and have sex with him every chance they were given. Murdoc liked whatever the hell they had going on, he had the benefits of both worlds. He did miss women a lot, but that would happen once they got signed and started going places.

"Hey Murdoc have you see D lately?" Russel yelled as he walked into the room.

Noodle clung onto his back and kept tapping her fist on the back of his head.

"No, why, ya lose 'im or somethin?" The bassist asked not really caring.

He cared about the singer, but the boy still could get on his nerves. Up until now he had been enjoying the silence he'd been given.

"He's a grown man, I'll admit he does sort of have the mind of a child, but I'm still not in charge of him. I have this one to look after; she isn't scared of Del anymore so she keeps knocking my head trying to get him to come out. It's really starting to give me a headache." He said as he glanced back at the small girl who just continued smiling and knocking on the larger man's head repeatedly.

Murdoc smirked.

He didn't like the idea of having a little kid, a little girl especially in their band. There were a lot of things wrong with it for him or things that could go wrong with it, but she was insanely talented, and he had to admit that she kept him entertained with her extreme moods, and her boyish ways. He still wondered where she came from though and why sometimes she would wake up the whole house late at night with her nightmare fueled screams and panic attacks. He hoped she'd tell Alan, but by that time she generally couldn't remember them anymore.

"So do you know where he's at?" Russel asked again.

Murdoc sat his bottle down on the floor and stood up from the chair.

"Hell if I know, probably out in t'e fuckin' graveyard. Idiot keeps goin' out t'ere and getting chased by t'e god damn zombies."

"So you're going to go get him, right?"

"O' course I'm gonna get 'im you fuckin' idiot. I don't need ta lose my damn singer to some fuckin' dead heads, but if he ain't out t'ere I'm gonna skin 'im alive." He said angrily before storming out the front door.

As usual it was raining outside, raining was really an under statement. The weather at Kong usually consisted of hauntingly dark or constantly storming to the point you waited for the Earth shattering tornado to hit. He did like some features the house held, he was pretty sure the portal to Hell was somewhere in the labyrinth of the home. He wasn't going to tell his band mates about that though, the idiots would probably want to close it up, especially knowing about the bassist obsession with the underworld. He respected Hell more than he respected himself or those around him. He couldn't say that he respected the things climbing out of the hole and clambering around Kong studios though.

He grabbed the axe they kept near the entrance to the cemetery before going inside. He'd only been there a few times before; the first had been when he was looking over the property, the second had been to see if zombies really did exist, and the third was because he had been so pissed off to the point of homicide and that was the closest he could come without it really being illegal. He had hoped the hour long massacre would have cut down the zombie population, but with every one that he decapitated another ten seemed to take its place.

He knew 2D liked going there. Sometimes he would go there after watching one too many of his damn zombie flicks. Other times he would go out there when he was in one of his rather rare depressive moods where he really didn't care what happened to him. It was like he wanted to be a zombie sometimes; those were usually the times he would ramble on about life and death. It was scary some of the intelligent things that he could say, but the moment the words would leave his mouth he'd forget about them completely. Murdoc was hoping he was just out there in one of his Dawn of the Dead fan boy fits; the depressive fits scared the shit out of him. He never wanted to leave him alone, but taking the risk of being bitten by a zombie seemed too great to make sure the kid didn't get torn to shreds.

Murdoc made his way through the fog as he looked around his surroundings. He could hear moaning in the distance, it was sad, hollow. It was nothing compared to the sounds he had heard in Hell the times he had been there, this was what it sounded like when you escaped without your soul, but with the pain and memories….It kind of sounded like the noises Noodle made when she had her nightmares, not as intense, but close enough to shake the older man.

"Faceache w'ere t'e hell are yew at?" he said loud enough the singer should hear, but not loud enough the zombies on the other side of the yard would hear.

He heard crunching near by and tightened his grip on the axe that he held at the ready. Unlike most people he would kill something or somebody if he really had to. Sometimes that worried him, but it was another thing he managed to bury beneath alcohol.

"C'mon ya fuckin' idiot ya know I hate t'is fuckin' place." He growled under his breath.

He heard a cry somewhere not too far off that sounded quite alive. He ran in the direction of the sound and heard another one followed afterwards, he came to a large leafless tree where three decayed zombies were huddled around something. He took the axe raising it above his head then slamming it down right into the top of the dead man's head causing him to drop to his knees then fall onto his side. He pulled it back out and was grateful to see the other two dead men hadn't noticed the re-death of their friend.

He saw 2D curled up on the ground shaking with his hands over his head and a tattered notebook at his feet. Murdoc went to work killing the other two zombies who fell to the cold Earth with heavy thuds. He dropped the axe and reached forward grabbing the sobbing boy by the front of his shirt and pulling him roughly up onto his feet and slamming him back against the tree. 2D let out a weak cry as more tears ran down his cheeks, his body was still shaking, but he looked slightly less terrified. Murdoc didn't really care though; he was too pissed off at the moment.

"Wot are ya fuckin' stupid, neva mind I already know t'e answer to t'at one. Yew fuckin' idiot, wot tryin' ta get yerself killed, eaten or some shit like t'at?" He yelled angrily

He could hear his voice echo through the graveyard. If more zombies came he would take care of them, but right now he didn't care. He could feel his own body shaking and his heart racing in his chest. He couldn't tell if the emotions were that of rage or something else that he didn't even want to acknowledge.

"I-I'm sor'y Mu'doc, really I am…I just…Ju-"

"Just wot yew fuckin' idiot. Ya keep comin' out 'ere wit yer fuckin' death obsession and ya almost get killed every fuckin' time."

2D hung his head and his body shook with another sob.

"I-I….Shit…I-I-I know, okay, I know, it's stupid, I'm sor'y Muds I really am."

He sounded frustrated; Murdoc noticed the stuttering and wondered if it was another migraine. He sighed heavily and let the taller man drop onto the ground. He kneeled down in front of him and placed his hand on top of his head running his fingers through the soaked mess of blue.

"Why ya out 'ere D?" He asked, calmer now.

Yelling wasn't doing anything; he noticed sometimes the singer seemed very off even for him. Murdoc tried to think over the things 2D's mom had told him about, his mental and medical conditions. She had told him at some point about some weird thing like memory loss. It wasn't long term, he would say things then forget them or forget things while he was talking, and generally end up depressed over it.

"I'm just….Just….I don' know, I'm sorry, I'm real sorry." He repeated as he shook his head.

Murdoc shivered as his wet clothes clung to his now cold skin, he pushed his fringe out of his face. He didn't mind trying to understand these things, but he didn't really like trying to understand them in this place.

"Stop sayin' t'at…Wot are ya sorry about?"

"I can't…Every time I try to…Try ta say somefink I forget it, I keep doin' it lately…Me headaches keep getting real bad too and just….Fuck" He muttered

2D reached up grabbing fistfuls of his hair and tugging at it roughly as he continued mumbling to himself. From what Murdoc could hear he was just calling himself stupid a lot and maybe a few other things.

He grabbed hold of the boy's wrists hard holding them until he finally let go of his hair.

"Stop it, ya ain't t'at Fuckin stupid."

The singer let his arms drop back down by his sides, he looked up at the singer through his blackened eyes.

"Ya always tellin' me I'm stupid, yew jus' said it not too long ago…Sayin' I'm…Eh fuck, I keep forgettin'." He said sounding sad then extremely frustrated.

"I'm real sorry about t'is….Yew, yew comin and getting' me over somefink t'is stupid and all…Real sorry about it."

He was about to scream at him for apologizing so much, but knew it wouldn't help anything. He took a deep breath then wrapped his arms around the other man pulling him against him. 2D leaned his head against Murdoc's chest and wrapped his arms around his midsection curling his fingers against his back.

"It's alright, it's alright…Yew just get frustrated, tat's all…Yer mum told me about yer memory stuff one of t'e times she came ta check on you. Not yer fault, me hitting ya all those times don't help much either I'm sure."

"I still….I still 'ate it, it scares me y'know…Like…Like I'll just fo'get everyfink, like yew, and me mum…I don't wanna forget all tat."

He sounded scared, Murdoc had wondered that a couple of times. 2D's mom was a nurse though, she would know best about these things especially the patient being her own son….Then again she could have also just made things less terrible than they really were to keep herself sane. That seemed unlikely though, he knew it was just from all the pills and head traumas.

"Yew won't forget nothin' so don't t'ink like t'at…Sadly yer always gonna remember me." Murdoc said laughing to himself.

2D pulled back and looked up at him smiling sadly. He placed his hand on the younger man's cheek then leaned down kissing him softly.

"I always wanna remember 'bout yew, even t'e times I don't like yew much….I don't mind t'e hittin too bad, used ta scare me….I fink I remember yew hittin me when I was outta it."

Murdoc felt himself tense; he took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

"Yeah mate I used ta hurt ya when you was outta it…I'm real sorry about t'at t'ough…I was just all frustrated about havin' ta take care of yew."

2D nodded and smiled like it really didn't matter. Sometimes he wished he had the mentality of the younger man, yeah he'd be dumb, sore, and frustrated….he wouldn't be scared of losing his mind completely though.

"It's okay, I understand. Yew told me about it, I unde'stand some of it…I still don't remember everyfink t'ough…I'm real sorry how yer dad treated ya t'ough." 2D said looking down.

Murdoc kissed him on the top of the head.

"It's al'ight mate, long as t'e old bastard don't come around no more t'en I'm happy….It's t'e one thing about becoming famous that is gonna scare me….I don't want him comin around tryin' ta take from me and run things 'round here."

It still felt weird sharing his thoughts and his emotions no matter how dead he liked to pretend they were with the younger man. When he had been out of his head it had been easy, because his only replies were occasional grunts, but now that 2D could really understand him and reply it made him feel uncomfortable. He'd wait to be judged or if he shard too much he would just switch into his rage mode and start beating the younger man up then leave him bloodied up and confused.

"He won't come round…zombies probably get 'im or I would, I don't like seein yew sad and stuff…Yew neva say nofink, but I can still tell."

Murdoc didn't reply, he leaned back against a tombstone with the younger man curled up against him. He groaned when he felt lips against the side of his neck.

"Should probably go back inside 'fore Russ or Noodle comes lookin' fer us. Don't think I could explain yew sittin' on me like t'is to em."

2D moved off of him and grabbed the now soaked notebook up off the ground before standing to his feet. He looked down at the now ruined book and frowned. Murdoc looked over his shoulder at the smeared black ink of what were once words.

"Stupid rain" 2D mumbled under his breath.

"It's al'ight, ya know it rains all t'e time in t'e graveyard…Come on let's get goin." He said tugging at the younger man's arm.

"Wait" The blue haired man said as he placed one hand on the back of Murdoc's head and the other on his hip pulling his body flush against his.

The bassist stared at him through wide eyes still trying to process the quick motion, 2D smiled down at him with the same smile he'd worn after the second car accident. Murdoc couldn't help, but shiver at the sight. He went to speak, but before he could get a word out the singer was kissing him hungrily. He didn't react for a few seconds, but once the younger man's tongue was in his mouth he managed to wrap his arms around him digging his nails into his back. He didn't even care about going inside right now or the zombies he heard groaning in the not too far distance. He wanted to say in a strange way this moment was perfect.

As quickly as it had happened it had ended, 2D pulled away stepping back from the older man. The wicked smile from before was gone now replaced by his usual stupid grin. The singer laughed before turning and making his way out of the graveyard. Murdoc picked the axe up from the ground and ran to catch up with him, it was the second time he actually had the almost feeling of love for the younger man.


	24. Chapter 24

"C'mon ya fuckin' idiots the agency said they want five more songs fer a record by t'e end of t'e month." Murdoc said as he began tuning his bass.

Noodle glared at him from her spot on one of the amps and began yelling in Japanese; the older man looked expectantly at the small girl's translator.

"She doesn't like you referring to her as an idiot, she said she may not speak much English, but she still can understand enough to know you're insulting her." Alan said not even looking up at the bassist.

"Yeah whatever, dullard 'ad ta teach 'er shit didn't ya?"

"I t'ought it'd be fun ta teach 'er some words, least she don't 'it me all ta time." 2D said as he stood over his keyboard pressing down on random keys.

"Jus' get started, we're gonna start with 5/4 and 'ey Russ t'ey said t'ey liked t'e rap parts. So try an' get Del outta yer head for some of the tracks."

Russel mumbled something in reply.

The past five days had been spent with everybody going over songs, adjusting things that needed adjusted. 2D and Russel had made the Satanist change some of the song titles and a few of his choice words in the lyrics to make them more suitable. Murdoc had to admit he'd been easier to anger the past few days and as usual ended up taking the frustration out on the younger man. He tried to avoid attacking the blue haired man when Noodle was around since the last time he had punched him in front of the young girl she had knocked the bassist to the ground and began choking him. If she had been anybody else he would have thrown her out by the scruff of her neck, but she was a little kid who kind of scared the hell out of him sometimes. He also had the feeling that if it wasn't for her being there 2D probably would have left; there was no way in Hell that Murdoc would do something to chase the kid off now.

While they would work through the songs Murdoc would occasionally look over at the singer watching him. His black eyes always seemed so focus and the expression on his face was always so focused and there when he was playing music. He really could understand what the blue haired man had been saying about feeling dead when he had worked in that record shop. The regular life of college and a dead end job where nobody noticed you for anything at all wasn't meant for him. He wasn't anything like Murdoc though; he wanted to play music for the art of it and the passion. The Satanist had been that way, but that was very many years ago. Now he did it for the art, the money, and the things that he could get with it. He wanted to drown himself in sex and booze, he could do that without fame, but it wasn't the same. He had a feeling in the back of his mind that his charm wouldn't last forever, 2D would eventually get some girl, and without those things Murdoc would be alone. He didn't want to think about that, he wanted to know he could have any woman on Earth….He also wanted to know the singer would be a constant option.

Sometimes he worried the younger man had feelings for him, but if he did have any he never expressed them verbally. Murdoc knew it was all in his head, the kid was stupid, but he got what it was they had going on. They both knew it wasn't going anywhere past some comfort and mostly sex.

"'ey Mu'doc are we still gonna use t'e tracks Paula did?" 2D asked after they had finished recording for the night.

"No faceache, she didn't do no damn good, and we got Noodle in t'e band now so why botha wit it."

Noodle looked around at the mention of her name then went back to putting her guitar back in its case. Murdoc watched as she left the room with Alan and Russel right behind her. He was still grateful he hadn't had to play babysitter for the girl one time since she arrived.

"I was jus' wonderin' cause I like some t'e songs…Not all of 'em, but some."

"We might use 'em on somethin' else, just not our first album." Murdoc mumbled as he finished turning off the last of the equipment then picked up a bottle of whiskey he'd been drinking most of the night.

He waited for 2D to leave the room, but he continued standing there staring at him.

"Yew sure people won' get freaked out about me eyes; I don't want ta mess up yer band cause of somefink like t'at."

The bassist took a long drink before setting the bottle down on the ground. He looked around making sure nobody was anywhere near the room before he walked closer to the singer. Sometimes he did feel bad keeping the things they did so secretive, but honestly it wasn't anybody's damned business.

He placed a hand on 2D's shoulder gripping lightly; the younger man looked at him and smiled weakly.

"I told ya about t'at dullard; if t'ey don't like it t'en fuck em. I'm not replacin' ya cause of somethin' I did to yer face. Stop actin' like it's yer fault ya look t'is way cause it ain't." Murdoc said sternly, but still trying to comfort the taller man.

"I know, jus' I know 'ow much yew wan' t'is….I jus' like playin' music wit my friends, and I wanna make sure yew get wot yew always wanted too."

There were a million bad things fame could bring, most of which had corrupted Murdoc ages ago. He didn't want to see fame corrupt the man standing in front of him, he'd like for him to be smarter, but he didn't want to see him broken. He didn't want to see him become another junkie who only cared about money and what it could get him. He wished that 2D could just keep the nearly childish way he looked about being in a band, but he knew it'd disappear eventually. He'd try to let him keep it for as long as possible though, just like he'd try to keep him for his own personal gain for as long as possible.

Murdoc leaned in kissing him; 2D kissed him back just a second later. He felt long fingers tangling in his hair and a hand on his back pulling him in closer. Each time they did this there was less hesitation, he did miss the days where it was just the two of them working on music in a dingy little flat. He missed being able to kiss him or have sex with him at any time or any spot.

He heard a door closing somewhere near by and pulled away from the singer who gave him a look of confusion and hurt. A minute later Russel came into the room looking between the two men most likely making sure 2D wasn't bleeding or dead.

"Hey D Noodle started havin' one of her fits again, she keeps saying she wants you with her."

The singer nodded slowly and made his way towards the door, he looked back over his shoulder giving Murdoc another hurt look before leaving completely.

Those were the times he feared the younger man wanted something more from him.


	25. Chapter 25

2D stood looking into the dirtied mirror of the dirty men's restroom in the venue of their first concert. Murdoc stood behind him watching him as he looked at his reflection with distaste; he hadn't seen the boy hate his looks so much for a long time now. It made him hate himself all over again for causing him all of these problems, but he thought he was fucking incredible. He tried to voice that as little as possible, but he did when he had to. He'd nearly strangled the label when they wanted to talk about 2D's impaired looks.

"Yew sure t'ey won't like bottle me 'r somefink?" The singer asked sounding scared.

Murdoc walked up behind him wrapping his arms around his waist pulling him back against his body. He buried his face in the crook of the singer's neck nipping at the skin causing him to shiver.

"One bottle hits ya an' I'm rippin their fuckin' arm off. Now c'mon mate we got ta get on stage 'fore they start t'inkin' we left or somethin'." He said pulling away from the singer and making his way to the door.

He could feel the taller man behind him and knew he was still worrying about his looks. A few minutes later the four of them were on stage in front of a decent sized crowd much larger than the ones Murdoc used to play for. He noticed how some people reacted to seeing the singer's appearance, but the moment he opened his mouth and began to sing all of their fear and disgust seemed to melt away into shock then finally into excitement. The bassist tried to remember the last time he played a show where his band hadn't been attacked, half way through their set a small riot broke out, and then by the end of the set a full scale one had.

Russel already had Noodle on his back and was headed through the violent crowd pushing and shoving people out of the way until he finally made it to the large metal doors and outside. Murdoc ran over grabbing 2D by his arm and dragging him through the violent sea of people, he pulled his knife out of his pocket and poked it at a few people to get them to move more quickly. Once they noticed the knife in his hand they seemed to avoid getting near him, they finally managed their way outside into the cold night air. Noodle was now on the ground chatting excitedly, Russel looked extremely confused, and 2D was smiling stupidly.

"What the hell was that about?" The drummer asked as a few screams came from inside the building.

"T'at's 'ow yew know ya played a good show mate." Murdoc said smirking as he shoved his hands in his jean pockets.

"So we still goin' to t'at after party or wotever it was?" 2D asked hopefully.

"O' course, t'ey got free booze, and it gives me a kinda break from yew lot." Murdoc said as he turned away from his band mates and got into the van they had arrived in.


	26. Chapter 26

The moment they had arrived at the after party Murdoc started drinking and avoiding his band mates. Kong was an extremely large building that sometimes you could get lost in for weeks or even months, but it always seemed like somebody else was constantly around. A lot of the people in the room didn't really approach him, he noticed some of the men asking 2D what happened to his eyes, and began noticing some of the women gathering around the empty headed singer giggling at everything he said.

Murdoc grunted and turned his attention away from the singer. He spotted Noodle seated on a table with a group of people gathered around her and Alan asking her things like crazy, the small girl actually seemed to like the attention. He kind of dreaded what she'd be like once she hit her teen years; she was already getting close to eleven by now….As far as he could figure anyways, fuck he was getting old…

He looked over to see Russel not too far away talking to some people who looked to be in their early twenties. He was probably going on about hip hop or about his usual ramblings of human intelligence and the Earth. Sometimes Murdoc wanted to strangle him for his sessions of talking about such serious topics about as badly as he wanted to strangle 2D and his constant stupidity over the smallest of things.

The bassist noticed a couple of women looking at him curiously, one of them was smiling like mad and the other one kept whispering to her. Murdoc smirked at them which caused both women to giggle. They weren't really too bad looking; the one on the left was rather short with spiked out black hair, purple eye shadow, and pink lipstick. She wore a purple tank top and ripped up tight fitting black jeans. The girl next to her was a good few inches taller with long blonde hair, her skin was tan, and she wore a tight fitting pink dress. Usually the Satanist would grab the opportunity to get with groupies, but he really wasn't feeling it. He'd end up taking them to Kong, there was a chance Russel would have to give his opinion before he could even leave the building, and the next morning the drummer would probably nag at him for his behaviors.

He took another long drink from the bottle of red wine he held tightly in his hand then began looking around for 2D again.

He spotted the singer standing with his hands behind his back and this rather dumb school boy look on his face. He was rambling to a woman with short purple and black streaked hair; she wore thick black eye makeup and red lip gloss, and a short red dress. She laughed at nearly everything the singer would say occasionally reaching out and placing a hand on his shoulder, Murdoc noticed the blue haired man would blush when she'd touch him. The bassist could feel his anger building up inside of him, he didn't know why though. It wasn't like his rage usually had a good reason behind it, but this just felt strange being angry over something like that. He looked away from the two and took another long drink from the bottle. He felt himself calming down and his muscles relaxing again as the alcohol coursed through him. He looked back again just in time to see 2D's fingers in the woman's hair as she leaned in kissing him. The woman placed her hands on the singer's side sliding her hands just a couple of inches up under his shirt. Murdoc felt his temper rise so quickly it nearly knocked him off balance.

He made his way quickly over to the two and grabbed the singer by the back of his shirt roughly pulling him away from the woman. 2D stumbled backwards nearly falling onto the floor, but Murdoc made sure that he remained on his feet. The girl looked at the two of them in confusion. The singer began struggling and finally broke free from the older man's grip, he turned facing Murdoc, glaring at him.

"Wot t'e hell is wrong wit yew?" He asked angrily

"Me, wot t'e fuck is wrong wit yew? Makin' out wit' some chick ya barely know at some fuckin' after party." Murdoc yelled angrily.

He could feel the woman staring at him, but he really didn't care. If she wanted to voice her offense he'd gladly tell her what to do to herself.

"Wot, yew do it all t'e time. Yer always bringin' girls back wit yew and doin' stuff wit 'em."

"Well t'is ain't about me, it's about yew and t'at ugly girl yew were just makin out wit."

"Hey, I'm standing right here."

Murdoc looked at the girl who stood with her arms folded across her chest. He grabbed 2D by his wrist and began dragging him through the room until they were out in the hallway. The singer jerked his hand away and continued giving the older man annoyed looks.

"I liked 'er, she said I look good even wif no eyes and all."

"Fucks sake dullard she only likes ya cause yer in a rock band. She don't care about yew or nothin' like t'at."

He hated how naïve the singer was, it was like he was willing to trust nearly every stranger that he met who didn't look at him like a complete freak. It'd be different if the younger man didn't say he liked the girls or wanted to date them….Right? He wanted to believe that, but something in the back of his mind told him it would never be different, he'd still be dragging 2D off to scream at him.

"N-no she wa'nt she really did like me, yer jus' jealous cause nobody 'ere finks yer attractive." 2D said bitterly as he turned making his way to the elevator.

The doors clanged open and the singer walked in, Murdoc ran in after him. He slammed the taller man back against the wall grabbing hold of his wrists and pinning them against the wall. He heard the doors go shut behind them, 2D looked down at him nervously.

"I could get wit any bird in t'at room; I'm just lookin' out fer yew." He said before releasing his grip.

Murdoc turned away from the vocalist and hit the lobby button, he felt light headed from all of the booze, and his sudden rage fit. He leaned back against the wall closing his eyes tightly trying to keep himself from falling over.

"Ya really mean t'at?"

"Mean wot faceache?"

"T'at yer lookin' out fer me or yew jus' sayin' t'at."

He opened his eyes looking at the younger man who no longer looked angry just his usual awkward self with that general sadness to him.

"Look ya saw wot happened wit' Paula, 'ow she treated yew and all….I jus' really don't wanna see ya goin' through all t'at again."

He was being honest when he said it; 2D was very likely to get with another woman just like the last one. He knew something that started as a one night stand could easily turn into a relationship where some trashy girl would be taking everything she could from the vocalist knowing that it'd be years before he'd catch on.

"I know…Yew really did 'ate 'er a lot…..I still don't really know why yew 'ad sex wit her if yew 'ated her so much."

"I don't know, I told yew before I really don't know why I did it….Just happened, t'at's all." He said shrugging it off like it wasn't a big deal.

"Yew weren't t'e only guy she cheated on me wit, t'ere were a few before yew….I don't know why I got so mad wit yew over it actually, guess just cause yer me best mate and all…Didn't fink yew of all people would do wot yew did, but yew weren't t'e first." 2D said sounding sad as he remembered it.

The doors opened before Murdoc could say anything in reply. They walked out into the nearly empty lobby making their way out the double glass doors and into the cold night air. They got into the van and drove off on their way back to Kong, he probably should have told Russel and Noodle that they were leaving, but he didn't care. He didn't want to go and tell them or try to drag them with him, plus he really just wanted the time alone with 2D for a bit.

"Why didn't yew dump 'er if she did all t'at to yew?"

Murdoc looked over at the blue haired man who had his head leaning against the window staring forward blankly.

"I loved 'er, kinda figured at first she would stop doin' all t'at to me, but she never did…After t'at I didn't say nofink because I was scared she'd walk out on me, I didn't fink anybody else would love me wit t'e way I look and all…Like yew said t'ey don't really care about me or anyfink….I know it was dumb and all, but I couldn't help it…..She never loved me back, I coul' tell 'ow'd she'd look at me and treat me….It was neva nice…Sometimes I still get sad 'bout it, t'inkin' about 'er….I don't want to, but I do…I kinda got yew sometimes t'ough so it's not as bad."

The Satanist didn't reply, he just tried to focus on his crazed driving. He was happy nobody else was out tonight, the last thing he needed was a car wreck. He was amazed when he pulled into the parking garage without one incident.

The two men sat in silence for awhile; 2D still had his head leaning against the glass with that same blank stare on his face. Murdoc reached over placing his hand on his inner thigh squeezing lightly, the blue haired man looked over at him blushing slightly. He couldn't help, but smirk at the younger man's reaction.

"I probably shouldn't 'ave done wot I did back t'ere, but I jus' couldn't help it…Fuck if I know why, yew aren't ugly or anything like t'at so stop sayin' t'at about yerself all the damned time. Yew'll probably get some girl just as stupid as yew are and have dullard kids together….Until t'en ya need to stop wantin' to date every bird t'at shows interest in ya."

The younger man nodded, he never took his eyes off of the hand gripping his thigh.

"C'mon D let's get inside"

Murdoc leaned over kissing him quickly before getting out of the car. He pulled the key to the Winnebago and unlocked the rickety metal door that always seemed like it was going to fall off of the hinges. He stepped inside of the cluttered mess he called home; he turned around to see 2D standing at the entrance looking up at him nervously.

"Wot is it?"

"Can I come in or do yew wan' me to jus go into t'e house?" He asked shyly.

The bassist rolled his eyes at the question.

"Yes yew can come in fer once dullard."

The singer smiled as he made his way into the small space making sure the close the door behind him. Murdoc kicked his boots off and removed his shirt; he could feel the blue haired man's eyes on him the whole time.

"Like watchin' me get undressed?" Murdoc asked smirking as the taller man began blushing.

"I jus….Um….Y'know I was jus' standin' 'ere t'at's all." He said sounding embarrassed.

The Satanist placed his hands on the younger man's hips pulling his body against his, 2D's eyes widened as he looked down at the older man. He wrapped his arms loosely around the bassist neck and leaned down kissing him passionately, this was how it was supposed to be. Murdoc liked the way the younger man worshipped him, how eagerly he always kissed him, and the way his body felt pressed up against his.

He grabbed hold of the blue haired man's shirt tugging at it; 2D pulled away and quickly removed his shirt dropping it onto the small table next to him. Murdoc shoved the younger man back against the bathroom door; he leaned in kissing and biting at his neck creating newer bruises over the old ones. He felt short nails digging into his back and pressed himself against the singer causing him to moan as he arched his back trying to get more contact with the older man. He moved back up kissing the younger man roughly, he tangled his fingers in his blue hair tugging roughly causing him to whimper. He grabbed onto 2D's hand placing it over his crotch, after a few seconds the singer got the hint and began rubbing at the Satanist growing erection through the material of his jeans.

There would most likely be a day in the future when the singer had a smart moment long enough to realize Murdoc was trying to own him and he'd probably run after that. Until then though Murdoc wasn't going to worry about it, his band was finally getting off of the ground with their first show, and soon their first record, and 2D didn't seem to care about their unstable relationship.

The taller man broke away from the kiss breathing heavily, his face was flushed. Murdoc reached up stroking at his cheek, he kissed him quickly, and couldn't help but moan at the feeling of that hand rubbing at him.

"C'mon, bed" The older man growled before pulling the younger man to the back part of the home on wheels.

He shoved 2D back on the bed; he sat straddling the singer's lap. He leaned down kissing him hungrily, the blue haired man placed a hand on the middle of his back and another on his crotch picking up with the steady rubbing and groping he'd been doing just a minute ago. Murdoc ran his tongue down the younger man's body biting at his lower stomach before pulling away completely. He sat on the bed with his back pressed against the wall and looked at the now confused vocalist.

"Wot is it, did I do somefink wrong?"

"No luv, c'mere"

The younger man crawled over to him on his hands and knees. He looked up at the older man curiously waiting for him to say something, Murdoc smirked and reached down caressing his cheek then running his fingers back through his hair. The taller man leaned into his touch smiling softly.

"I want yew to give me a blow job."

"I've neva done t'at before" 2D muttered, sounding embarrassed and nervous.

He smiled wickedly at the reaction, he liked when he got nervous over talking about sex. It was cute in a weird way, which was how most things about the singer were cute.

"Jus' do wot I usually do ta yew." He said as he continued petting the younger man's head.

Murdoc reached down unfastening his pants and pushing them down to his knees. The younger man gave him another nervous glance before taking the head of the bassist dick into his mouth sucking lightly. He gave a light tug at 2D's hair; the singer took more of the older man's length into his mouth. He looked up keeping his eyes focused on the black haired man's face as he began bobbing his head slowly up and down his dick.

He had to admit that the missing front teeth made it feel strange, but it wasn't in the bad way.

"Yer doin' great luv, jus' fucking perfect."

2D mumbled something causing vibrations to go through the older man's body making him moan loudly. He noticed the curious look in the singer's eye and two seconds later he began humming softly as he continued moving his mouth up and down. Murdoc leaned his head back against the wall moaning and cussing; he couldn't help thrusting his hips just a little when he felt the tip of the blue haired man's tongue go over the tip of his dick. He felt fingers digging into his hip and looked down at the singer who was going at a slightly faster pace now, his tongue working him.

"Fuck, yer just fuckin' perfect luv." Murdoc mumbled before falling into another string of moans and low growling sounds.

The muscles in his stomach began to tighten as he came closer to his climax; he pulled at the singer's hair giving him warning. The younger man pulled back keeping only the head of the other man's dick in his mouth flicking his tongue back and forth over the tip which drove the bassist over the edge. His back arched and he tried his best not to pull too hard at the taller man's hair as he came inside his mouth. He came muttering the singer's name over and over again, his muscles slowly began to relax, and he opened his eyes looking down at the other man who pulled off of his now flaccid dick.

He grabbed hold of the singer's arm lightly tugging at him, the singer moved up so that he was now sitting on his lap. 2D wrapped his arms around the older man's neck and leaned in kissing him lazily.

"So 'ow'd I do?"

"Excellent" Murdoc managed out before kissing him again.

"Do yew fink I could sleep 'ere tonight?" 2D asked shyly.

"Sure, Russ and Noodle ain't 'ere so I don't see why not."

The vocalist smiled up at him and nodded.

Murdoc wondered for a moment if he even realized they ditched their band mates back at that hotel with no real way home. He'd surely hear about it the moment they did get home, but until then he didn't care. He lay down with the singer's shirtless form pressed against him already sleeping. He kissed the younger man on the top of the head holding him closely as he fell asleep.


	27. Chapter 27

Murdoc woke up the following morning with a hangover; he was becoming quite used to them. He used to rarely get them since he spent most of his time drunk, but lately he didn't drink like he used to. Of course to a normal person they would say he shouldn't even be alive with the way that he consumed alcohol.

He looked over his shoulder to see 2D pressed against him, his arms were wrapped loosely around his waist. The bassist slowly pulled from the younger man's weak grip and climbed out of bed, he grabbed his jeans up off the floor and pulled them back on. He grabbed a couple of the singer's pain pills off of the counter, the ones he'd been sneaking for the past few months. He liked the little green and white pills though he had to admit they were strong enough to nearly knock him on his ass when he would take them. He considered waking the younger man and making him get out and go back to his own room, but didn't really want to bother with it. He knew that if Russel was awake he'd be too pissed off about being left at the hotel without a ride home to care where 2D was sleeping at.

The Satanist stalled around his mobile home for awhile hoping his headache would lessen before he went inside the house. He knew the drummer would greet him by yelling at him; after about twenty minutes the pills finally started kicking in leaving him with a light headed feeling that made him feel like he'd fall over, the light headed sensation turned into feeling as if somebody was pushing on his brain. He groaned as he pushed the door open and walked out into the dimly lit garage and made his way to the side door and into the house. He could hear the usual far off screams and small dead children laughing as well as the usual clap of thunder outside. The sounds never had really bothered him too much, Russel seemed generally disturbed because of his fear of death, Noodle had grown used to the oddities around her home, and 2D was too dumb to notice any of it at this point. Sometimes the singer would point out a strange sound like it was something new even if it'd been going on for hours.

Murdoc made his way into the kitchen and inwardly cringed when he saw the drummer sitting at the table with bags under his white eyes and a rather pissed off expression. Noodle sat across from him, her oddly cut hair tangled, and head down.

"Hey thanks for fucking ditching us at the hotel last night you asshole." Russel yelled when he spotted the bass player.

Murdoc grabbed at his head as a dull shock of pain shot through it at the booming sound of the younger mans' voice.

"Stop yer fuckin' yelling, I got a headache."

"Oh I'm sorry, because I wouldn't want to make you feel like shit…I can't believe you fucking left us there, self centered demonic drunk."

"It's not a big deal so stop yer fucking bitching."

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a taxi at four in the morning, do you? Oh wait you don't, because you took our only ride home. You never even told us you were leaving or anything, shit did you leave 2D too? I didn't see him in his room and he wasn't at the hotel when we were getting ready to leave. Hell wouldn't surprise me if you ran over him with your van, that'd make three times now."

"Shuddup, I didn't leave dullard at t'e god damn hotel. Hell if I know w'ere t'e idiot fell ta sleep at ain't any of my fuckin' concern." He yelled angrily before grabbing a new bottle of whiskey off of the counter and opening it.

Noodle groaned and lifted her head looking at the two men. She began muttering angrily in Japanese then lowered her head again with another exhausted groan.

"See even Noodle feels like shit, you could have at least brought her home."

"Hey I'm not t'a one who wanted a fuckin' kid in t'e band in the first place."

"Yeah that's right you only let her stay so D wouldn't leave. You're such an asshole; I can't believe that kid even likes you." Russel said shaking his head.

"If yew haven't noticed lately Russ he's dumber t'an fuck so o' course he likes me." The bassist said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Ey wot's everybody yellin' about?" 2D asked as he walked into the room rubbing at the side of his head.

"Did you even know Murdoc here left us at the hotel last night?"

The singer shook his head and looked between the angered drummer and the exhausted guitarist.

"No I didn' know t'at, I left wit' Muds, but I didn't know yew guys 'ere still t'ere." He said sounding slightly more confused.

Russel shook his head and got up from the table not even bothering to try and discuss the topic any further. He picked Noodle up from her chair and carried her down the hallway most likely to put her back to bed.

2D sat down in the chair next to Murdoc and began staring at him through blank blackened eyes.

"Wot do yew want?" Murdoc asked feeling annoyed with the staring.

"Did yew take more of me pills, I fink I have less now."

"Yeah faceache, I been takin' em for a few months now. Not like ya need t'at many damn drugs."

"Yeah I do, t'ey help wit me headaches, and I can't take jus' two of 'em."

He thought about arguing him, but decided against it. Anything he would say would be lost on the vocalist, he rarely retained anything especially this early in the morning.

"Does Russ know I slept in t'e Winnie wit yew las' night?"

The older man raised an eyebrow as he stared at the blue haired man like the question was the dumbest one he'd ever asked. There were much dumber questions, but this was one that really didn't need to be asked.

"O' course 'e don't know yew spent t'e night wit' me. Why in fuck would I tell 'im t'at for?"

2D looked down and began fumbling with his fingers like he usually did when nervous. Almost everything he did was a nervous habit.

"Maybe 'e wouldn' fink it's weird, I don't fink 'e would." The singer said softly.

Murdoc sat the bottle down on the table and sighed heavily.

"Look faceache I ain't tellin' anybody yew stayed t'e night wit me or t'at I sometimes stay t'e night wit' yew. Al'ight, nobody needs to know t'at stuff except fer us."

Sometimes he felt the beginnings of guilt about this whole situation, but he usually drowned it with alcohol. He really was grateful for the never ending supply of various kinds of booze that Kong held; it made the hauntings quite easy to live with.

"Is it cause yew don't wan' people finkin' yer gay?" The blue haired man asked just barely looking up.

"Sort of, t'at's one of t'e reasons anyways."

It wasn't like Russel or Noodle would care, hell Noodle barely understood English. Most likely Russel would bitch at him for 'using' the singer in his perverted little games then try to talk 2D out of things telling him that Murdoc only wanted to abuse him and cause him pain. It was that or it was only the Satanist paranoia talking….he wasn't sure which, probably just more bull shit his mind constantly came up with to keep him from feeling real emotions.

He noticed the singer still wasn't really looking at him, he looked nearly depressed. Murdoc took hold of his hand catching the younger man's attention. He looked around the room before leaning in and kissing the younger man quickly.


	28. Chapter 28

"C'mon Noods yew almost 'ad it." 2D said to the young girl who sat on the couch looking up at him in confusion.

Murdoc sat in the arm chair working on his second cigarette of the day while watching the blue haired man try to teach the small child insults. She had learned a few like 'idiot' 'stupid' 'dullard', but she was still having problems learning cuss words. Though according to Alan she knew a wide variety of obscene choice words in her own language; the bassist had to admit sometimes 2D seemed really good with the kid.

He was too dumb to ever really take care of a child, but he was the only one who could calm Noodle down when she had her nightmares. He was also the only one who could get her to stop attacking Murdoc when she was angry.

"Man will you stop trying to teach baby girl cuss words." Russel said as he passed through the room.

"Why not, she knows 'em anyways, jus' not in English." 2D said not even looking away from the small girl who was now playing with his hair.

"Yeah Russ yew heard t'ose lovely little pet names she calls me when I 'it dullard over t'ere." Murdoc said, he leaned forward and smacked the singer hard in the back of the head causing him to whimper in pain.

Noodle shot him a look and began yelling.

"See I told ya she knows 'ow to curse." The bassist said smirking.

"I fink I prefer 'er cussin t'an t'ose fits she throws at night." 2D said as he rubbed at the back of his head.

Noodle continued lightly tugging at his spiked blue hair; she was always fascinated by it.

"Yeah I know what you mean, I wonder if it has anything to do with her parents. Maybe they abused her or something before they shipped her here, it's impossible to know where she came from before now…Well except for the address we have, we could look for the place when touring starts."

"Yeah an' if we find 'er parents I'm bustin' their faces in." Murdoc replied angrily.

"You do know there are better ways to solve things than violence, don't roll your eyes like that."

Murdoc flipped off the larger man.

"Yeah, yeah says t'e man who broke my fuckin' nose."

"Hey you deserved that one, violence is the only thing you understand…That and the god knows what kind of sexual things you do to those poor drunk girls you take back to that tin can in our garage." The drummer said sounding honestly disgusted before leaving the room.

Murdoc took another long drag and looked over to 2D who had his head bowed and was blushing slightly.

"I t'ink yew should leave the English lessons up to Alan mate." The Satanist said

Noodle was more fascinated with 2D's hair and necklace than listening to anything that he was trying to teach her. The singer sat back and sighed heavily; the young girl tilted her head to the side then realized the so called lesson was over. She hopped down off of the couch and quickly made her way out of the room.

"So yew still take girls back to yer Winnie?"

"O' course I do…not as many as I'd like, but t'at'll probably change w'en we start wit' t'e touring."

He swore that he saw disappointment on his face, but his hair was covering most of his features from view. Murdoc got up and went over to the couch sitting down in front of the singer, he placed two fingers under his chin lifting his face up to look at him.

"Wot's wit' yew lately dullard?"

The singer pulled his head away and averted his gaze.

"Nofink, I jus' didn't fink yew were still doin' t'at stuff wit girls all t'e time."

"It's not all t'e time, just some of t'e time….I need a woman every now and again, besides yer free to do whatever. Not like we're dating or anything like t'at." He said laughing.

He tried to read the vocalist expression, but couldn't. He sort of just looked empty at the moment; Murdoc caressed his cheek trying to get his attention again. He was going to ask something else until he heard somebody coming down the hallway. He shoved 2D onto the ground roughly then got up from the couch. He put the rest of his cigarette out on the floor next to the blue haired man's head and made his way out of the room like nothing had happened.


	29. Chapter 29

The Satanist had noticed a recent pattern of behavior with 2D. When he'd entre a room the younger man would tend to leave it shortly after, if Murdoc brought a woman back to Kong he could usually hear crashing sounds coming from the taller man's bedroom, and anytime something came up that could lead somebody to find out about their odd relationship 2D would generally leave once Murdoc made up another bull shit response.

It scared the hell out of the bassist, not the part of the singer avoiding him, but the reasons he felt were behind it. It was ridiculous to think that the blue haired man was in love with him, he knew better than that. They were just friends who had sex with each other; 2D hadn't even really tried to get with anybody else since the night at the after party. Murdoc on the other hand was back to his usual schedule of collecting women, lately he didn't them. He just kept thinking about his idiot singer and his fit of depression that even Russel and Noodle were beginning to notice.

Currently though all four of them were in a room together, Noodle was on the floor with Alan going over her English lessons. She was getting a lot better lately; she'd reached the point where they could use her on some of their songs they felt could use female vocals. 2D sat on the couch staring off into space with that blank stare that made his eyes truly appear dead instead of their usual wet shine. Russel and Murdoc had spent the past few minutes going between drinking beer and talking which the talking generally consisted of insulting, sometimes the drummer would try for a real conversation, but the bassist would get bored half way through.

"Oh and by the way I barely got any sleep, I could hear you with that girl you had at what three in the morning. I seriously want to thank you for that, bad enough I have to hear you tell interviewers about this shit, but I really don't need to hear it."

Murdoc smirked.

"Aw come on mate it's like free entertainment fer ya, unless I start chargin' yew." He said laughing.

Russel shook his head.

2D made a frustrated sound as he got up and walked quickly out of the room. Russel just barely noticed, he took a deep breath and got up from where he had been sitting.

"I need to get back to my project, I'll see you guys later." The large man said as he left the room.

By project he meant his taxidermy, Murdoc didn't mind it, but he noticed a nearly psychotic side to the younger man anytime he was in the middle of one of his projects. The Satanist knew quite well anybody possessed or who had been in a near death experience tended to want to be around darker things like making grotesque art out of road kill animals.

Murdoc glanced over at Alan and Noodle who were too busy to notice anything. He took it as the perfect opportunity to slip out of the rec room and go see what the hell was going on with his singer. As he approached the door he could hear objects crashing and cussing from inside. He thought back to the day he'd had sex with Paula, how out of it 2D had been….He almost considered walking away, but his usual anger built up inside of him.

Why should he turn away, it was after all his home, he let the boy stay there. There was no way in hell he was going on tour with the blue haired man in one of his nearly zombie like trances that brought everybody else down with him. Well it never really brought Murdoc down, if anything it made him more prone to anger, and made him drink more.

He pushed the door open and stormed into the room, the door hit the wall hard drawing 2D's attention. The taller man stood in the middle of the room surrounded by clothes, pill bottles, note books, and broken bottles. He looked about as angry as he had the day Paula had left the band, Murdoc could feel his body tense, but tried to push the nervousness down.

"Dullard w'at t'e fuck is goin on wit yew?" He screamed at the younger man who only continued to stare at him with angry black eyes.

2D dropped the beer bottle he had been holding then stalked over to the bassist. Murdoc shut the door behind him locking it; if the singer hit him he was going to beat the dullard half to death.

He readied himself as the taller man got closer to him only leaving a few inches of space between them, the bassist pressed himself back against the door and stared up at the younger man waiting for him to hit or start screaming at him.

2D grabbed hold of Murdoc by the collar of his shirt and jerked the shorter man's body close to him. He clenched his fists at his sides waiting; the singer pushed him roughly back against the door this time pressing his shirtless body against the older man. The Satanist could just barely hold back the shock and confusion he felt at the singer's actions, he was still waiting for some kind of outburst. The look of anger on the blue haired man's face turned to annoyance to confusion and then back to his now usual depressive stare. He mumbled something beneath his breath that the older man couldn't understand before leaning in kissing Murdoc roughly. The older man's eyes widened and his muscles tensed at the unexpected action, he felt another hand on his side gripping tightly, and a tongue pushing against his lips.

Once the shock passed over him he parted his lips granting the younger man entrance and wrapped his arms around him digging his fingers into scarred pale skin.

The kiss went from rough to desperate; he couldn't help but moan into the taller man's mouth. He hated not having dominance it gave him a sense of no control and made him feel weak, but he couldn't get himself to do anything against it. He wanted to punch him, push him away, and tell him to never do that again. He couldn't though, he could only dig his nails in deeper against the younger mans' skin as they continued kissing in this desperate fashion.

2D broke from the kiss and stared down at him through half lidded and confusion filled eyes. Murdoc didn't even know what to say, he could see the hate on his face as well as the confusion. The taller man pulled him away from the wall and walked him backwards until the back of his knees hit the side of the bed and he fell back onto it with the blue haired man on top of him. He reached up to caress the younger man's cheek, but his hand was pushed roughly away. He could only stare up at him not sure if he was more shocked or enraged at the singer's actions. 2D grabbed hold of the hem of his shirt pushing it up his body, Murdoc leaned up removing it the rest of the way and dropping it to the floor. 2D leaned in biting roughly at his neck; the bassist could help but groan at the feeling. He tangled his fingers in the other man's hair cussing under his breath with each nip of his teeth. He felt a hand grabbing and rubbing at his crotch and bucked his hips upwards cursing loudly.

2D moved from his neck running his tongue down his chest to his stomach then moved back up grabbing a fist full of the older man's black hair pulling his head back roughly. He kissed Murdoc roughly trying his best to bite at his lower lip. The bassist ran his jagged nails down the singer's back cutting into his flesh causing him to cry out in a mix of pleasure and pain. He grabbed hold of the blue haired man's ass pulling him down against him grinding his hips up against him. He swallowed each of the other man's desperate and frustrated moans. 2D pulled back from the kiss and glared down at the older man, he looked so angry and lost. If it was a different situation Murdoc probably would have cared.

He hated being under the taller man, hated that feeling of no control. When it came to everything he had control, he got what he wanted, and if he didn't like something he changed it no matter what. This though he actually was slightly scared of what would happen if he tried to change it, and there was the fact he did sort of like looking up at the slender pale singer sitting on his lap staring down at him through those blackened eyes of his.

Murdoc reached up quickly unfastening the singer's pants, the younger man got up off of the bed removing them the rest of the way leaving himself completely naked. The bassist wasted no time in removing his own jeans and underwear kicking them off onto the cluttered ground. He watched the singer open the bed side drawer rummaging around throwing things out onto the ground for a minute before pulling out the nearly empty bottle of lube. He tossed it at the bassist and it landed next to him on the bed. Murdoc smirked as he popped the top off of the plastic bottle and poured the remainder of the substance into his hand going through the usual motions they went through every time before they had sex.

2D crawled back onto his lap placing his hands on either side of his head, the singer had his head bowed, and his blue hair hung over his face hiding his eyes. Murdoc gripped tightly to his hip with one hand while he used the other to guide his dick inside of him, the younger man let out a weak cry of pain as the bassist slowly slid inside of him. The singer pushed down on him taking more of the older man inside of him. The Satanist couldn't help the moan that passed through his lips at the heat he felt coursing through his body as the blue haired man impaled himself on him. He reached up with his free hand pushing 2D's hair out of his face and behind his ear. He noticed the tears trailing down his cheeks and could feel that tiny pang of guilt that seemed to grow bigger. He leaned up kissing him slowly, the taller man kissed back roughly , he firmly placed a hand against Murdoc's chest shoving him back onto the bed as they continued kissing. He began moving up and down the other man's length as the bassist tried to meet him thrust for thrust. The soft cries of pain slowly turned into ones of pleasure, Murdoc dug his nails into his sides as he thrust harder into the younger man on top of him.

2D buried his face against his chest cussing and moaning trying his best to keep quiet. He dug his fingers into Murdoc's biceps as he continued moving up and down against the older man. Part of him wanted to know what the younger man was mumbling on about, but the intense waves of pleasure taking him over didn't allow him time to care. He continued thrusting harder and faster into the other man; he grabbed him by his hair pulling his head back roughly. Murdoc leaned up sinking his teeth into the side of his neck causing him to moan almost too loudly. He lapped at the blood that seeped out in small lines; he sucked at the damaged skin as he dragged his nails down the younger man's chest drawing more moans and whimpers from him. He reached down taking hold of the taller man's dick and began pumping him in time with their frenzied pace. 2D kissed him again; hungrily as he thrust against the older man craving more of him and his touches. He dug his fingers in the older man's hair as small moans were swallowed up in their heated kissing. Soon he was coming into the bassist hand and onto his stomach, not long after Murdoc was coming inside of him holding him down firmly against him as his thrusts slowed to a stop.

2D collapsed against his body burying his face in the crook of his neck. Murdoc's breaths came out labored for a few minutes as he lay there with the thin man lying on top of him. He reached up running his fingers through the vocalist sweaty blue hair, this week it appeared to be a sky blue…He kind of liked it that way.

"Wanna tell me wot t'e fuck t'at was about?" Murdoc asked trying to sound annoyed, but he was too exhausted.

2D pulled away from him and lay next to him leaving a good distance between them. He looked like he hadn't slept for days, he hoped to hell the younger man wouldn't say the things he thought he would say.

"Nofink….Jus', it's nofink at all." He said quietly as he slowly pulled himself off of the bed grabbing his jeans from the floor and pulling them back on.

Murdoc sat up and glared at him as the anger seeped back into him. He reached out grabbing the singer's wrist roughly and pulling him back down onto the bed.

"Wot t'e fuck do ya mean nothing, yew act like one of those damned zombies an' t'en act more like a man t'an yew 'ave in all the time I've known ya just so yew can tell me nothin' is wrong. Bollocks, now tell me wot t'e fuck is wrong wit' yew so maybe you'll stop actin' so fuckin' weird." The bassist yelled angrily.

"Stop it I don't wanna talk about it, al'ight? Isn't it bad enough I gotta 'ear yew at night wit' t'ose girls of yers callin' em fings an-and I'm 'ere by myself jus' waitin' fer yew to feel bad and shag me sometimes. I'm jus' a mindless little side option cause everybody knows nobody wants to 'ave sex wit' me. Yew say so all t'e time in interviews and stuff an'…..I'm fuckin' sick of yew and I'm sick of yew comin' in my room an' touchin' me jus' cause yer tired of birds for the week or cause some woman turned yew down. I'm fuckin' sick of it and me head keeps on throbbin and yew keep on stealing me medications and….I can't stand it Mu'doc I 'an't fuckin' stand it and I feel like I'm goin' insane all t'e time and…I don't know anymore."

2D ran his fingers back through his hair; he lowered his head, and closed his eyes tightly. His body shook and he coughed, a few tears scrolled down his cheeks. He muttered something to himself and shook his head roughly in response; Murdoc placed his hand on his back, and was shocked when the taller man flinched away from him.

"Look D I told ya ages ago wot we are and such….y'know I need a bird every now and again, didn' know t'at you'd get so bloody upset over it and all. Yew'll get girls I'm sure t'ere are ones that find yew attractive and all, ya know wot I t'ink about 'ow yew look. We'll go to a doctor and get ya some new meds before we leave on tour, al'ight….Look 'ow about durin' tour I don't get wit' any ladies."

The singer looked over at him, he looked so exhausted.

"Yew mean t'at?" He asked slowly like he wasn't even sure of the idea.

Murdoc had always dreamed of all the women he could get and in all the different places. He didn't need his band's singer going insane on them though and that part of him that he couldn't kill no matter how much booze he consumed hated seeing the younger man like this. He hated seeing him cry, hated seeing him in pain, and really hated knowing why he was this way. He remembered how he decided back in England that he couldn't date the younger man that he would only hurt him. He knew he'd cheat on him, probably end up hitting him on accident, or verbally abusing him….He didn't want to be like his dad, it wasn't like he loved the dullard though. He couldn't love him, he didn't want to so he wouldn't.

"Yeah dullard I mean it, no girls….If I want someone I'll jus' get wit' yew, al'ight? Stop tryin' to t'ink so much every time ya do it yew jus' go all weird in t'e head."

2D smiled sadly and lay back on the bed groaning in pain.

"I'm sorry about stealing yer meds luv, t'ey work wonders on hangovers."

"Why yew always call me luv for anyways?" 2D asked curiously.

He looked less depressed, but there was still something wrong with him. There was so much going on anymore with the tour dates and interviews that it was hard to say what the problem was. Murdoc sighed and laid down next to the singer.

"I don' know, I jus' do….Only when we're like t'is t'ough, not like I'd say it around Russ or Noodle or anythin' like t'at….Jus' a habit I guess." He said shrugging it off.

"I was gonna punch ya yew know?"

"I figured, if ya did I was gonna end up putting ya in t'e emergency room."

2D laid his head on the older man's chest and nodded like the idea didn't really bother him. Murdoc wrapped an arm around him holding him closely. He would never admit out loud that he enjoyed these moments or any of it.

"Do yew fink yew coul' stay in 'ere wit' me fer a while….It's been weird not really bein' 'round yew and all." He said sounding embarrassed.

"Sure luv, I'll stay for awhile." Murdoc replied kissing the top of the younger man's head.


	30. Chapter 30

They were about to play their first show in England, Noodle and Russel were helping the road crew set the stage up before they went on. Murdoc stood with 2D in an alleyway behind the large venue sharing a cigarette. He could tell the singer was nervous just like he was before the first show they had played. He looked around to make sure nobody would see before he wrapped his arm around the younger man's shoulder holding him closely. 2D laid his head on the bassist shoulder and took a deep breath.

"Stop bein' so nervous, yer gonna do jus' fine."

"We 'aven't been 'ere since t'e band started its real weird feelin' bein' back and all." The blue haired man said as he pulled away from the older man's embrace.

"I know, but it's nice an' after we play a couple of shows 'ere yew can go an' see yer parents for a bit. Yew haven't really talked to 'em much since we moved to Kong."

2D looked away sighing heavily; he took a long drag from the cigarette then handed it back to the bassist.

"I know, I feel bad 'bout it….T'ey still don't like yew much, if t'ey knew I had sex wit' yew they'd go real crazy." He said laughing.

Murdoc looked away still paranoid somebody would hear them talking. It was night time and the alley was pitch black, the chance of somebody passing by noticing them was very unlikely. He felt like a prick for thinking that way, he would say something about it to the singer, but he knew how it made him feel. He still felt concerned about the way things were going between them, every chance they had gotten they took it to make out or have sex…Which Murdoc had to admit the opportunities were coming very few and in between and it was driving him up the wall. It'd be so much easier to just go grab the nearest drunk bird he could find and have sex with her in his hotel room or in a bathroom stall, but he'd promised the younger man he wouldn't do that until they were back in the states.

Promises, Murdoc never made promises to anybody. Except he kept on making them to 2D and he didn't really understand why. He'd promise a girl that he'd call her the next day, promised he'd keep up with parole, and promised he would stop doing drugs. Those were all things he had promised, but knew he didn't mean them the minute that he said them and they were usually accompanied by a roll of his mismatched eyes. This was different though, the word 'promise' made him feel like choking. It was such a foreign word especially when he told himself to mean it, but he didn't need the blue haired man leaving the band….He really was a dick.

"Why aren't yew nervous about our firs' show Muds?" The taller man asked curiously

"Cause mate I've played too many shows in my lifetime to really give a fuck anymore. Just another hour of screamin' girls and drunk frat boys, nothin' new to me." He said shrugging like it really was nothing.

The metal door behind them opened and a short over weight man poked his head out looking between the two of them.

"Yew guys are goin' on soon, get inside." He said before going back inside of the building leaving them alone once again.

2D sighed heavily as he made his way towards the door; Murdoc grabbed him by the wrist pulling him back. He leaned in kissing him quickly before pushing past him and into the large building. He could still feel black eyes on his back and couldn't help but smile to himself.


	31. Chapter 31

The show went as perfectly as Murdoc imagined it would have. The crowd was completely insane over the band on stage; girls tried climbing up onto stage to get closer to the members of the band. He noticed a lot of younger girls fascinated by Noodle and her new hacked up hair cut. He also couldn't help, but notice the women of various ages looking at him with desire trying their best to touch him, every now and again during their set he'd stick his long tongue out at them causing them to scream louder. Murdoc loved driving women insane, but it drove him insane knowing he couldn't touch a single one of them all because he had to make one stupid little promise. He was distracted from his own little world of rock God status by 2D; he was so lost in his head when he was singing. It was like he wasn't even in the room, he didn't see any of the people in the crowd, and he was just on stage with his friends singing songs they'd all written together. He never even noticed the growing crowd of females and some males who looked at him with sexual desire, Murdoc noticed them of course, and he wanted to punch them. He really didn't know why he felt that way, why it was when somebody flirted with, or tried to touch 2D he automatically wanted to beat them into the ground.

After the show they had signed autographs and talked to some of the fans. Murdoc hadn't hung around long; too many women kept approaching him with very reasonable offers that murdered him saying no to. He could only take maybe half an hour of being around everybody then he was off to the hotel where he removed his sweat soaked shirt and began drinking every bit of liquor he could find in the room. Murdoc quite enjoyed having the time to himself before his band mates would be back, they weren't used to playing shows, or having people swarming around them wanting to talk to them. He knew after a few weeks they would get used to it and probably a bit tired, but he highly doubted 2D would ever get tired of the attention. He seemed to enjoy when people actually wanted to listen to him instead of cutting him off and yelling at him like Murdoc often did.

He tried not yelling at the singer as much lately, but he still couldn't help it. The amount of sexual frustration he was feeling lately also wasn't helping matters much, some part of him really wanted to have sex with a woman, but he also didn't mind just sticking with the blue haired man. It made him feel like he was drowning though, only being with one person, it made him feel like he was letting 2D too close…They'd always been close, but Murdoc had always found a way to put distance between them…He'd find a way to do it again and then things would be on the level he liked them to be.

The hotel room door slowly opened and the long legged man walked in quietly shutting it behind him. He looked over to the bed almost surprised when he saw Murdoc sitting there staring at him.

"Oh 'ey Muds I figu'ed yew'd be sleepin' or somefink by now."

"Nah jus' t'ought I'd come up 'ere an' drink a bit, got bored bein' 'round all t'ose girls." He said trying to sound casual.

2D chuckled

"Weird 'earin' yew of all people sayin' t'at about girls, fanks for keepin' yer word about t'at…It means a lot to me, did yew know t'ere were girls at t'e show t'at t'ought I was attractive?" The singer said like it was the greatest joke he'd heard.

Murdoc watched the younger man as he kicked his shoes off and removed his t shirt tossing it onto the other twin sized bed.

"I promised ya I'd stay away from birds while we're 'ere and I meant t'at. I always told ya yer attractive luv, not sure why ya never listened to me about t'at."

2D got on the bed with the bassist and crawled his way up to him, he settled so that he was now straddling the older man's lap. He wrapped his arms around his neck and leaned in against him, the singer took the bottle of wine the Satanist had been nursing all night and took a long drink from it before handing it back to him.

"I jus' figured yew said t'ose t'ings to shut me up or somefink."

Murdoc sat the bottle down on the night stand next to him; he wrapped his arms around the singer pulling his body flush against him.

"Nah mate I got better ways to get ya to shut up t'an tellin' yew yer beautiful."

"Like wot?"

He tangled his fingers in the singer's blue hair as he pressed his lips against his in a hard kiss. 2D's body tensed at first, but quickly relaxed into the action. They sat there kissing hungrily like they hadn't seen each other for years, it felt like they hadn't done this in years.

2D ground his hips down against the Satanist causing them both to moan loudly at the friction caused by the action. Murdoc gripped tightly to the taller man's hips holding him down against him as he began thrusting against him. The younger man buried his face against the bassist neck lightly nipping at his skin, everything he did with his mouth felt weird because of his missing teeth, but it was in a strangely arousing way.

Murdoc shoved the younger man down back against the bed so that he was now on top of him. 2D looked up at him smiling lazily; the older man wondered how many of his new pills he had taken before coming back to the hotel. Sometimes it bothered him when the singer would be stoned while they had sex, but he preferred it to seeing him in that much pain.

He leaned down running his tongue from the younger man's jawline down along his neck to the center of his chest. He smirked as the other man shivered beneath him, Murdoc reached down quickly unfastening 2D's jeans and shoving them down to his ankles. He sat back on his knees and went to work removing his own pants and tossing them to the floor.

2D sat up placing his hands firmly on the older man's shoulders, he began kissing him roughly. Murdoc reached down grabbing him by his hips and pushing him back down onto the bed, the younger man wrapped his legs around the middle of the Satanist's back. He pushed two fingers against the vocalist lips, the other man took the two digits into his mouth sucking on them. Murdoc couldn't help, but groan as 2D ran his tongue from the base to the tip of the older man's fingers as he sucked on them. Murdoc removed his fingers and reached down between them slowly pushing one finger into the other man's body.

The singer's muscles began to tense at the sudden intrusion, but loosened up a few seconds later. Usually the Satanist would try and take his time with this, but he'd went too many days without sex to care too much about the younger man and his comfort.

"Ready luv?"

2D nodded slowly in reply; even if he wasn't ready he wouldn't say anything.

Murdoc slowly pushed inside of him trying not to hurt him too much, he leaned down kissing and biting at his neck to try and distract him from the burning pain. Soft whimpers of pain fell from the younger man's mouth as the older man pulled out then pushed back in.

"I'll stop if yew wan' me to" He said as he looked down at the vocalist and the tears rolling down his cheeks.

"No I'll be al'ight my meds are just wearin' off a bit, t'at's all."

Murdoc kissed him roughly as he pulled out then pushed back in except harder this time. He reached down grabbing onto the other man's dick and began stroking him with each thrust of his hips to try and distract him from the pain that he knew would fade away eventually. When he swiped his thumb over the head of his dick the younger man arched his back off of the bed moaning loudly. The bassist smiled slyly as he began kissing and biting against his chest leaving little drops of blood, his favorite thing in the world was marking him with his teeth and nails.

The whimpers and other sounds of pain soon faded into ones of pleasure signaling for the Satanist to go at the rate he'd been wanting to. He pulled almost all the way out then shoved back into the younger man causing him to toss his head back against the bed, eyes shut tightly, and a loud moan falling from his lips. Murdoc was grateful there was a floor between their room and the one Russel and Noodle were staying in.

Murdoc bit into the singer's neck causing shorter more breathy moans as he continued pounding into him. 2D grabbed hold of his hair tugging at it roughly, the older man moved up capturing the younger man's lips with his own. 2D slid his tongue into the bassist mouth brushing it along the rows of pointed teeth.

"Murdoc, ah fu-fock"

The older man growled against his neck at the sound of his name falling from the singer's lips. Murdoc continued pumping the taller man bringing him closer to the edge, he could feel his own orgasm approaching. With a few more thrusts he was coming inside of the blue haired man. He felt fingers digging into his back and groaned as he rode out his orgasm. He continued stroking the singer until he was coming hard into his hand and onto his own stomach, his body tensed, then relaxed as he reached the end of his release.

Murdoc slowly pulled out of the younger man and lay down on the bed facing away from him. A minute later he felt arms wrap around his waist and a sweaty body press up against his back. He closed his eyes and focused on the warm breath against the back of his neck, he turned over so he was now facing the blue haired man.

"T'at was drivin' me insane, didn' know 'ow much longer I could go without a good shag." Murdoc said laughing to himself.

"I missed it too, I really like it cause I can stay in 'ere wit yew instead of runnin' out to me own room." 2D said smiling sadly

The older man kissed him softly; he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Well yew don't gotta worry 'bout t'at none while we're on tour luv."

2D laid his head on the older man's chest, Murdoc continued combing his fingers through his matted mess of blue hair. He was going to miss him like hell if there ever came a day the blue haired singer found a woman he wanted to be with and she didn't turn out to be disgusting. The thought made his heart tighten in his chest, a feeling he wasn't used to. He hoped it was a sign of a stroke, if it was anything else he was going to los whatever mind he had left.


	32. Chapter 32

"So 'ow'd it go at yer parents 'ouse?" Murdoc asked from his spot on the bed.

2D sat across from him smoking a cigarette and looking out the large window that over looked the city below.

"Went fine really, t'ey saw some of t'e bruises on me neck, 'ad to lie and say a girl did it to me….T'ey asked if yew really beat on me all t'e time and stuff, t'ey really still don't like yew much….T'ey're real happy for me being in a band t'ough and t'at I'm happy."

"Yeah I probably shoulda been more careful wit' t'e biting last night t'en." The bassist said chuckling

The singer blushed and looked down letting his blue hair fall over his face. Murdoc reached out pushing the locks back behind his ears. 2D looked up smiling shyly.

"It's al'ight t'ey really woul' freak t'ough if t'ey found out I did stuff wit' ya….Do yew t'ink we're gonna find Noodle's parents when we go to Japan?" The taller man asked changing the topic.

The Satanist shrugged and leaned back taking another long drink from the bottle of vodka he was holding.

"Eh maybe, hell t'ey might 'ave moved to t'e states y'know? Hard to tell w'ere the fuckers are, hopefully t'ey don't get her t'inkin they care or anythin' like t'at."

It was something he'd been starting to worry about. They would find the small girl's family and they would make up a million lies to try and get her to come back home. She would leave the band and Kong studios behind or move her family in with them; they wouldn't ever care about her they would just care about what she could do for them. He hoped nothing like that would happen; he didn't plan on being around when and if they went in search of her family. He knew his first reaction would be to punch one or both of her parents in the face for abandoning such a young child.

"It'll be al'ight Muds, she knows we're like family to 'er. She's real smart; she's been teachin' me more t'an I've been teachin' her lately." 2D said smiling dumbly

Murdoc shook his head slowly; he leaned forward kissing the younger man softly. He felt a hand on his cheek, fingers lightly stroking his skin. The kiss grew deeper and a tongue slipped into the older man's mouth. 2D broke from the kiss and grabbed the bottle away from the Satanist taking a long drink from it. The black haired man leaned forward running his tongue down along the younger man's neck to his chest before pulling away. The taller man lowered the bottle and smiled deviously at him.

"T'at's real good, yew always got pretty good booze on yew."

The bassist grabbed the bottle away from him finishing it off before tossing it to the floor.

"Well I wouldn't get t'at cheap shit unless I was real desperate for somethin'."

"Kinda like 'ow yew get wit' me w'en t'ere's no other option." 2D said laughing sadly.

Murdoc looked at him questioningly for a moment, the moments the singer would say something smart or coherent scared him.

He placed his hands firmly on the younger man's chest and pushed him back down onto the bed, he sat straddling 2D's lap looking down at him intensely. He took hold of the singer's wrists holding them up on either side of his head; the blue haired man continued staring up at him with a nearly blank expression.

"Look I 'aven't touched one bird since tour started and yew aren't some last resort option."

Murdoc kissed him roughly, the man under him kissed back eagerly like he always did. This tour made him wish they were back in their shit little flat where they could do this all the time without worry of being caught. He knew the singer deserved better than this, but he was always right there like he owed Murdoc his very existence, and in a way he did.


	33. Chapter 33

The shows in Japan had been incredible; the fans there seemed more excited than any of the other ones. It was also easier on Murdoc since most of them seemed more interested in his bass playing, broken nose, and his Satanism. Only a few girls would try and hit on him, but it was a very rare thing which made him quite relieved. With Alan's help they had found the general area of where Noodle had come from, but when they got to the town she told them not to follow her. Alan was the only one that went with her and when they returned the next day he informed the three of them that she had only let him go only so far with her. They had tried asking her what happened, about her parents, and where exactly they were living at. She never answered though; she seemed different afterwards like something extreme had happened in that day that changed her mentality. Murdoc wanted to find the place himself and see what they did to the young guitarist, but Russel had warned him not to.

"Yew t'ink she'll be al'ight t'en?" 2D asked looking up at the larger man who sat watching TV.

Russel shrugged and just barely looked away from the screen.

"I don't know D, I'm worried about her, but this is pretty big. I mean her family did ship her home in a box and after all this time she goes back home to find what happened. I think any of us would be weirded out after something like that; it'll take awhile until she's better."

Murdoc threw his empty beer bottle across the room; it hit the wall cracking and falling to the floor. 2D gave him a curious look trying to figure out if he was upset or just bored.

"T'ey better not 'ave 'urt her or nothin'." The bassist mumbled beneath his breath.

The drummer looked away from the screen and raised a thick eyebrow at the older man.

"Since when do you care about any of us getting hurt, plus you were the one who wanted to throw baby girl out on her ass when she arrived at Kong."

Murdoc rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, but she's a damn good guitarist. She is jus' a kid and I told yew lot 'bout my dad so why wouldn' I care?"

"You've got some real fucked up emotions, you know that right?" Russel asked sounding more confused than angry at this point.

"Yeah t'at's wot t'e doctors told me too, wanted me to take medications for it or somethin' never did. Traded 'em in fer some stuff though." He said smirking.

Any medications he received as a teenager for his mental illness he generally traded to students and creepy old men hanging around pubs for real drugs. It had resulted in various addictions which now consisted of weed, cocaine, and stealing pills from 2D on occasion. He found more comfort in drinking alcohol, it was easier to get, and it made him less paranoid about jail time.

"Wot kinda stuff?"

Murdoc smacked the vocalist in the back of the head causing him to groan in pain.

"Wot did yew do t'at for, I jus' asked yew a question. Yer always so rude w'en I ask fings." He muttered as he rubbed at the back of his head.

"Ah shuddup faceache and go down to our room and grab me a bottle of whiskey." He said glaring at the taller man.

2D climbed to his feet and stumbled towards the door. Murdoc leaned back against the foot of the bed lighting up a cigarette and putting it between his lips.

"Y'know you don't gotta be such a prick to the kid, bad enough he worships you."

"Aren't yew t'e one w'o strangled 'im last month?"

"Yeah okay I beat on him sometimes, but you generally end up breaking something. I don't know why he hangs around you so much; you really must have hit him hard with your van."

"Yer jus' jealous nobody worships yer fat arse." Murdoc said laughing.

"Yeah cause I always aspired to be a greasy skinned Nazi ass drunk." Russel said rolling his eyes.

"'ey I ain't no Nazi I jus' appreciate good style t'at's all."

"Nazi" the younger man mumbled under his breath.

The door opened and 2D walked in with the bottle of whiskey in hand and Alan behind him. Murdoc snatched the bottle from the vocalist hand never saying a word to him.

"So has baby girl said anything yet or is she still keeping to herself?" Russel asked sounding extremely concerned.

"Well she did say something about a doctor and something about it answered her nightmares…I don't really know what she means to be honest unless her nightmares were about her childhood, probably about when her parents shipped her off. Maybe one of them is dying or something, that'd explain the doctor part….other than that I don't really know, she just seems extremely distant right now….I think she's going to need a lot of alone time."

The drummer nodded in agreement before turning his attention back to the TV set. 2D still looked worried, but joined in on watching whatever was on the TV.

"So she still gonna be playin' shows or wot?"

Murdoc could feel his two band mates glaring at him.

"I'm sure she'll still play, but she probably won't be really sociable after shows." Alan said sounding slightly shocked at the bassist question.

"Man you're a fucking dick." Russel said sounding disgusted.

"Yeah t'at's pretty mean Muds; she's been th'ough a lot."

The bassist leaned over smacking the singer hard in the back of the head again. 2D groaned and took his pill bottle out of his pocket spilling four pills into the palm of his hand then popping them into his mouth.

"Swear yer gonna over dose one of t'ese days ya fuckin' idiot."

"No I'm not; I jus' need more t'an mos' people."

"Yeah all I need is a psychotic guitarist and a dead singer, does me real good." Murdoc said before taking another drink of whiskey.

They spent a couple of hours in the room watching the shows and infomercials. Murdoc eventually grew bored of it and left going up to his own hotel room where he removed his clothes and collapsed on the bed staring up at the ceiling. They just had a few more shows in Europe then they would play a few shows in America and finally they would be back home. He couldn't wait to be back home; it was weird calling the large haunted building a home.

He heard the door click open the shut, a few minutes later the blue haired singer was curled up at his side with his face buried in the crook of his neck. Murdoc felt lips pressing against his skin and groaned.

"I'm gonna miss bein' on tour, 'specially 'ow much time I get to spend wit' yew." 2D whispered against the older man's neck.

The Satanist ran his fingers idly through his spiked hair.

"Yeah I'll miss it too mate."

Part of him wished that this tour would make the singer sick of being around him so much. That he'd eventually realize that Murdoc wasn't that attractive or that he was a rude bastard with a drinking problem. If anything though it just made 2D more addicted to being around him as much as he possibly could. He wasn't sure anymore there was a way to get the younger man to realize he wasn't the greatest thing on the face of the Earth.

Murdoc rolled over so that he was facing the taller man, 2D looked up at him smiling. He placed a hand on the singer's cheek and leaned in kissing him slowly. The kiss ended; 2D wrapped his arms loosely around the older man's waist holding him closely. He buried his face in his hair inhaling the scent, he always smelled so feminine. Usually he made fun of him for it, but really he liked it, he liked a lot about him….Too many things about him, he needed to find a way to distance himself from the singer.


	34. Chapter 34

Murdoc pushed 2D up against the wall, the younger man groaned into his mouth as they continued kissing heatedly. He pushed the taller man's shirt up around his chest and raked his jagged nails down along his stomach leaving light red welts in their wake. The singer arched his back pressing his body tighter against the older man's at the sensation. 2D tangled his fingers in Murdoc's hair tugging at it.

Loud knocking at the door interrupted them and what they were doing.

"Hey guys were going on in a few minutes; get your asses out here." Russels' voice boomed from the other side of the door.

They broke from the kiss and stared at each other breathing heavily, 2D unwrapped his legs from around the older man's waist. Murdoc stepped back from the singer and looked away feeling slightly awkward at the moment. It was their last show in Europe, tomorrow morning they would be on a plane back to the states.

"Should probably get out, last show 'ere….We'll pick t'is back up at t'e hotel luv." Murdoc said placing a hand on the blue haired man's hip pulling him close, they kissed again, but not as long this time.

2D blushed and nodded; the bassist turned and left the room with the taller man following right behind him.

The building was packed full just like every other place they had played. There were the screaming girls trying to climb on stage, the drunken guys trying to stage dive, and all of the other usual things that seemed to occur at their concerts. It seemed like when they were on stage it was one of the few times all of them got along perfectly and he noticed it was one of the few times in the past few days that Noodle seemed really alive again. Even Murdoc had to admit he'd been a little worried about the girl, now when she had her nightmares she didn't want anybody to comfort her. She just wanted to be even more isolated from everybody else. He wondered what things would be like once they were back at Kong, it seemed like every second his mind was going from one subject to the next. Sometimes he would end up staring at 2D and thinking about him, about what they'd just been doing almost an hour ago, what they would be finishing back at the hotel. Sometimes he thought having sex with the singer was better than any bird he'd hooked up with. They were always so fake or so horrible at it, there wasn't any passion, or emotion involved. 2D wasn't fake like that and he liked the way he'd blush anytime Murdoc tried to get him to say anything filthy, it was always something so embarrassing for him.  
>He was really starting to hate how much he thought about 2D, it was almost constant. He tried ignoring him for the remainder of the show and on the way back to the hotel. He could feel those black eyes staring at him the entire time like he was just dying to ask what was wrong. For somebody so dumb he generally could tell when the Satanist was upset, when something was off about him. He never liked that, he always feared he would sense something else, something that neither of them should know about.<p>

Once the door to their room was shut and locked Murdoc had the younger man pressed up against it and his legs were wrapped around the older man's waist once again. He kissed the singer roughly, biting at his lip and clawing at his pale skin; he swallowed every moan and whimper that fell from his lips. He wanted to hurt him, he never knew why.

Murdoc reached down grabbing hold of the younger man's shirt pushing it up his body; 2D grabbed at it pulling it up over his head and tossing it to the ground. He leaned back in kissing the older man; the bassist moved them away from the door and laid the singer down on the bed. He moaned at the fingers digging into his bare shoulder blades as he bit down on the younger man's lip causing him to elicit a small whimper. He reached down quickly unfastening the vocalist jeans, Murdoc got up off of the bed and quickly removed his own kicking them to the side. 2D mirrored the action kicking his own pants to the floor; he sat up on his knees placing a hand on the back of the bassist head pulling him into a passionate kiss.

He couldn't help, but moan when the younger man pulled him down onto the bed switching their positions so that he was now on top. 2D's body was pressed firmly against his, his fingers tangling in his shaggy hair as they continued to kiss. Murdoc slid his hands down the singer's body grabbing hold of his ass squeezing causing the blue haired man to moan loudly. He broke from the kiss and began kissing along the other man's neck listening to each desperate moan and unintelligible word. He loved everything about this; something about the singer was so attractive.

Murdoc continued kissing down his body stopping near his dick. The singer continued tugging at his hair as more frustrated sounds fell from his mouth. The Satanist looked up at him smirking, the look of lust and desperation in the younger man's eyes made him shiver. He took the head of the singer's dick into his mouth running his tongue back and forth over the tip. 2D's back arched up off of the bed; he released the older man's hair, and instead grabbed at the sheets. Murdoc continued the lazy motions with his tongue while he slowly took more of the younger man into his mouth sucking slowly; he loved each frustrated cry, and the way he kept bucking his hips trying to force him to take more in.

He pulled back completely and reached over grabbing his discarded jeans up off of the floor long enough to get the tiny container of lube out of the pocket. He emptied the substance onto the palm of his hand coating his fingers and dick. He positioned himself between 2D's legs and slowly pushed two fingers inside of him, the younger man let out a shaky breath at the feeling of the intrusion. Murdoc began kissing and biting at his neck as he worked his fingers inside of him, he pulled them half way out then shoved back in causing the singer to moan loudly.

"Come on luv tell me wot yew want." Murdoc whispered, his voice came out thick.

2D looked up at him and groaned as he continued thrusting his hips against the older man's hand. Murdoc pulled his fingers out of him causing the younger to let out a frustrated cry.

"Mu'doc please, yew know I don't….Jus'….Please Mu'doc"

"Yew gotta say it pet, y'know I like 'earin' it." He said smiling down at him slyly.

The singer bit at his bottom lip and began blushing.

"I…I wan' yew to….I wan' yew to fuck me Mu'doc" He finally managed out his voice cracking.

The bassist leaned down kissing him roughly then pulling away.

"Good boy" he whispered before pushing his dick inside of him.

Murdoc buried his face against the singer's chest as he pushed inside of him until he was a little over half way inside then pulled back out. He pushed back in again except at a harder pace causing the other man to moan loudly and dig his nails into the bassist back. He tried to keep himself at a slow pace for awhile, but it was difficult. He moved up kissing 2D passionately, he dug his nails into his hips as he began thrusting into him at the rate he'd been wanting to. He could feel the body under him tense, but there weren't any other real protest from the blue haired man.

2D tossed his head back against the bed his eyes shut tightly as he moaned loudly, Murdoc took the opportunity to bite and suck at his neck getting every bare spot that was left and opening up old wounds from nights before. He continued pounding into the taller man muffling every moan against his neck with another bite. The body under him writhed and met him thrust for thrust, he grabbed hold of the singer's erection pumping him in time with his thrusts which were becoming faster and harder with each passing minute.

He focused on every cuss word and every time the vocalist called out his name. His name sounded so incredible being called like that, he moved up kissing the younger man hungrily devouring every sound he had to offer. Fingers tangled in his hair pulling him closer, he pressed 2D's body firmly against his as he continued his frantic pace.

The blue haired man buried his face in the crook of Murdoc's neck moaning the bassist name as he began to come into his hand and on their stomachs. The older man moaned when 2D began biting at his neck then sucking at the now slightly sore skin. He continued thrusting into the younger man digging his nails into his skin until it broke and began bleeding. With one more thrust he was coming inside of him, he let out weak moans mostly cussing but allowing the singer's name to slip out as well.

He laid the younger man down on the bed pulling out of him and laying down next to him while they both tried to catch their breath. After a few minutes 2D pulled himself up in a sitting position and looked down at the older man curiously.

"I don't fink yew ever called me Stu before when we….Well y'know." He said averting his gaze.

"Yeah well….I gotta take a shower; if ya want yew can join me. Don't really care either way." Murdoc said getting up from the bed and making his way to the small bathroom.

Just as expected the singer followed right behind him.


	35. Chapter 35

They were finally back home, they only had another show to play and they could go back to Kong studios. Murdoc couldn't wait to get back, he hadn't been able to sit in a room alone and really drink, or go find some rather drunk bird for the night. He did miss women, not as much as he thought that he would though.

He glanced over at the blue haired singer who sat staring at himself in the mirror not paying much attention to anything. The bassist always had to wonder what thoughts were going through that nearly empty head of his at times like those, they seemed to occur more and more often with every passing day. He tried picturing 2D before all of his head injuries, picturing what he was like when he was at least decently smart…It was impossible to picture a smart 2D, he really couldn't get himself to do it. He liked the one they had now though, even in there were occasions where he wanted to strangle him to death. There were the times he had strangled him probably too roughly and for too long, sometimes Russel would have to pull him off of the younger man. Those times hadn't happened for a couple of months though; Murdoc had managed to lay off of the beatings during a good portion of the tour.

He could hear the crowd screaming and knew they would be going on soon. He glanced over at Noodle who stood in the shadows tuning her guitar that seemed far too large for her. That something he'd sensed when she first arrived at Kong seemed to have grown worse ever since their visit to Japan. She still hadn't talked much; she jumped at almost everything, and didn't even spend much time with fans lately. She just wanted to go to her room, everybody liked to say it was because she was exhausted. She was very young to be touring and going on planes and playing rock shows at such a constant rate, but Murdoc didn't bull shit himself like everybody else did. He knew something was wrong with the girl, but he knew it wasn't anything she'd be anywhere near willing to discuss. He had noticed Russel acting kind of odd as well, but it seemed mostly in relation to Noodle. Murdoc hated the father like status he was starting to have towards the young girl. He knew it'd make it hard on all of them once she was in her teen years and would be going into the stages of flirting, he hoped Russel wouldn't take out half their male fan base.

He was snapped back to attention when one of the workers at the venue told them to go on stage. He watched as 2D slowly rose to his feet walking almost lifelessly out of the back area, he couldn't help but think of the day he'd come out of his zombie like state. He'd been thinking about those times a lot lately, they seemed like better times in a rather naïve way.

Murdoc grabbed his bass and followed his band mates out onto the stage, just another show, and they would be back at Kong. He loved playing shows; he loved selling his body in that hour to all of those screaming women. This time he hoped he could take one or two of them back to his hotel room, again he was bunking with 2D, but it was the last show of the tour. Most likely Russel would keep the singer out until all hours exploring and drinking, so it was plenty of time for the bassist to do what he'd wanted to do for awhile now. Yet something still felt weird about it, like it was a chore, something he did by nature even though he didn't want to do it….No he wasn't doing that to himself, he wasn't gay, he'd screamed it at a hundred interviewers by now. He wasn't tying himself to the dullard, he liked women, he'd just let his ways slide over the past few months. He would grab two decently attractive women and be back to his old ways in no time, that's all that he needed.


	36. Chapter 36

They weren't the most gorgeous women Murdoc could find, but they were definitely eager to get closer to the bassist. One of the women was in her early 20s with long black hair, green eyes; she wore a black shirt cut up to her chest, and skin tight blue jeans. The other woman seemed to be more in her 30s with short cut blonde hair, over done makeup, brown eyes; she wore a pink tank top and cut up denim shorts.

After half a bottle of vodka both women appeared to be as sexy as models to the now decently drunk bass player. The blonde haired woman raked manicured nails down his bare stomach and bit at his neck while the black haired woman's lips were currently on his in a heated kiss. She tasted like cheap alcohol and candy, he felt a weight on his lower stomach and glanced down to see the over done blonde straddling him. She ran her tongue from his chest down to her stomach while raking her nails down his side; her eyes were locked on his in the process. The brunette's tongue wandered around his mouth gliding over his jagged teeth while her fingers tugged at his greasy black hair. He groaned into her mouth when he felt a hand grabbing at his crotch.

"Wot t'e fuck is goin' on?"

Murdoc pushed the dark haired girl off of him and turned around to see 2D standing in the doorway with his fists clenched at his sides, his body shook, and he looked like he was either about to scream or burst into tears. The two women were too drunk and horny to notice the lead singer's emotional state, Murdoc was too aroused and drunk to think of what to do.

"Jus' gettin' to know t'ese birds 'ere, wot do ya t'ink I'm doin faceache?"

"He's kinda cute" The black haired woman whispered before she began kissing and biting at the older man's neck.

"W-we 'ad an agreement, yew weren't gonna do t'is shit. Yew promised me, yew sai-yew said yew weren't gonna do t'is until we were back 'ome an' yew can't even wait t'at long!"

"2D calm down mate, I kept to t'e agreement."

"Bull shit!" The singer screamed banging his fist into the wall before turning and storming out of the room.

Murdoc laid back on the bed staring up at the ceiling sighing heavily. Neither woman seemed to really notice or care about the scene that had just played out. He could still feel their lips and hands on his body almost like some sick form of worship; he didn't even want them anymore. He was too drunk to go after the blue haired man, and too out of it to send the two women away. He closed his eyes focusing on their touches letting himself go with everything that they did to him. He wasn't thinking about them though, he was thinking about 2D. In a more sober state of mind he'd probably hate himself for having to think about the faceache while having sex with two decent looking birds.

He couldn't stop himself though, he couldn't stop from thinking the mouth on his body was 2D's, the fingers clawing into his back, and the body pressed tightly against him. All of the sensations over whelmed him; he didn't know what the hell was wrong with him. Whatever was going on he just wished he could make it go away.


	37. Chapter 37

The trip back to Kong was nearing on unbearable, nobody was really talking. Noodle spent the entire trip asleep, Russel was always lost in his head, and 2D just seemed like he wasn't even there. Murdoc swore he'd heard him crying once or twice, but didn't dare say anything. He had thought about talking to the singer after the women had left, but knew better than that. He considered talking to him once they were all back home, but doubted they'd get enough time alone for something like that. What would he say anyways; as far as Murdoc was concerned he had kept his promise. He felt like shit about what had happened, it reminded him back to when he'd shagged Paula. He hoped this wouldn't go like that, he knew there was most likely nothing stopping 2D from dropping out of the band this time.

When they arrived home everybody got out of the bus and silently went inside. Murdoc watched as everybody went off to their rooms to rest. Some part of him thought 2D would say something to him or at least look at him, but he didn't. He just made his way to his bedroom slamming the door shut behind him.

The Satanist made his way to the kitchen grabbing a bottle of whiskey out of the cabinet and made his way out to the parking garage and into his own little space. He flung himself down on the bed and began drinking greedily from the bottle, he really had missed being in his Winnebago.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall feeling somewhat content with the silence. Maybe 2D would just get over it; the kid barely had an attention span. He would just simply forget about it, Murdoc still couldn't see what had upset him. More so that he didn't want to, he had wanted to push the younger man. He'd wanted him to not worship him, not look at him with that expression of love he carried even when the older man was beating him senseless. Maybe now that would all change, they would stop having sex most likely, but at least he wouldn't have to worry about the singer having feelings for him; he still couldn't let go of how pissed off he had been. He'd seen him throw tantrums, break things, and sometimes even burn them. Something about this told him the singer's fit would last longer than a day or two of destruction. He really wanted to check on him and try to explain what had happened.

No, he didn't need to do that. He just needed to sit in his space, drink, and forget about the singer. He needed to stop caring about how he was feeling or if he was in pain physical or other wise. He was beginning to soften up because of the younger man and it was driving him crazy, the only way he'd gotten through sex with two women was by thinking about the blue haired idiot.

He felt the guilt and confusion fade into anger. He looked at the near empty bottle that he gripped tightly in his hand; he threw it against the wall watching as the glass shattered falling to the floor like dangerous snow. He got out of his bed and stormed out of his home on wheels, he made his way to the singer's room. He hated how he was feeling, how he had been feeling for all of this time now, this wasn't how he was supposed to function. He'd built himself up to be a certain way, years of working on building a wall around his emotions and one fucking idiot he hit with his van changed that.

Murdoc threw the bedroom door open causing the singer to look up at him from his spot on the bed. His black eyes still looked angry, but the anger was turning into fear when he noticed the look of rage on the older man's face. The bassist grabbed him roughly by the arm and jerked him down onto the floor, 2D tried to get up, but Murdoc kicked him swiftly in the stomach knocking him back to the ground. The younger man curled up on his side clutching onto his stomach, his face grimaced in pain. The Satanist leaned down grabbing him by his hair and dragging him up to his feet and shoving him back against a wall. The taller man looked at him with confused fear, Murdoc wanted to hate him so badly. He wanted to blame him for every little thing that went wrong in his life, why was he so emotionally attached to the idiot. He didn't have a working brain cell in his head, he was pathetic, and clingy….He was weak just like Murdoc had been growing up, just a weak, disgusting, trusting little idiot everybody beat up.

He punched 2D in the face a few times before tossing him back to the floor. This time the singer didn't even try to get up he just curled up into the fetal position and began crying.

He was too weak to even fight back; he would just stay there letting the bassist do whatever he wanted. It sickened him, why was he so weak, and trusting? He was pissed at Murdoc, why wasn't he telling him off or trying to hurt him?

The bassist began kicking him again at his arms, legs, and his back. He reached over grabbing a lamp off of the bed side table and threw it against a wall. He looked down at the singer who hadn't moved an inch, his body shook most likely with an oncoming migraine, and Murdoc could clearly hear him sobbing. He thought about kicking him again, apologizing, or screaming at him. He didn't though, he didn't trust anything else he could do or say, and with one final look he turned and walked out of the room leaving the blue haired man a bloodied mess on the floor.

The rage flooded out of his body leaving him with a feeling of exhaustion and more self hatred. He grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and stumbled out to the garage going back to his space. His home away from home where nobody could really get to him, he didn't want them around. He just wanted to be alone with his alcohol and the pills he had stocked up that he'd stolen from the dullard. He didn't need anybody and he wished he could find a way to remove the humane voice in the back of his head telling him how stupid he was. Some part of him wanted to run back and apologize, that was weak though, and Murdoc wasn't weak. Not anymore, he'd been weak at one time in his life, but he had killed that person. He wasn't that stupid kid anymore who took shit and would sometimes make a smart ass remark, but still be left bloodied in the corner. He wasn't like 2D, he wasn't a fucking victim, he was the attacker, and he damn well liked that role. Yet he couldn't help the tightening in his chest and the wetness he felt built up in his eyes, fuck.


	38. Chapter 38

The next few weeks at Kong were tense, Murdoc wanted to call them awkward, but that was a weak word to describe it. Sometimes he'd lie in his filth covered bed listening to 2D crying in his bedroom, other times he'd wake up to Noodle screaming from more nightmares. Nobody really talked; the young girl stayed to herself quite a lot, 2D the times he did come out from his room generally had his head bowed and hair in his face like he was too ashamed to make eye contact with anybody. Murdoc spent the majority of his time drunk and generally in the recording studio playing on his bass hoping to drown out the painful cries of the living and the dead surrounding him.

Today was one of the rare occasions where they were all in the same room together. Noodle sat with her head bowed completely motionless, 2D sat next to her in the same position except he was fumbling with his long fingers nervously, Murdoc was one his fourth beer of the morning, and Russel was studying his band mates trying to figure out where they had gone to.

"We need a break." The drummer announced causing everybody to look up in confusion.

It'd been awhile since Murdoc had heard anybody speak; the only voices seemed to come from the dead and the demons thriving inside of the building. Sometimes he would go down to the room where he finally discovered a portal to Hell. Nobody knew about it, it was just another room to them, but it was the place the Satanist often went when he got tired of the living world around him.

"We are on break fat arse" The bassist mumbled sounding agitated.

"From each other; I'm not saying we need to end the band, I'm definitely not saying that. I'm just saying that we need a break from each other. Shit baby girl hasn't said much for months now, 2D is…I don't know what's with him, and I have a feeling it has something to do with your ass."

Murdoc glared at the larger man, but looked away. He couldn't even pretend to take offense to that statement since it was all completely his fault.

"So wot t'en we all just go wherever?"

"Well I need to go think over some things so I'm leaving the state, Noodle said a few days ago she wants to go back to Japan, and find out more about her past….You guys I don't know what you're going to do."

2D looked up at the drummer for a second almost like he wasn't sure if he could speak or not.

"T'is is a stupid idea, we don' need a break. T'is is my band and I never said anybody coul' leave 'ere."

"I like it, I'm goin' to go back 'ome for awhile….Help my dad wit' t'e fair grounds, Mu'doc yew can stay 'ere and drink yerself to death like yew always wan' to do." 2D said as he glared at the older man.

With that the singer got up and left the room, on instinct Murdoc wanted to scream at him, or hit him. He couldn't though, he just sat staring at the now empty chair trying to process the bitter hatred and betrayal the younger man had expressed before leaving. A couple of minutes later Noodle and Russel left the room going to get their things together leaving Murdoc all alone in the kitchen.

He tried processing what had happened and what was now happening. Soon he would be all alone in Kong; he hadn't been completely by himself for a very long time. He often hated the company of others, but they were always an option. He could always go to somebody to yell at them, fight with them, or talk to them….Now though he'd be completely alone and he didn't know how long….He'd be fine, he didn't need them around anyways. Noodle really did need the break; he couldn't say anything bad towards that. Russel he didn't understand what the bore fest needed to go and think about. 2D couldn't live away from Kong; he couldn't go and do a normal job for longer than a month at the longest. Murdoc knew they'd all be back soon, in the mean time he could more openly explore the depths of Hell, and not worry about hurting the feelings of a certain blue haired man.


	39. Chapter 39

Okay so this is the last chapter for Phase One. I'm going to be posting a new story tomorrow that will be the beginning of Phase Two.

Murdoc hated the time alone, he hated the solitude. For a few weeks he had enjoyed it, enjoyed not hearing 2D whining constantly, or Noodle going through the house yelling in a hyper like fit. He liked being able to walk through Kong not worrying that the dullard was out in the grave yard being torn to shreds by the walking dead or really losing his temper at anybody.

After awhile though it started to get to him, he'd spend most of his time completely drunk. He noticed his skin was starting to change colors just a little bit from the constant abuse of alcohol, cigarettes, and pills he really didn't need. He wondered if this meant he was dying, he didn't really care. He felt less human, but at the time he felt more human. He didn't even know anymore, he had emotions that he wasn't used to. Emotions that being around 2D had caused, he assumed with the singer away the feelings would go with him. They hadn't, they had only gotten worse over the time, weeks turned into months, and then months turned into years.

He had to admit he missed his fucked up little family, his band. He couldn't help but wonder where Russel was at, if Noodle was alright with whatever she found out about herself back in Japan, and he had to wonder if 2D had decided he rather stay at home with his parents….Shit maybe he found some bird and was living with her now, had a kid or two….Probably married, she was probably a bitch.

He felt stupid at the thought, at the fact that his heart felt tight in his chest when he thought about it. Sometimes he would go into the singer's vacant bedroom and just spend time in there. Sometimes he would sleep in there, other times he would go through his things. The younger man hadn't packed a whole lot, but still the bassist couldn't help, but worry that they were never coming back.

He couldn't help blaming himself; he hated what he was becoming. He had tried acting like nothing bothered him, like 2D meant nothing to him….he didn't mean anything to him, he was just some idiot he hit with his car, through in his band, and fucked sometimes. The blue haired idiot meant absolutely nothing to him, but yet the idea of never seeing him again made him feel something. Something he had hoped would die with all of his other organs with each bottle he drank.

He needed to get out, go somewhere different. He couldn't stay in Kong anymore, he wouldn't abandon, but he needed a vacation of some sort. He'd go back in a few weeks maybe, maybe by then he'd hear from one of his band mates and they'd be ready to see each other again. As long as he could get somewhere else and stop thinking about the dullard then he knew everything would be alright.


End file.
